A Break in the Clouds
by LauGS
Summary: At the age of 21, Chris is still living in Clovis, stuck with a life he once promised himself he wouldn't have. But one night, things change violently for him, and he finds himself unexpectadly leaving the town that was never home, which leads him to a city he's never thought he'd get to and to a boy who's going to put his life upside down.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! I hope you're doing wonderfully today :)**

**Welcome to my new story. ABITC is a CrissColfer AU that I finished back in July and that I loved writting, so I hope you'll enjoy it, too.**

**Title is from John Mayer's song. I don't own it. I don't own Chris or Darren, either. Or anything, really. I just own this computer. And not really because my parents are paying for it.**

**Huge thanks to the best beta ever, Wutif, for always doing her job so well. If you like my stories it's probably more because of her corrections than because of my writing. That's just how amazing she is.**

**Let's go to the fic, then! :)**

* * *

The night he was beaten up after leaving work, was the night Chris decided he couldn't stay in Clovis anymore.

He was exhausted and all he could think about was getting into his warm, comfortable bed after two very long, very torturous shifts at the supermarket where he was working since he had finished high school. It was almost midnight and he wasn't sure how he was going to stay awake on the bus ride home. He was walking through the dark parking lot when three guys he knew, unfortunately, very well, surrounded him.

"Hey faggy," the one in the middle said. He was on year older than Chris. He still remembered him from high school, from all the times Brandon Michaels had pushed him around, locked him in lockers, spat words of hate towards him.

Chris didn't answer. He lowered his head, as he had learnt to do back in school and kept walking.

"What's up, lady boy? Where are your manners?" The second one, Ian Lowell, started walking next to him. He put an arm around Chris' shoulders, who cringed away from him.

Some years ago, Chris would've come out with a witty remark and stunned the three less than brilliant guys with his clever sarcasm. But he had learnt the hard way that it wasn't the best thing to do. It had worked just fine the first fifty times, but after that, it just made his bullies even angrier.

"Come on, don't be a buzz kill," Brandon smiled crookedly at him. "Why the rush? Stick around for a little while. We could have some fun."

Ian's grasp became tighter. Chris tried to move away, unsuccessfully, and Ian took the opportunity to snatch his bag from him. Chris paled.

"No, please," he said, and he hated that he had to beg. He hated it so much. "My sister's medicines are in there. Please give it back."

He didn't care about anything else but Hannah's pills. He had gotten his paycheck the previous day and stopped by the store to pick up her prescriptions before going into work earlier today. They could keep the damn bag if they wanted, but not Hannah's medication.

"What if we don't believe you?" Brandon asked, smirking. "What is it that you really have in there?"

"Go through it if you want, but just give me the pills," Chris answered and he could feel the anger growing inside of him. He always could, but he hadn't done anything about it in such a long time… "Now."

"Are you giving me orders, homo?" Ian spat, frowning.

"No! I'm just asking you to give me my sister's stuff!" He clenched his fists at his side.

He wasn't sure what happened after that. He just knew he reached to grab his bag again, but when Ian moved to shield it behind his back, he must've brushed his hand against him. He really couldn't remember touching any part of the boy, but the horrified, disgusted look on Ian's face and his furious reaction told him maybe he did.

"Keep your hands off me, fag!" Ian exclaimed and Brandon pushed him, catching him off guard. He tripped on a crack in the pavement and fell to the ground.

He didn't know he was being beaten until he felt the cold, hard pavement against his face as he tried to protect his head under his arms. He didn't feel the pain, not really, as he tried to protect his head under his arms. He was too busy worrying about his bag. _Hannah's pills, I need Hannah's pills._

Eventually, they seemed to get bored. They kicked his stomach once last time before walking away, shouting at him as they left, but Chris didn't understand any of what they were saying. He stayed very still until only silence surrounded him and, then, only then, he unwrapped his arms from around his head and peered at the dark street. His bag was abandoned a few feet away.

There was blood on the asphalt, on his shirt, dripping down his face, but he paid no attention to it. He forced himself to his feet and grabbed his bag, which was untouched, miraculously. Apparently they had found punching Chris to be a lot more fun than going through his stuff.

He didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.

The way back home was a blur to Chris. He wasn't sure if he had walked all the way there or if he had taken the bus. He only realized he arrived when he heard his mother's gasp and suddenly a pair of hands was grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Christopher! What happened to you? Oh my God," Karyn Colfer looked completely terrified, but Chris just brushed her off and put the pill bottles in her hands.

"I'm going to bed," he mumbled with the little remaining strength he had left.

He heard his mom calling after him, asking him to tell her what had happened, but Chris ignored her and shut his bedroom's door behind him with a slam.

This was his life.

When he was a little kid he had big dreams consisting mostly of getting the hell out of Clovis. But then Hannah was born and those dreams weren't important anymore because his little sister needed him. His parents couldn't afford all of her medical bills on their own, so college was out of the question for Chris. He finished high school and immediately started working, and his dreams of making a life in a bigger city vanished into nothingness.

He was trapped, but weren't they all?

At some point, he must've fallen asleep in his blood-stained shirt and with the skin of his face feeling tight and irritated because of the tears he didn't know he had allowed to fall. But he wasn't the only one who was crying. He woke up to discover his mother was sitting on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair lightly and crying silently.

"You have to get out of here…"

"No. I'm fine," he assured her, but his voice was emotionless. "It was a bad night, that's all."

"Christopher…" Karyn said, pleadingly.

"Hannah needs me," Chris muttered and he dug his fingers into his pillow.

"You're right," she nodded, before her body started shaking with quiet sobs. "She needs her brother, but you won't be around for her if something worse happens to you…"

"Mom…"

"What if they kill you one day?" She covered her face with her hands. "And I did nothing to avoid it…"

Chris sat up and enveloped his mother in his arms, even though it hurt. His muscles were starting to feel the pain from the beating. "There's nothing we can do. You know that."

It was true. His bullies had always known how to avoid getting caught by making sure no one was around when they were turning Chris' life into hell, but also Brandon's father was in charge of Clovis' police department and he had made sure to cover up his son's mistakes.

"You can leave this town, Christopher," Karyn looked right into Chris' blue eyes. "You've always been too bright for Clovis anyway…"

"It's not that easy," Chris swallowed. He had nowhere to go. And it wasn't as if he had never fantasized about leaving and never looking back… it was just that he had started to believe that wasn't meant to be.

"Nothing is easy," she leaned a bit to kiss his forehead. "We've spent so many years worried about what could happen to Hannah that we didn't pay enough attention to what you were going through. You're our kid, our baby boy… this is not the life I wanted for you."

Chris didn't answer. Saying that it wasn't the life he had wanted for himself either wouldn't help.

Karyn pulled him into a hug and he closed his eyes, inhaling the sweet scent of his mother's shampoo. He gave himself a minute to imagine what life could be like living somewhere else, the places he could go, the things he could do, the fears he could lose. Maybe out of Clovis he would even be able to get a better job, to make enough money to help with Hannah's bills.

Even with the pain he was feeling right then and there, Chris couldn't help but feel the little tickle in his stomach, that tickle he felt when the characters in his favorite books and movies were about to go on an adventure. He had ached his entire life for something out of the ordinary to happen to him, but maybe he just needed to get away and look for it.

He nodded against his mom's shoulder and she understood without the need for words.

He needed to try before it was too late.

* * *

Chris packed his life in a suitcase and a backpack and that was it. He tried not to think too much about what he was doing, because there was a little voice in the back of his head saying he was crazy, but he needed to ignore it.

He tried to give his parents money for Hannah's bills, but they didn't take it. When they turned their backs, he slipped an envelope with half of his savings in a bookcase. Leaving was already hard enough. Leaving feeling he wasn't doing enough for his sister was plain impossible.

The worst part was explaining to Hannah what was going on, how he couldn't stay with her, how he needed to go somewhere else, to be safe. Hannah stared at him for a long minute, as if she was processing his words, before launching herself in his arms. Chris wasn't a hundred percent sure she had understood what he said, but it didn't matter then. All he cared about was his sister's body pressed against him, holding him as if she wasn't going to let go.

Chris was still thinking about that hug as his father drove him to the bus station. He knew he was talking, giving him instructions, telling him what to do if he needed anything, but Chris couldn't unravel the words coming from his dad's mouth. He was lost in his own thoughts, knowing his life was about to change (it had changed already, even if he still was too dazed to notice) and that everything was uncertain now. He didn't know where he was going, where he was going to live, if he would be able to get a job… what was he doing?

Chris hopelessly looked at his father as they stood in line to buy his bus ticket and felt himself getting close to a panic attack. Tim must have noticed because he was suddenly pulling Chris aside, walking him towards a wooden bench and forcing him to sit down.

"Everything will be alright, Chris," he said in a calming voice. "You don't belong here. You can have such an amazing life…"

Chris wasn't sure he could, but he nodded anyway, because it felt as if there was no turning back now.

* * *

The buzzing of the engine coming to life was strangely soothing, even though he had thought it would be quite the opposite. He had a seat by the window and he could still see his father standing on the platform, waiting for the bus to leave, waiting to see his son leave the city that had done nothing but hurt him.

Chris took a deep breath, tightening his grip on the ticket that showed him a bit of his destiny. Los Angeles. He was going to Los Angeles.

It hadn't been a thoughtful choice. It was the first bus that left for a city where it wouldn't be the same. His other options had been Idaho and Ohio and he wasn't going to get himself into yet another piece of hell. Los Angeles was the only option he could choose in that moment and, somehow, it made sense.

He pressed his forehead against the cold glass of the window and watched as his father waved goodbye, forcing a smile on his lips. Chris' face was completely expressionless, there was a lump in his throat and the only thing he found himself capable of doing was nodding. Maybe it was a silent thank you, or a silent promise, or a silent acknowledgment that this was the right decision.

And then his father was a figure getting smaller in the distance and Chris soon was further away from home than he had ever been.

The few hours it took him to get to Los Angeles, were the antsiest hours in Chris' life. He was restless and nervous, his head filled with all that could go wrong and all that could go right, and his dreams were getting confused with his fears in a mess that sent shivers all over his body.

He tried to read a book, he grabbed his laptop and tried to type a few words into a document he had been working on, he listened to music, he ate one of the sandwiches his mom had packed for him. Nothing worked to keep his mind of things and deep down inside he wasn't sure that was what he needed to do: he actually needed to make plans. What was he going to do once he stepped into the city?

The first thing was to find a place to stay. A cheap hotel would have to do for now. He mentally counted the money he knew was in his wallet. It wasn't more than a couple of hundred bucks, after what he had left for Hannah. He would have to find a job the next day or he would be starving by the time the weekend came.

The bus came to a stop before Chris had time to prepare himself for it. He immediately felt the vibes of Los Angeles crawling under his skin. It was so different from Clovis. Small towns were quiet and unchanging, but Los Angeles seemed to be changing before his eyes and he had a hard time taking everything in from the window. The buildings, the traffic, the people coming and going…

If he couldn't find his place in a city like this, then where else would he fit?

* * *

Even though LA's sun was bright, things weren't, not for Chris.

He walked around for hours, he got hopelessly lost and he went to three different hotels only to still find himself completely homeless. The first one wasn't cheap enough, the second he could afford, but was full, and the last one was cheap and had rooms available, but Chris was sure he would have to share the bed with rats and cockroaches. He was desperate and exhausted and, by the time the day was over and night started creeping up on him, he was even considering going back to that last hotel.

He ended up in a sort of café that had a sign on the door that said it was open twenty four hours. He slid into one of the booths and dropped his head on the table, groaning to himself. He couldn't believe his bad luck.

Would he have to admit defeat and go back to Clovis? Would he have to crawl back to the supermarket and beg for his job back? Would he have to keep waiting to see if today was the day homophobia and intolerance would end it all?

"What can I get for you?" A voice said and Chris looked up to find a girl with a red apron and big, voluminous black hair watching him, notepad in hand and popping gum, as she arched an eyebrow, expectant.

"Uhm," Chris thought quickly. He hadn't eaten more than his mom's sandwiches all day. "A Diet Coke and a ham and cheese omelet, please?"

The waitress nodded and walked away without another word. Chris sighed and glanced around the café: it was a relatively small place with booths along the walls and a few more tables scattered in the center space. There was a little stage on a corner, with a keyboard on it. It wasn't very crowded and it had a homey air that Chris appreciated it after the day he'd had.

He had his bags in the booth next to him and he had never wanted to shower as much as he did then. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out only to find a message from his mom that did nothing but made him feel worst.

_From: Mom._

_We miss you already but we're so happy you're starting a new life. Call us as soon as you're settled!_

Chris closed his eyes and held his phone a little tighter than necessary, feeling it dig into the skin of his palm. This had been a terrible idea, but his parents were so hopeful, so convinced this was what he needed…

"Hey, everyone! I'm going to play some music now. I hope you enjoy."

The voice startled Chris, causing him to open his eyes as the first notes of a keyboard started playing. He glanced back towards the stage in the corner, which wasn't empty and dark anymore. There was a guy sitting at the keyboard now, with the messiest hair Chris had ever seen. His long, dark curls framed his face and Chris saw a flash of sparkly eyes before the view was blocked by the waitress bringing Chris' food.

The guy started singing softly into the microphone. He had a nice voice, scratchy and soft at the same time and Chris found himself unable to look away.

_Somewhere over the rainbow_  
_Way up high,_  
_There's a land that I heard of_  
_Once in a lullaby._

_Somewhere over the rainbow_  
_Skies are blue,_  
_And the dreams that you dare to dream_  
_Really do come true._

_Someday I'll wish upon a star_  
_And wake up where the clouds are far_  
_Behind me._

In that moment, he paused, frowned and his fingers faltered a bit on the keyboard. "Uh, how does it go? Uhm. Oh, yeah."

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops_  
_Away above the chimney tops_  
_That's where you'll find me._

_Somewhere over the rainbow_  
_Bluebirds fly._  
_Birds fly over the rainbow._  
_Why then, oh why can't I?_

_If happy little bluebirds fly_  
_Beyond the rainbow_  
_Why, oh why can't I?_

The sounds of people around him never stopped. Sounds of forks clicking against plates and drinks being put on tables and conversation and laughter and people coming and going… how could they keep going like that? Chris looked around, confused. How could they keep moving when such beautiful music was happening at the same time? Why couldn't they stop and listen for one minute?

To him, it was like an oasis in the middle of his wasteland of a life. It was soothing and beautiful and for a few seconds, he allowed himself to forget about what he was going through. He forgot about having nowhere to go. He just listened.

* * *

If someone had asked Chris how long he was sitting there listening to the music, he wouldn't have been able to answer. It seemed just a fraction of a second, but the number of songs the boy played told him it had to be at least an hour, if not more. Chris was surprised at the diversity of music the boy could play. He easily changed from classic rock songs to Disney to Etta James, to even Britney Spears.

Everyone around him was still minding their own business, as if the music wasn't even happening. Just a couple of people stopped to clap after every song, but the sound was buried under the noisy clicking of plates.

Then, the boy was standing up and smiling at the unresponsive audience and waving adorably, his curls bounding on his head. "Thanks for having me, guys! See you again soon!"

And he was gone. Chris sighed and reclined back against his seat, suddenly realizing how tired he was. He needed sleep and he had no idea where to go. He had two options, three if he considered the crappy hotel he could afford: staying there and wait to see what the next day would bring, or go outside and find a bench in some quiet street or park where he could lay down and sleep.

He closed his eyes again and wondered if they would kick him out if he took a little nap right there at the table. The best thing he could think of to do was staying there and try to find a job in the morning.

"Hello!"

Chris' eyes snapped open and he jumped a bit, startled. The boy from the stage was standing next to his table and smiling down at him. His smile was unbelievably big and bright, his teeth showing and causing his eyes to scrunch a little bit.

"I… hi?" Chris muttered dumbly, not sure what to do.

"Just wanted to come by and thank you," the boy shrugged, but kept smiling. "I think you were the only one really paying attention to me, so I appreciate it."

"Oh," Chris blushed. He could feel it, the heat coming up his cheeks. "Well, you were great, so…"

"Thanks, man," he nodded and then gestured towards the end of the booth opposite to Chris'. "Do you mind if I sit?"

Chris could barely hide his surprise. "No, no, sit down."

Hazel. Now that he was sitting just across the table, Chris could see that the boy's eyes were hazel and just as sparkly as he had guessed when he was on stage. His hair was really out of control, but somehow Chris thought it suited him, though he didn't really know why.

"What's up with the bags?" The boy asked.

Chris tore his eyes from him to glance at his stuff piled next to him. "I just got to LA today."

"Chasing the big Hollywood dream?"

Chris smiled and looked down. He wasn't used to random chats with strangers. "I'm not sure yet. Maybe more like chasing the big city dream."

The waitress was just passing by and the boy stopped her, grabbing her wrist gently.

"Hey, Annie, could you get us a couple cups of coffee?" He asked, flashing her with another big smile. He turned to Chris for a second. "You want one, right?"

"Yeah, sure," Chris shrugged. Why not? He had nothing but time to kill.

"You want yours decaf, Darren? It's not like you need to be any more hyper than you already are," she said teasingly.

"Oh, come on, I'm not_ that bad_…" The boy, Darren, rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you say, babe," and with that, Annie walked away with her empty tray under her arm.

A moment of silence passed between them. Darren drummed his fingers on the edge of the table while Chris picked at his nails, nervously. This situation felt so out of place for him, so unusual…

"So, I have to be honest," Darren burst, out of nowhere. "I didn't only come over to thank you for listening."

"You… didn't?" Chris tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"No. Dude, you looked miserable as hell and it seemed to me you needed someone to talk to, so…" Darren gestured widely with his hands, as if he was inviting Chris to just open up to him and tell him everything. When Chris only seemed to get more nervous and uncomfortable, Darren sighed and leaned over the table towards him. "Listen, you really don't have to talk to me if you don't want to. You don't know me, I get it. But someone who's chasing a dream, whatever dream that is, doesn't look like someone who's about to cry while listening to one of the most awesome songs in the Mulan soundtrack, and that's exactly what you looked like."

Chris frowned. "Should I feel insulted right now?"

"Of course not," Darren paused for a moment to smile at Annie when she came back with their coffees. He resumed talking when she left. "I can leave you alone if you want. I just thought I'd give it a try, at least."

With a sigh, Chris cupped his coffee in between his hands. The day had been already completely unreal. He had left his family, the one thing that he cared about the most, behind. He had run away from a town that had done nothing but crush him. He had ventured out in a world that he didn't know anything about. Adding a charming stranger to it couldn't hurt, could it?

So before he even realized what he was doing, he opened his mouth and told Darren about spontaneously leaving Clovis, about being worried about his sister's health, about his parents being convinced he would just build a wonderful life from the ground up when in fact he didn't even have a place to stay that night. He told Darren everything, except about the attack and the fear and the hate he had to go through for so many years. He told him everything but the one thing that most people thought was defining. He kept his sexuality and his nightmares to himself.

But Darren was smart and his eyes could look further than just what was in plain sight. He saw secrets and though he couldn't tell exactly what those secrets were, he knew they were deep and maybe even dark. He said nothing, though. That wasn't who he was.

"That's tough, man," he said instead, compassionately. "Sounds like you had a very eventful day."

Chris snorted. His cup of coffee was somehow empty, although he didn't remember drinking it. "Yeah, I guess you could say that," he muttered as he pushed it away.

"So…" Darren did the same and stretched his arms over the table, leaning against them. "What are you going to do now?"

Chris shook his head and felt even more exhausted than before. "I honestly have no idea."

It took just a few seconds of silence before Darren was opening his mouth again. "Well, you could come home with me."

Chris blinked and stared at Darren, wondering if he had heard wrong. "What?"

"I have a spare room," Darren shrugged, and that seemed to be his signature movement. "My roommate moved out a couple of weeks ago and I can't pay the rent on my own. I was supposed to put an ad on the paper, but I always forget and I'm too lazy to interview tons of people anyway."

"Are you even serious right now?" Chris still wasn't sure he understood correctly.

"Yeah, man, I'm serious," Darren sat up straighter. "You need a place to stay and I need a roommate. It's like fucking destiny or something that we met tonight."

Chris wondered if Darren was high or drunk or if he was maybe a figment of his imagination. He was everything but real. He couldn't be.

"You don't even know my name," Chris said.

"Well, you could tell me your name and that would stop being a problem, you know," Darren smirked.

_What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?_ "I'm Chris."

"Awesome, now we're not strangers anymore."

"Aren't you… I don't know, afraid I might rob your apartment or something like that?" Chris had never felt more confused in his life.

"Not really. You look like a good guy," Darren studied him intently, but didn't seem to find anything wrong with him, because he kept smiling. "So, are you coming or not?"

_He could be a psychopath, he could kill you in your sleep, he could kidnap you and sell your organs…_

"Yes. Yes, I'm coming."

_Fuck._

* * *

**So there it is! What did you guys think of it? I can't wait to know if you liked this first chapter!**

**The song Darren sings is, obviously, Somewhere Over the Rainbow from The Wizard of Oz.**

**Next chapter should be up next weekend! Until then, please review with your thoughts about this one!**

**Thanks so much for reading,**

**L.-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys :)**

**I thought some of you may need a little cheering up after last night's episode, so I decided to update a little earlier than planned. I hope it helps!**

**Thanks SO MUCH for the overwhelming amount of reviews so far! You're all so lovely to me every time I publish a new story. Thank you!**

**This chapter is dedicated to my friend, Jeanne. It's her birthday tomorrow!**

**Huge thanks to my wonderful beta who has way too much on her plate and she still makes time to work on my story. She should get an award. Give her all the awards to her now.**

**I own nothing. **

**Anyway, enjoy! **

* * *

Darren's car was a joke with wheels. And it wasn't just that it was probably around fifteen years old, but it was also yellow. Bright yellow, just like a canary.

Chris suddenly forgot about the possibility of Darren being a serial killer and instead contemplated the possibility of dying because of the damn car. It looked about ready to just stop working in the middle of LA traffic and, with Chris' luck, it would probably cause a huge accident and they would all be doomed.

During the drive to Darren's apartment, Chris found out a few things about his new roommate: Darren was twenty four, three years older than Chris, he had grown up in San Francisco and usually worked at nights, playing at cafés and bars, just like he had done that night, so he really didn't make a lot of money. He also auditioned regularly for movies and TV shows. He had gone to college in Michigan and had a degree in acting.

Chris felt like Darren had done so much already, and he wasn't even started. He had worked at a supermarket since he was eighteen and right after high school he had given up on all his dreams. He didn't even know who he was at this point.

He was quiet for a while and Darren seemed to have noticed he was lost in thought, because he let him be. It only took a few more minutes to get to his apartment, anyway.

The building was a bit old and it clearly needed some painting. There was no elevator and Darren lived on the sixth floor, so they climbed the stairs, Chris carrying his bag and suitcase and Darren carrying a guitar case.

"The apartment really isn't much," Darren was saying as they walked down the hall towards apartment 6C. "It has two bedrooms, one bathroom and all of that. It's sort of small, though."

"Don't worry about it," Chris replied, holding the guitar case for a moment so Darren could dig in his own bag and look for his keys. He was just happy he didn't have to sleep in the streets that night.

"Where are these little fuckers? I always lose them, I swear to… Oh, here they are," Darren finally put the right key in the lock and pushed the door open.

The apartment really was small, Chris noticed as soon as they were inside. The kitchen and living room were pretty much mashed together. There was only one window in the far wall and three doors on the left one. It was as boyish as it could get: there was an old box of pizza on the kitchen counter, several beer bottles scattered everywhere, musical instruments laying on pretty much every available surface, a Lord of the Rings poster hanging on the wall next to a bookcase that contained not only a lot of comic books and every single Disney movie in existence, but also a can of Coke, an empty bag of candies and a pair of Superman boxer briefs that Chris hoped were at least clean.

"The rooms are pretty small. Like, tiny. I swear, I feel like Harry Potter trapped in the cupboard sometimes," Darren said as he threw the keys somewhere carelessly. "The bathroom is alright, I guess. Though I need to buy a new shower curtain because the last one caught fire."

Chris turned around to look at him. "How does a shower curtain catch _fire_?"

Darren shrugged. "You don't want to know, man."

Chris kept looking around, awkwardly. "So, uhm… which one would be my room?"

"Oh, yeah, this one," Darren walked towards the door that was closest to them and pushed it open, revealing an empty room. "My roommate took everything with him, so you'll have to get your own furniture when you can. Until then, I guess you could just use the couch. It's really comfortable. Sometimes I end up sleeping there more than in my own bed."

The bedroom was probably not even half the size the one Chris had at his parents' house, but it would have to do. He dropped his stuff on a corner of the floor. The moonlight crept its way inside from the little window and Chris walked over there to see what kind of view he had. It wasn't bad at all. He could see the outline of the city and it was quite nice.

Chris sighed before turning to look at Darren, who was leaning against the doorway. "I guess we should talk about numbers and all of that. I don't have much money right now, but I will go out tomorrow and try to get a job, I…"

"Don't get even more stressed out than you already are, Chris," Darren said, smiling softly. "This month's rent has already been paid, so you have a couple more weeks to find a job and get on your way."

"It isn't fair to you, though, that I get to live here for a few weeks for free," Chris frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "But I'll find a way to pay you back, Darren, I swear…"

Darren crossed the room in two long strides and Chris barely had time to see what was happening before the other boy was wrapping him in his arms and hugging him in a way he had never been hugged in his life. It almost knocked all the air out of his lungs. Chris flinched a bit, unused to the touch and still feeling a bit unsure.

When Darren finally pulled away, Chris' eyes were wide. "W-what was that for?"

"Everyone needs a hug every now and then and, dude, I have no idea what the hell you've been through in your life, but it looks like you need a million of them," Darren patted him on the shoulder. "I'm gonna take a shower. Do whatever you want. This is your house now, too."

And just like that, Darren walked out of the room, as if he hadn't just shaken Chris' entire world.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Chris woke up in a place he wasn't familiar with, swallowing a scream just in time and covered in a cold sweat.

It took him a few seconds to remember where he was, why he was sleeping on a couch instead of in his own bed back home. It took him a terrifying moment to realize the dream he'd just had wasn't real, that he wasn't trapped anymore, that he had escaped.

He pushed the blankets away and stood up on shaky legs, walking to the bathroom by helping himself with his hands on the walls. He splashed cold water on his face and tried to control his breathing. His knuckles turned white from how hard he was gripping the edge of the sink as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.

The nightmare didn't matter. No one was going to find him here in Los Angeles. No one was going to attack Hannah if he was away. It had been his blood in the pavement just a couple of nights ago, not hers. She was okay, sleeping in her bed, safely.

_She's okay, she's okay, she's okay._

He repeated those words to himself as he slid back under the blankets. He held his borrowed pillow to his chest and noticed it was wet from where his tears had spilled.

_She's okay, she's okay, she's okay._

He cried himself to sleep.

* * *

The next time he woke up, the apartment was lightly bathed in the sunlight coming from the window and filled with soft sounds coming from the kitchen. Chris sat up and peeked from over the back of the couch with his eyes still heavy with sleep and saw Darren working at the stove as quietly as he could, barefooted, with his hair even crazier than it had been the night before, wearing a ratty old t-shirt and loose sweatpants.

Chris reached for his cellphone and checked the hour: it was almost 10 AM. He had slept longer than he had planned.

"Oh, hey, you're awake!" Darren said with a bright smile, as he turned around to walk to the fridge and noticed Chris sitting up on the couch. "Just in time for breakfast. I hope you like scrambled eggs!"

"Yeah, I do," Chris answered, rubbing a hand over his face. "Do you need any help?"

"No, man, that's fine," Darren pointed at him with his spatula. "How did you sleep?"

Chris decided not to mention the nightmare he had. He was already used to them anyway. "You were right. The couch really is comfortable."

"Told you!" Darren's smile went even bigger. "I hope you like cuddles, dude, because you're gonna have to share it."

Chris was grateful that Darren had turned back to the stove, because he felt his eyes going wide at his words. This had to be the very first time another guy even mentioned the possibility of any sort of physical contact with him. Back in Clovis, no one even bumped his fist or shook his hand.

"Breakfast's ready! Grab a plate!" Darren announced and Chris took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen area.

Soon they both had their scrambled eggs and their cups of coffee (no milk, the one in the fridge had expired two weeks ago) and they leaned against the counter side by side (there wasn't enough room for a table and chairs, so they had to be practical).

"Any big plans for today?" Darren asked with his mouth full.

Chris passed him the kitchen cloth so he could wipe the eggs that had fallen on his chin. "Looking for a job, I guess."

"What kind of job are you looking for?" Darren tilted his head to the side, curious.

"I'm not sure, yet. I think I'll take whatever I get initially and then I'll try to figure out what I want to do," Chris answered, sighing.

"It's a good plan," Darren shoved the rest of his eggs into his mouth and put the plate into the sink. "I have an audition this afternoon."

"That's great!" Chris exclaimed with sincerity. "What for?"

"CSI," Darren grinned. "Cross your fingers and I may get to play a dead body in the morgue!"

Chris bit his lip. Darren's enthusiasm for pretty much everything was so unusual for him. "I'm sure you'll be amazing."

"Thanks, man," Darren was still smiling. Chris couldn't remember seeing someone who smiled that much ever before. "Hey, I play at this pub called Hamlet on Wednesday nights. Would you like to come? Some of my friends may be there. It would be good for you to start meeting people."

The idea of meeting people didn't exactly excite Chris right now. Large groups of people meant the possibility of there being at least one judgmental asshole who might make all this escaping completely pointless.

He wasn't embarrassed to admit he was scared. Not to himself, at least. After twenty one years of being chased, humiliated and beaten because of who he was, Chris had the right to be cautious.

But Darren was smiling, always smiling, always so warm and inviting and almost adorable with that unruly mop of hair and Chris wondered if someone, anyone, in the history of humanity had been able or would be able to ever say no to him.

"Sure, it sounds fun."

Darren patted his shoulder before walking towards his room to get dressed and Chris felt proud of himself for not even flinching when Darren's hand touched the still bruised skin he hid under his clothes.

* * *

Chris lost count of how many places he went to that day, of how many people he talked to, how many managers' hands he shook. No one gave him a concrete answer, but at least he felt like he had gone out and done something to get his life on track. By the time the afternoon was coming to an end, he decided to stop by a grocery store that was just around the corner from Darren's apartment and get some stuff to fill the fridge and the cupboards. He wondered how long it had been since Darren had gone out to buy food and if he had been living on pizza leftovers for a while.

Considering he was exempt from paying rent until he got a job, he thought the least he could do was to make sure they both had food. He didn't know what Darren liked, exactly, so he hoped he had made good choices.

When he made it the six flights of stairs up to the apartment, he had to balance the bags in one arm so he could dig in his pocket and fish out the key Darren had given him that same morning. He finally managed to push the door open and walked into the apartment, gently kicking it so it would close behind him.

Darren was sprawled on the couch with a bowl of cereal precariously balancing on his chest and his laptop on his stomach. He was wearing black-rimmed glasses and frowning, deep in concentration.

"Hey, I'm back," Chris announced, because Darren didn't seem to have heard him come in. Chris stood uneasily next to the couch. "Uhm. Is everything alright?" He had the feeling it wasn't usual for Darren to look so serious.

"No. This is the eleventh fucking Solitaire game I've played and I can't win," Darren huffed in frustration. "It shouldn't be so damn hard to find the queen of hearts, Chris." He looked up, his eyes big behind his glasses, his bottom lip slightly jutted out in a pout.

The word _adorable_ flashed in front of Chris' eyes in neon lights a few times.

"Do I smell food?" Darren perked up.

Chris chuckled as he nodded. "I figured since I'm kind of invading your apartment without paying rent for a couple of weeks that I should at least make sure the fridge is full."

"Oh, man, I'm gonna love being your roommate," Darren said, as he shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth with his left hand, because he was still clicking on the cards with the right one.

Chris rolled his eyes, not sure what to say, and turned around to walk to the kitchen. "So, how did your audition go? Are you going to jump into fame by playing a decomposing corpse or not?"

"I don't know. They said they would call," Darren shut his computer after he lost another game and sat up, putting it on the coffee table. "What about you? Did you have any luck?"

"I hope so," Chris sighed, as he put a carton of eggs and a bottle of milk in the fridge. "I mean, a few of them seemed interested…"

"I'm sure you'll get a job soon," Darren went to the sink to wash his empty bowl. "In the meantime, just try to enjoy life a little. It looks like you need it."

Chris wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that Darren seemed to be able to read him like an open book without really knowing him. How could Darren have the right thing to say on the tip of his tongue every time?

Chris smiled but looked away, feeling self-conscious. "So… do you need help with that Solitaire game?"

Darren dried his hands on a kitchen cloth and then dropped it on the counter. "Nah, it frustrated me so… oh, wait, dude! I just found my Ninja Turtles DVD! It's been missing for months. Do you want to watch it with me?"

Chris didn't know exactly how he had managed to end up with a guy like Darren as a roommate, but he had to admit, he couldn't be more grateful.

* * *

That night, when Chris walked into Hamlet, just a few steps behind Darren, he instantly felt weird and out of place. It was nothing like the café where he had met his roommate the previous night. Hamlet was a pub. Music was loud, lights were almost completely out and the bar was busy. The walls were all made of brick and, maybe, by the light of day it would have looked cozy to him, but not now.

Chris had never really been a night person. Considering where he had grew up and the type of people he had been surrounded by, going out to bars or parties or any place of that sort hadn't never really been an option. Instead, he had stayed home, spending time with Hannah or working extra shifts at the supermarket.

He felt a pressure on his arm and immediately flinched, out of instinct. He turned around brusquely to find Darren standing behind him with a frown.

"Uhm, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you…" Darren said, a bit hesitant. "I just saw an empty table near the stage."

"Oh. Right. Let's go," Chris nodded and followed him to the back of the pub, where a little stage was waiting for Darren. There was a booth next to it and he slipped into the seat easily.

"I'll go let them know I'm here and get something to drink. Would you like a beer?" Darren asked, leaning closer so Chris could hear him over the music.

"Uhm, no, I don't drink beer, thanks," Chris shook his head.

"What do you like, then?" Darren insisted.

"Just water, please."

"Chris…"

"Okay, Diet Coke. That'll be fine."

Darren rolled his eyes and a mischievous smile appeared on his lips. "Fine, I'll get you Diet Coke."

He walked away before Chris even had time to stop him or tell him he would better get his own drink himself. Chris watched him go. Darren paused several times in his way to the bar to talk to people he knew. He seemed to be in his comfort zone when he was surrounded by people, somehow. He seemed to have such a sociable nature and Chris wondered how he did it. He wondered what kind of experiences Darren had had in his life, how it felt not to be the outcast, the one everyone hated and avoided.

He wondered what it was like to live without a constant fear sending shivers down his spine.

It took a good fifteen minutes for Darren to return, but he slid into the booth next to him with a wide smile, pushing a glass of Diet Coke with a slice of lemon on the edge toward him.

"Here you go," he said as he took a sip of his beer.

Chris decided he didn't trust him. "This isn't Diet Coke, is it?"

"Of course it is!" Darren exclaimed, offended.

Chris hesitantly took the glass to his lips and tasted it.

"… it has rum, too, but it's Diet Coke," Darren admitted. Chris glared at him. "Oh, come on. Relax. It's good, right? It tastes good!"

Chris sighed and slumped back against the seat. "Yeah, it's good." He looked around the pub. "So, when are you playing?"

"Half an hour or so," Darren answered, grinning triumphantly at him. "I think you… oh, hey!"

Three people had approached the table and were already greeting Darren with half hugs and fist bumps. Chris awkwardly waited to be introduced to Darren's friends, but soon he was being dragged into hugs and being given pats on the back, too.

"These are Joey, Lauren and Dylan," Darren said, pointing at each of them. "This is Chris, my new roommate."

Chris was afraid he would be completely out of place once they all started talking, but it wasn't like that at all. They kept including him in every conversation and asking him about his plans in LA. Darren was actually a lot of help, guiding the topics to happier places when they started getting too close to things Chris wasn't ready to talk about with anyone.

The pub had gotten a lot more crowded by the time Darren finally went upstage. It seemed so easy for him, to just stand there, exposed, talking to an audience and making jokes. He didn't even flinch or looked embarrassed when he forgot the lyrics to one of his songs. Chris had the feeling it wasn't an unusual occurrence.

Darren was about to finish his set when Chris realized he was laughing and talking to Lauren as if they had been friends since they were kids. Darren caught his eye from the stage and winked at him, knowingly.

Chris felt a lump in his throat, and all he could do was mouth _thank you_ back at him.

* * *

It wasn't until almost two weeks later that Chris finally got a job.

There was Starbuck-ish place ten streets away from Darren's apartment and half the way into downtown, called Caffeine Fix. He had already been in several coffee shops like this one, without any results, and he was a little discouraged as he pushed the door open and ignored the queue of people waiting to place their order, walking directly to the counter.

"Hey, you, smartass, there's a line!" A barista said, and even though her choice of words seemed a little harsh, her tone was actually quite friendly.

"I know, I'm not here to have coffee," Chris answered. "I'd like to talk to the manager to see if maybe there's a position open for me to work here…"

The barista (a girl with bright blue eyes, lips curled into a playful smirk and brown hair) looked Chris up and down. "The manager had a baby last weekend and it's been chaos since then. I guess I'm in charge now, since I've been working here the longest…"

"Oh," Chris wasn't sure what to say. "Uhm, so…"

"Have you ever worked in a coffee shop before?" She asked, not even looking at the impatient customers waiting to be served.

"No. I've worked in a supermarket in…"

"Excuse me, miss, can I get a latte, please?" A man interrupted, tapping his foot on the floor rather rudely.

The girl rolled her eyes. "Sure, sir, in just a minute." She turned back to Chris. "If you can start now and you are clever enough to count change, the job is yours."

Chris nodded his head immediately and followed the girl behind the counter when she made a gesture for him to do so. "Thank you so much. My name is…"

"No time for names," she said, as she moved to where the coffee machines were.

It took them almost an hour until the flow of customers finally slowed. Chris managed to make very few mistakes while putting the orders into the computer and sighed in relief when the girl didn't even frown at him when he had to ask something he didn't know.

When the last customer left with his coffee, a cup appeared on the counter in front of Chris.

"I think I like you," she said, watching him carefully. Chris smiled and grabbed the coffee, gratefully. "My name's Ashley."

"I'm Chris," He offered his hand to her and Ashley took it, tilting her head to the side.

"You're gay, aren't you?" She asked.

Chris let go of her hand as if he had been burnt. "I…"

"I'm not asking because I have something against gay people, I'm asking because I don't want to go all flirty and waste my best moves and lines with someone who won't be able to appreciate what a catch I am," Ashley explained, stealing a chocolate chip cookie from the glass jar on the counter.

Chris blinked, feeling slightly confused. "I… yeah, I am."

"Glad we cleared that up," Ashley nodded solemnly. "Because now I can ask your opinion on that blonde guy sitting with his laptop at that table over there by the stairs. What do you think? Is he cute or is he a glorified Nick Carter?"

Gaping a little, not sure what was going on and since when he had chats about hot guys with a crazy barista, Chris took a moment to answer. "He definitely has the boy band look," he said. "And blondes aren't really my type."

"Oh, really? What's your type, then?"

Chris smiled bashfully, but couldn't answer, because a part of him was suddenly thinking of messy dark curls and expressive eyebrows and he realized he couldn't afford to think that way.

* * *

"You make me feel like we're living in a _Friends_ episode."

Chris snorted.

"No, man, I'm serious," Darren insisted, lifting his arms a little for balance. "This is awesome."

"You're the only person in the world who would find something positive about having to carry a bed up six flights of stairs," Chris replied, a little breathless. "Please don't start yelling _pivot_. The neighbors are already mad at you for roller-skating around the apartment at three in the morning last week."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I found my rollers and I hadn't seen those things since 1998 and I got very excited, okay?" Darren pushed as hard as he could to try and fit the bed spring in the next hallway.

"And you can still use things that fit over twelve years ago?" Chris quirked an eyebrow, incredulous. "You haven't changed your shoe size since then?"

"Hey, my feet are of a perfectly normal size and so it's everything else, thank you very much," Darren muttered and Chris was grateful the bed was actually blocking him from his roommate's sight because he was sure his face reddened instantly.

Chris pulled on his end of the bed to try and get it to turn around the next corner while making sure Darren didn't crush him against the wall. He had gotten his first paycheck the day before and, after Darren rejected the money for two hours, saying Chris needed to buy a bunch of stuff before worrying about rent, they had gone bed shopping.

"I almost forgot to ask you," Darren said when they were almost at their floor. "Would you like to go out on a date?"

Chris couldn't make his hands (or brain) work any longer and dropped the bed, which landed right on his feet. He cursed under his breath.

"Oh, man, are you okay?" Darren asked, peeking from the other end, frowning.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine…" Because fuck, he didn't care about the throbbing pain, not now, not when Darren had said those words, _ohmygod_ _did he really ask me out on a date?_ "W-what were you saying?"

"A date," Darren repeated. "If you're not doing anything else tonight, I mean…"

"No, no, I'm free. Free as a bird," Chris answered and he couldn't tell if he was breathing or not, if he was blinking or not.

Darren smiled brightly. "Awesome. Now let's get this done, I have a sudden need to watch _Friends_…"

Chris' stomach started twisting in nerves and excitement.

* * *

**So there it is! I hope it helped cheer you guys up a little.**

**Please share your thoughts with me, leave a review! I promise I don't bite :P!**

**If you want to comment the episode, please do so very respectfully.**

**My exams start this week, so I may be MIA for a bit, but I'm still going to try and update once a week. I ask you to be patient with me, though. You guys know I'd update a lot more often if I could!**

**Thanks so much for reading!**

**L.-**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone!**

**I hope you are all doing wonderful. I've had a test this morning (yes, on a Saturday. Yes, I know, it's very cruel) and now that I have a little bit of time, I've decided to give you a new chapter :)**

**Thank you SO much for all the amazing reviews you've sent so far! Please keep them coming! They really encourage me to keep writing :)**

**Hugs need to be sent to my wonderful beta, Wutif.**

**I own nothing, as usual.**

* * *

Saying Chris was freaking out didn't even begin to explain how he was feeling. This date thing was so… so unexpected. And yet, deep down inside, he had to admit to himself that he had wanted it pretty much since Darren had sat down in front of him and introduced himself.

He hadn't really thought dating Darren was even a faint possibility, though. He was too charming, too gentle, too caring, too wonderful, to think he'd be interested in him. Guys like him didn't usually exist in Chris' world. But here he was, his amazing roommate with the smile that could make the sun look dull, asking him on a date.

Chris had to pinch his arm several times and make sure he hadn't hit his head and hallucinated the whole thing.

"Chris! Are you ready? We're gonna be late!" Darren called from the living room.

Chris took one last deep breath before pulling his bedroom door open. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"Great," Darren grinned happily. He looked him up and down and his eyebrows wiggled in appreciation. "Damn, Colfer, you can rock those skinny jeans like a pro."

Biting his lip and doing his best to hold back his blush, Chris gave himself a mental pat on the back. "Thank you. I like your cardigan."

Darren was wearing a pair of jeans, brown shoes, a white V-neck and a red cardigan. The combination looked absolutely deadly on him and Chris could barely take his eyes off him.

"Shall we?" Darren said, grabbing his car keys. "I made reservations at a new Italian place that a few friends recommended to me. They said the lasagna is fucking delicious."

"Sounds great," Chris answered, following Darren out of the apartment.

Tonight, not even Darren's ridiculous yellow car seemed ridiculous. Tonight, everything looked absolutely beautiful in Chris' eyes. Darren put some music on and moved his head in time with it, humming under his breath as he drove through the LA traffic.

Chris was debating whether he should dare to reach and grab Darren's free hand in his (and he really, really wanted to) when Darren stopped the car in front of a building in a side street that didn't look as busy as the avenue they had just left. Chris looked around, confused, before turning back to Darren, who was focused on sending a text message.

"This doesn't look like a restaurant…" Chris commented, curiously. "Did your friends give you the wrong address?"

"No, we're picking up the girls first," Darren replied as if it should be obvious.

Chris blinked, feeling lost. "Girls?"

"Yeah," Darren was distracted, still fiddling with his phone. "I thought we would come across better if we'd picked them up instead of meeting them at the restaurant…"

Chris stayed silent, processing the information, feeling his heart breaking a little as he began to understand…

"By the way, thanks so much for doing this for me, dude," Darren said, finally turning to look at him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I've been trying to convince this girl to go out with me for weeks and she would only agree if we had a double date with her best friend."

Chris could hardly breathe from the pain in his chest, but was able to hide the fact that he wanted to start screaming in frustration.

"But don't worry, she told me her friend is really funny and pretty too, so… oh, there they are!" Darren's eyes moved to a point behind Chris, an enormous smile spreading over his face.

Two girls were coming down the stairs of the building, both wearing cute dresses and talking quietly to each other as they approached the car. One had red hair and looked as if every time she took a step, her hair turned into a flame. The other one had blonde curly hair. Those were all the details Chris noticed before they climbed into the car. His brain couldn't really take anything else in.

For the first time since he had arrived at LA, Chris felt he needed to escape from the one person who had managed to make him feel safe.

He wanted to run away from Darren.

* * *

The restaurant was really nice and cozy, but Chris hated it. He hated it because he didn't want to be there, because he wasn't supposed to be sitting here in front of Darren with a girl by his side trying to get his attention. He wasn't supposed to watch as Darren offered Tara, the girl with the red hair, some of his lasagna. He wasn't supposed to have to pretend this was okay.

But, at the same time, he felt this was mostly his fault. He had never told Darren he was gay. Most people actually guessed that about him, but… Darren could be the most oblivious of creatures. Sometimes, Chris actually believed Darren lived almost entirely in a fantasy world inside his own head.

Tara's friend, Liz, kept talking to him, flirting and using any excuse to touch his arm or his hand or even his hair. She was pretty, of course she was, but… Chris couldn't do it. He couldn't pretend to be into her.

He had never felt so uncomfortable before, and he had grown up in Clovis.

"You're really quiet, Chris," Tara commented, tilting her head to look at him. "And you haven't even touched your food. Is it not good?"

Chris looked down at his plate. He didn't even remember what he had ordered. He had pointed at the first thing he saw in the menu when their waitress came because he was too busy trying not to stare at Darren with his eyes full of betrayal.

"I'm not really very hungry," he said with what he hoped seemed a sincere, apologetic smile.

"Would you like to try some of mine?" Liz asked, leaning closer to him, her hand lightly touching his knee. "It's really good."

Chris felt asphyxiated. "Uhm, no, I'm fine. Thanks."

"Maybe he's just anxious to get to the dessert," Tara muttered, causing Liz to giggle, and her tone made Chris think she wasn't exactly talking about a piece of tiramisu.

And then he felt her hand moving from his knee up to his thigh, before Liz breathed right into his ear. "I'm quite anxious about that myself…"

Chris stood up so abruptly that he almost knocked the chair down. The other three looked at him with wide eyes. He was panting, his self-control now completely shattered.

"I-I need to use the restroom, excuse me…" and, without another word, he rushed across the restaurant towards the men's room.

He was grateful when he pushed the door open and found that there wasn't anyone else there. He walked to the sink and leaned his hands on the counter, breathing hard and trying to calm down. He splashed some cold water on his face, forcing himself to think. He had to do something. He couldn't deal with this. But he couldn't possibly just leave them all there at the restaurant, could he? Wouldn't Darren hate him? And how the hell would he get home? He had no idea where they were, LA was still so new to him…

He was grabbing a paper towel when the door opened again, but he kept his face down to avoid having to deal with strangers looking at him weirdly. But when he heard Darren's voice, he actually wished he had run away from the restaurant instead of hiding out in the bathroom.

"What happened out there?" Darren asked, confused. He took a few steps closer. "Are you okay, man?"

Chris nodded, not trusting his voice.

"Are you sure? You don't look very good," Darren grabbed his arm and turned him gently to examine his face. "You're paler than usual."

"I'm okay," Chris said, avoiding Darren's eyes. "Really."

"Liz is sort of freaking out," he informed him, pursing his lips together. "She thinks you don't like her..."

"I don't," Chris choked out.

Darren let go of his arm. "You don't? Why not? She's cute."

"Because she's a girl."

Darren paused for a second, his face expressionless and Chris started wondering if he'd be homeless again by the end of the night.

"Dude, why didn't you tell me?" Darren said in a rush of breath.

Chris hugged himself tightly. "I don't just go around announcing I'm gay."

Darren stayed silent, staring at him as if he was considering this new information. Chris decided to make things easier for both of them.

"Look, I get it and you don't have to worry about anything," he said, shakily. "I'll go to your apartment now and grab my stuff and by the time you get home, I'll be gone…"

That seemed to startle Darren enough to react. "What? _Why_?"

Chris seemed even more confused than he was. "Because I'm sure you don't want to live with a fag?"

"Hey!" Darren practically yelled, pointing a finger at him, almost angrily. "Don't use that word."

Chris' eyes widened and suddenly found himself wrapped in Darren's arms, being squeezed tightly.

"You're a fool. You should've told me," he whispered right in his ear, causing a shiver to travel down Chris' spine. "Tonight must have been so awkward for you…"

"Yeah, well…" Chris didn't know what to say. Out of all the reactions he might have expected from Darren, a hug wasn't even on the list. But, once again, Darren had proved that he was sort of a surprising, unique human being.

When Darren pulled away, he was frowning. "Wait. If you're gay… then why did you agree to come on a date?"

Chris' heart started beating faster. He couldn't tell Darren he had a crush on him. He couldn't make things even more awkward. Not when Darren was so obviously straight…

So he shrugged and he hoped that was enough.

Darren didn't question him any further. That was another of the wonderful things about him.

* * *

They were sitting next to each other on the couch, eating Chinese food straight from the take out containers the next night when Darren broke through and brought Chris' walls down.

"That's why you left Clovis, isn't it?" He asked, out of nowhere. "You were having a hard time being yourself there?"

Bruises. Kicks. Blood. Pain.

"Yes," Chris answered quietly, not looking away from his food.

Darren rested his head on Chris' shoulder and didn't say another word until they finished having dinner.

* * *

He could feel the cold, dirty pavement under his face and the rain pelting down on him. He could hear the insults and the screams, but it took a while for him to open his eyes and really see what was going on.

They had gotten tired of beating him and they had moved on to the next target. Her screams and cries for help were so loud and desperate that Chris was sure they were going to perforate his eardrum.

He saw blonde hair and a hand trying to reach him, looking for comfort, looking for rescue…

Hannah.

He tried to move, tried to attract their attention, tried to yell at them, he tried to save her.

He was paralyzed. She kept screaming. There was even more blood and this time it didn't come from him…

"Chris!"

His eyes snapped open but he couldn't see. He was blind, blind to this world and only capable of seeing his little sister going through the same pain he had gone through. He was only capable of seeing her suffer and feeling helpless…

And then he realized he was screaming and crying and shaking so hard the entire bed was trembling.

And that the voice that had called his name wasn't Hannah's.

"Ssh, Chris, it's alright, it's alright…" Darren said soothingly. Somehow, Chris' face was pressed against Darren's shoulder and the older man's stubble was scratchy against his skin, unexpectedly comforting. Darren had his arms around him and he was holding him close, as if he was afraid Chris would fall apart if he let go. "It was just a dream. Whatever it was, it was just a dream."

Chris clung to him as the sobs threatened to break him completely into pieces. Darren rocked him back and forth softly, resting his head on top of his and rubbing circles on the small of his back.

"It was just a dream," he repeated.

Chris shivered, knowing it had been a memory, too.

Darren held him for what felt like hours, making shushing noises every time Chris tensed in his arms. Finally Chris' sobs turned into hiccups and, after a little while, they stopped. He pulled away, a bit embarrassed at the mess he had made of Darren's shirt.

"I'm sorry," he said and his voice was hoarse and unrecognizable.

"Don't," Darren smiled sweetly. "It's okay. I can stay with you until you fall asleep if you want. Or I can sleep here with you. I'll bring a mattress and a pillow if you don't want to share the bed…"

Chris shook his head, swallowing and wiping the tear tracks from his face. "You don't have to. I'm fine."

"Would you like some water? Tea? Anything?" Darren brushed Chris' hair away from his forehead and Chris couldn't help but lean a little bit into the touch. Darren smiled even more, with his lips closed and his eyes bright, and moved his hand from his hair to his cheek, where he cupped his face gently. "Just tell me what I can do for you."

Chris closed his eyes and willed the images to go away, to stop haunting him. "You've done enough. Thank you, Darren."

Darren stood up and carefully nudged Chris to his back again and then tucked him in as if he were a child. "You know I'm just on the other side of the wall. If you need anything…"

Still embarrassed, Chris only nodded and snuggled back against his pillow, hoping the rest of the night would just fly by, even though he wasn't looking forward to the morning, when he would have to face Darren, who might ask questions that he still didn't want to answer.

Darren walked out of the room slowly, giving him one last, little smile and leaving the door slightly ajar and the light in the living room on, so it could creep through the crack. Chris was sure he even thought to check for monsters under the bed just to lighten the mood, but Chris knew there weren't any there. They had nested in his mind and he knew Darren wouldn't be able to scare them away.

* * *

Chris walked into Caffeine Fix with barely enough time to slip his red apron on before his shift started the next morning. Ashley frowned at him from where she was leaning on the counter.

"You look like crap," she said as a greeting. Chris rolled his eyes at her, but his face was completely humorless. "Is Mr. Oblivious giving you trouble again? What did he do now?"

"Nothing," Chris answered in a monotone.

"Oh no, he must've done something for you to look like that," Ashley insisted with a smirk, poking at his ribs. Chris flinched and she got serious, watching him closely. "Seriously, what's wrong, babe?"

Chris sighed and leaned against the counter next to her. "Have you ever wanted to forget something but you can't and it haunts you all the time and you feel like there's no way of getting rid of it?"

Ashley looked completely puzzled. Chris shook his head lightly as a customer made her way into the coffee shop.

"Never mind."

* * *

There was a laundry room in the building's basement (Darren's eyes had gone wide when Chris told him he was going downstairs to do some laundry, as if he had never, ever in his life heard of such a place) and when Chris went down the stairs with a basket full of clothes and a box of detergent, Darren trailed behind him like a lost puppy, claiming he had to see it for himself.

"Dude, I've lived here for two years. You can't tell me there's a laundry room in the basement because I won't believe you and I… oh, whoa, look, there's a laundry room in the basement!"

So Chris started separating his clothes as Darren sat on top of one of the washing machines, the one with the big "Not Working" sign stuck to the lid, with his guitar and quietly played and hummed as he kept Chris company.

It was Thursday, the only day off Chris had from work and he was tired. He was having trouble sleeping since the nightmare, scared of his dreams, scared of waking up crying again and finding himself wrapped in Darren's arms. It was starting to be obvious, though, because dark marks were settling under his eyes.

Darren rested his head against the wall and watched Chris quietly, but Chris could feel his gaze glued to him and it made him uneasy. His roommate hadn't mentioned anything about that night, but Chris could hear the questions buzzing in his head even when they were in different rooms. And he wanted to tell Darren, he wanted to trust him and tell him everything and open up to him but… he just couldn't.

The silence between them, barely interrupted by the soft strumming of the guitar, made Chris nervous, so he decided to say something, anything.

"I was thinking of ordering pizza tonight, would you…"

"We need to talk," Darren interrupted, putting the guitar down next to him.

Chris froze. Those were never good words to hear, right? And Darren was never as serious as he looked now. "I… okay."

Darren just stared at him for a couple of really long seconds and Chris was glad he was holding a pair of jeans so that Darren couldn't see his slightly shaking hands. "You've been really tense since that night you woke up screaming…"

Chris avoided his eyes. "Please don't think I'm weird or anything."

"No, hey, I don't," Darren assured him, smiling softly. "I'm just worried about you, you know."

Chris held his breath. "You are?"

"Of course, dude, you're my friend!"

_Friend. Friend. Friend. Stop your stupid crush right now. He said friend. He's straight._ "Well, you don't have to worry…"

"I was just thinking that maybe you need to keep your mind busy," Darren shrugged. "When something bothers me, I usually do that and it works. You only hang out with me at the apartment or go to one of my gigs or go to work. And don't tell me a guy as fucking brilliant as you only aspires to work at a coffee shop because I don't buy that bullshit, Chris."

Chris' eyes went wide as he finally looked up at Darren.

"And don't look so surprised. You are _brilliant_." Darren hopped off the washing machine. "You're basically living in a city where you can be anything you want. What do you want to be, Chris?"

For a moment, Chris allowed himself to fantasize about the life he had never dared to imagine. He imagined a life where he woke up every morning feeling energetic after a good night sleep, a life where he had a good job, a job he loved and that helped him to earn enough money to help with Hannah's medical bills. But mostly, he imagined being happy.

"I like writing," he said suddenly, surprising himself at his own confession. "I… I would like to be a writer. Maybe write screenplays. Maybe even act in a movie I write…"

Darren's brilliant smile appeared on his face. He put a hand on Chris' shoulder and squeezed gently. "Then start writing."

Chris swallowed, nervously. "W-what if I'm not good enough?"

Darren actually chuckled at that. "I have the feeling you're good at everything you do."

That sounded a bit flirty, but Chris attributed that to wishful thinking, so he ignored the way Darren had said it and instead smiled a bit. "How come you have so much confidence in me?"

"Well, dude, for instance, I'd like to see you being happy and if writing makes you happy then go ahead and do it. And if you need to improve, you'll improve by writing some more," Darren grinned wickedly then, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "And, besides, if you write a movie and someone buys the rights for it, I may get a job out of it."

"Oh, so you just want me to write a character for you!" Chris playfully smacked him with the jeans he was still holding and Darren ducked just in time. "I knew you weren't saying it just to be supportive!"

Darren started running around the laundry room, protecting his head with his arms as Chris chased him, both laughing, the mood a lot lighter between them than it had been for a while. But then Darren slipped in a little pool of water coming from the broken washing machine and fell, almost hitting the back of his head against the floor. Chris didn't have time to stop, so he tripped over Darren's feet, falling on top of him and leaving the older boy breathless.

"Ouch," Darren hissed, but his hands flew to Chris' sides to hold him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry," Chris said, lifting his head to make sure Darren was fine, too. But then their faces were so close that his brain stopped working properly, choosing to short-circuit instead. He could move three inches forward and kiss Darren and know what it was like to have another boy's lips pressed against his, to know what Darren tasted like, to know what…

"My butt is wet," Darren muttered, frowning.

"Oh," Chris whispered, because he couldn't say anything else. And then he noticed Darren was tilting his head to the side, staring at him questioningly, so he rushed to stand up and offer his hand to him to help him up. "There should be a sign that says that running around the laundry room isn't allowed."

Darren tried to twist his body so he could look at his own butt. "Oh, fuck, it looks like I peed myself."

Chris forced his wildly beating heart to slow down and turned around to keep sorting his clothes into the washing machine. "You should probably go upstairs and change."

"Yeah, I'll see you later, man."

And with that, Darren left, leaving him alone with his thoughts and a pair of lips that ached because they had been so, so close to Darren's, but they would never know what it felt like to press against them.

* * *

Apparently Ashley's and Darren's minds were somehow connected because that weekend she told Chris something that sounded slightly familiar.

"You need to keep yourself busy, Colfer."

Ashley's idea, though, wasn't as life defining as Darren's: she asked him to go with her to the movies and maybe grab dinner somewhere after and Chris agreed, because except for Darren's gigs he hadn't been out and about LA and he wanted to start doing all the normal things he hadn't been able to do back in Clovis.

So on Saturday, Chris got dressed and grabbed his keys, coming out of his room and into the living room, where Darren was listening to music on the couch, ready to leave.

Darren's eyes lit up immediately. "Oh, where are we going?"

Chris blinked in confusion. "Uhm. I'm going to the movies with Ashley?"

Darren's smile turned into a pout. "You're going out without me?"

"Don't you play at Maggiano's on Saturday nights?" Chris asked, equally confused.

"Yeah, well. I thought you might want to come with me and then we could maybe go somewhere afterward. Joey is going, too…" After a second, Darren shrugged and his attention returned to his iPod, though Chris thought his shoulders looked a bit tense. "But hey, it's nice that you have a friend, so… have fun with her. You can always stop by so I can meet her."

"I'll talk to her and I'll text you if we do," Chris smiled at him before walking to the door. He waved briefly at Darren before shutting it behind him.

Darren frowned when he was alone and turned the music off, feeling slightly weird and not sure why.

* * *

With a long sigh, Chris dropped his cellphone on the coffee table and let his head fall back against the couch as he stared at the ceiling. But his view was almost immediately interrupted when Darren stood behind the couch and looked down at him, his messy curls falling onto his face.

"You miss them, don't you?"

"Always," Chris answered. He called his parents almost every day and after assuring them he was doing well in the city, he talked to Hannah for at least twenty minutes. But phone calls weren't the same as having her close and seeing her and hugging her.

"What if you take a weekend off and go visit them?" Darren suggested, leaning his forearms against the back of the couch, one on each side of Chris' head, which caused their faces to be too close, again.

Chris swallowed, both because of his friend's suggestion and his proximity. "I'm not sure I can…"

Darren didn't need to hear the entire story or a lot more words to understand what Chris meant. He nodded thoughtfully, before he seemed to come up with an idea. "What if they come here?"

Chris blinked up at him. "Here?"

"Yeah! I'm sure your parents want to see where you're living and you could show them around!" Darren's voice was so enthusiastic that a smile started tugging at Chris' lips. "They could come over for lunch or something and we could cook something and I could meet them! It would be so awesome!"

Chris chuckled. "You know, that's actually a good idea, and it's always nice for Hannah to go out and not be stuck in such a boring routine. I could take her to so many places…"

"Call them!" Darren exclaimed, pulling away from the couch to start jumping around the room. "Call them and ask them if they'd like to come!"

Chris' heart got so warm that he was surprised it didn't start burning through his shirt.

* * *

"You know…" Ashley said during their lunch break the next day, after Chris told her Darren had come up with the idea of inviting his family to their apartment and that his parents had immediately agreed. She pointed at him with her sandwich. "I have to meet this Darren guy. I'm starting to like him."

"A week ago you refused to call him by his name," Chris rolled his eyes and took a sip of Diet Coke.

"Yeah, well, still," Ashley answered, shrugging. "Too bad he's straight."

Chris' sigh was intense. He frowned down at his own sandwich. "Yeah, too bad."

"… do you think you can introduce me? Is he my type?" Ashley asked, leaning closer and speaking in a confidential tone.

Chris just threw a napkin at her and changed the subject.

* * *

Darren was always buzzing with energy, but the morning the Colfer family was supposed to arrive was a whole new level of hyper.

"Darren, it's really not necessary to go all crazy with the cleaning. Just make sure there's no underwear hanging from the bookshelves like the day I moved in," Chris said with a smirk as he patted the cushions on the couch and looked at Darren, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor and trying to deduce how to put the pieces of the vacuum together.

"No, dude, we have to do this right," Darren insisted, staring down at a nozzle as if he had never seen a thing like it before. "We don't want them to think you're not living in a decent place or something."

"They're just glad I'm here," Chris said, kneeling next to him and hooking the nozzle to the hose.

"You're my hero," Darren's hazel eyes fixed on him, wide and adorable.

"It's so easy to be a hero for you," Chris muttered, chuckling. "Well. They should be here in an hour or so. Put that vacuum back where you found it and stop worrying."

Darren pouted but immediately forgot about the vacuum and jumped to his feet. "Okay! Let's start with lunch then!"

"I was thinking we could order from that place we tried out a couple weeks ago…" Chris said, already walking to the fridge, where they kept the menus with magnets.

"Oh, no, no," Darren followed him to the kitchen. "No take-out. We'll cook."

"I don't know how to cook," Chris stared at his friend as if he were insane. Which he was.

"I have a few tricks hidden up my sleeve," Darren wiggled his eyebrows and started going through the cupboards and the fridge. "We could make some risotto with chicken…"

"Darren, we're gonna burn down the kitchen," Chris stood with his hands on his hips, clearly not amused.

"Of course not. I may not be a chef with lots of recipes in my book, but I do know how to make a couple of things very well," he cut a piece of butter and put it on a pan, turning on the burner underneath. "Especially Italian food. When I lived in Italy…"

"Wait. You lived in Italy?" Chris' eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You've never mentioned that."

"There are lots of things you don't know about me, _ragazzo_," Darren replied with a wink. "I was there for like six months a couple years ago. It was fucking great."

Something fluttered in Chris' belly. He tried to restrain himself, but couldn't. "You, uhm… Do you speak Italian, then?"

"_Certo che sì_!" Darren answered. "_E vi posso assicurare, i tuoi genitori stanno andando ad amare il mio vorranno venire ogni week-end solo per mangiare più._"

Chris swallowed. He had never heard anything as sexy as Darren speaking Italian and he didn't even know what the hell he had just said. He felt his cheeks burning.

"Oh," was all he managed to say after that.

"You have no idea what I said, don't you?" Darren teased with a smirk.

"No, I…" Chris had to pause and clear his throat. "No, but it sounded r-really nice."

Darren started guiding Chris so he could help him cook. He asked him to chop some onions and leek to put in the pan with the rice. Chris very unsurely started handling the knife. Darren observed him with a smile on his face until he finally left what he was doing and came to where Chris was working.

"You don't have to be so afraid of it," he said.

"I don't want to cut my finger off," Chris protested.

"You won't, silly," Darren chuckled and the way it resonated pretty much into his ear made Chris realize they were standing very close to each other yet again. "Here, let me show you."

Chris was about to pass the knife to him for a demonstration when Darren put his hands on top of his, almost intertwining their fingers together. Chris shivered, he couldn't help it.

"You need to use short, precise movements, like this," Darren explained and Chris wondered if he was aware of the effect he was causing on him. "Don't raise the edge too much, just enough to push some more stuff to cut under it. Just like this…"

Chris had never been so close to another guy before. He was sure not even the hugs that Darren had given him (and his roommate seriously was a hug whore) had brought them so close together. He tried to pay attention to what Darren was saying. He really, really tried…

"Now, let's see how you do it," Darren said and took a step back, causing Chris to feel immediately lost.

Chris stared down at the knife, dumbly, only remembering after a few seconds that he was supposed to be cutting and started moving it, trying to recall what Darren had shown him. But his mind was still fogged with thoughts he wanted to push away and, before he even realized what was happening, he felt the knife cutting his skin.

"Whoa, no!" Darren exclaimed behind him, taking the knife from him. The blood had already started to pour from the cut. He pushed Chris toward the sink and forced his hand under the cold water. "You really are dangerous in the kitchen."

"I didn't even…" Chris' eyes prickled with tears. The cut hurt, but Darren was too close again and he couldn't function.

"Ssh, just let me see it," Darren examined his finger, and soon sighed in relief. "It's not deep. You won't need stitches. You'll probably be okay with just a Band-Aid."

"Yeah, thanks," Chris said shakily. He wrapped his finger in a kitchen cloth.

Darren smiled softly, clearly trying to distract him. "Do you want me to kiss it better?"

Chris was actually grateful he had already put the knife down. He would've probably stabbed himself if he hadn't.

* * *

Darren had just put the pieces of chicken into the pan with the risotto when Chris' family arrived. He went downstairs to greet them and, after what seemed like ages hugging each other, they followed him back upstairs to their apartment.

"Is this a safe neighborhood, Christopher?" Karyn asked, concern clear in her voice.

"Yes, mom, I think it's quite safe," Chris answered, rolling his eyes.

"And are you eating well?" She always had the same questions when they talked on the phone, but Chris supposed he couldn't blame her for worrying. "You're not eating McDonald's every day of the week, are you?"

"Of course not," Chris said as he pushed the door open. "We're here."

Darren turned around from in front of the stove and gave them all a smile. "Hello!"

"That's Darren," Chris said, pointing, quite unnecessarily, at him. "These are…"

"What happened to your finger, Chris?" Hannah interrupted, grabbing his hand to take a look at it.

"Oh, that…"

"Your brother is quite clumsy when it comes to cooking, Hannah," Darren replied, as he walked towards them, drying his hands on a kitchen cloth. "But he's fine, it was just a little cut."

"Oh my God, are you sure you don't need stitches or…?" Karyn started, grabbing Chris' hand and starting to remove the Band-Aid he had put on.

"I'm fine, mom," Chris said, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Darren helped me and he said it was okay."

Karyn's eyes fell on Darren and she smiled, softly. "I think I like you already, Darren."

"Thanks, Mrs. Colfer," he offered his hand to both of Chris' parents and, after exchanging a few pleasantries, he moved back to the stove to check on the food.

The family moved to the couch and started catching up a bit on each other's lives as Darren stayed by the kitchen area. It warmed his heart to see Chris with his parents and his sister. He wasn't sure he had ever seen him as happy as he was now.

After a little while, Darren brought the food to the coffee table. It was a little uncomfortable to eat there and it would've probably been a lot better to go out and eat at some restaurant, but Chris liked it this way. This was his life now: cramped and happy.

The risotto was absolutely delicious and Chris turned to look at Darren with wide eyes as soon as he tried it.

"Told you," Darren mumbled from his place on the floor, where he had his plate on his lap.

Chris wasn't really sure why Darren was there, why he had insisted on his family coming to their apartment, but he liked it. He liked it a lot. In a very short time, Darren had become one of the most important people in his life. Right now, this room held all the ones he cared about the most.

After they finished eating, Karyn insisted on helping Chris with the dishes, so they stood by the sink together, talking non-stop. Tim excused himself for a moment and went to the bathroom and Hannah just sat there in the couch, staring at Darren intently.

"Do you like LA so far?" He asked, crawling towards the couch to be closer to her.

"I will if Chris takes me to the beach," she answered. Her eyes were boring into Darren's.

"I'm sure he will," Darren grinned.

"Are you Chris' boyfriend?" She asked bluntly.

Darren froze. That had been completely unexpected. "No, I'm not," he replied after a few seconds. "What makes you think that?"

"You act like a married couple," Hannah explained, still completely serious. "And you keep looking at him."

"Well, I…" was he really looking at Chris? What Hannah was saying was somehow disturbing. He blinked a couple of times, not sure what to say. "He told me you didn't know he likes boys instead of girls…"

"Everyone knows that; that's why those boys hurt him the night before he moved here," Hannah said, as if it was the most obvious thing. "I saw him when he got home. He was bleeding and I heard him cry."

Darren's heart stopped beating and his chest was suddenly stabbed with a pain he hadn't experienced before. Chris had been beaten up? That was the reason he had come to LA? That was the reason he had looked so broken?

"What are you two talking about?" Chris asked as he approached them, smiling and dropping down on the couch next to his sister.

Darren stared at him for a moment. He remembered the night of the nightmare. He remembered all the times the boy had flinched when he touched him. He remembered when he first met him and he looked so lost…

"Hannah was telling me she wants to go to the beach," he finally said, hoping his voice didn't sound weird. "You should definitely take her."

"If that's what you want, then that's where we'll go," Chris wrapped an arm around her to keep her close and kissed her hair. "Where else should I take them, Darren? You know more about LA than I do."

Darren stood up. He couldn't force a smile to his face. "I don't know, man. Just go to all the tourist spots."

Chris frowned. Something was definitely off about his roommate. "I thought you were coming with us?"

"No, you should spend some time with your family and I have to… I have to work on my set list for tonight, so…" Darren ran a hand through his hair.

Darren never worked too much on his set lists. That was one of the reasons he always forgot the lyrics. Chris knew his friend wasn't telling him something, but he assumed he was trying to politely decline his invitation so Chris could focus on his family. "Okay, if you're sure…"

A few minutes later, when Chris' parents and sister said goodbye to him and left, with Chris closing the door behind him after shooting Darren one last look over his shoulder, Darren collapsed on the couch, feeling overwhelmed by the thoughts flooding his head.

* * *

**In case I fucked up with the part where Darren speaks Italian, my apologies. My Italian is very rusty and Google translator isn't very helpful most of the times.**

**I hope you enjoyed! Some of you guessed that the date wasn't really a DATE, so thumbs up for you, guys. Please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter!**

**I think I may be able to update again by next weekend! Cross your fingers, kids.**

**Love,**

**L.-**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! Happy Friday! :)**

**I was going to try and update during the weekend, but I finished studying for the day and decided to do it now while I had some time :) I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews I've been getting lately. Have I mentioned how awesome you all are? It's worth it saying it again: you're awesome. THANK YOU.**

**I own nothing!**

* * *

The days got a little busier for Chris. One of the baristas at the coffee shop got sick and he had to replace her and every minute he didn't spend there, he spent locked up in his room or sprawled on the couch with his laptop, trying to put down in words an idea he'd had for years. Writing a screenplay was even harder than writing a book, he thought. He had to be concise but make sure that his dialog was enough to pain the images in his mind.

He and Darren didn't really see much of each other then. Darren got a few auditions and he was out with Joey a lot, too. When he came back to the apartment, late at night, Chris was often already asleep.

But there was a change, a distance that hadn't been there before and Chris could feel it. He didn't know if he had done something wrong or if maybe the two of them were just too tired to hang out the way they used to.

All Chris knew for sure was that he missed him. He missed Darren even when he could hear him moving around in the apartment.

* * *

As soon as Chris got back some free time, he decided to take Ashley with him to one of Darren's gigs. They were his two best friends and he wanted them to meet.

"Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that," Ashley had said when she picked him up that night. "You just want me to tell you if I approve of the guy you're crushing on or not."

"Ashley!" Chris hissed, covering his face with his hand. "For the last time, I'm not in love with Darren!"

"I didn't say you were _in love_ with him, Chris. Those are your words, not mine," she replied with a mischievous smirk.

They got a good table and ordered a couple of drinks as they waited for the show to start. Darren was nowhere to be seen and Chris thought about maybe sending him a text message and telling him they were there. He hadn't told him he was bringing Ashley or even that he was going because it had been such a last minute thing. He had just taken his phone out of his pocket to send the text when Darren went on stage.

"He's good," Ashley muttered into Chris' ear when Darren was halfway through the first song. "He's hot, too, but I'd shear that sheep on his head a little, though."

"I like his hair," Chris mumbled, his chin propped up on his hand, completely entranced by how _alive_ Darren looked when he was on stage.

"Oh yeah, you're not in love with him at all…" Ashley rolled her eyes.

A couple of songs later Darren's gaze fell on them and Chris waved at him with a smile. It seemed as if Darren had a hard time smiling back. That made Chris frown.

Ashley ordered more drinks as Darren introduced his next song.

"I wrote this when I was still a kid. I hope it doesn't suck too much," he bit his lip as he started playing the guitar softly.

Chris had heard the song before, of course. But when Darren looked directly at him, something inside him seemed to start twisting, out of control.

_I feel like a loser_  
_I feel like I'm lost_  
_I feel like I'm not so sure if I feel anything at all_  
_But believe me, I'm not helpless I just_  
_Need someone to love_  
_So my situation's rough_  
_But that just makes me a dumb human_  
_Like you._

Chris wasn't sure he was breathing, but then Darren kept singing, his eyes not on him anymore, but singing to the audience. Chris knew this must be just another product of his imagination, more wishful thinking.

But then Darren's eyes were boring into him again, just as the song was about to end and he was singing it so intensely that Chris couldn't even hold his drink, his hands were shaking so much.

_I feel like an artist_  
_Who's lost his touch_  
_He likes himself in his art, but not his art too much_  
_But believe me, I've got something_  
_I just don't know how to say_  
_That I'm just fine with the way_  
_With the way that I'm moving…_

"Why is you roommate practically eye-fucking you in a pub full of people while he's on stage?" Ashley whispered in his ear, leaning closer.

"He's not!" Chris protested weakly. "He's just really into the song, okay?"

"Oh, please, he's so busy staring at you that he hasn't noticed that blonde slut bouncing her boobs around to get his attention," Ashley snorted, as she pointed to a girl sitting closer to the stage. Her cleavage was a little much.

"What you're saying doesn't even make sense. The song isn't even flirty," Chris rolled his eyes again.

"No, it's not. But _I need someone to love_, _my situation's rough _and_ I've got something I just don't know how to say_?" Ashley checked each line off her fingers and then held them in front of Chris' face, as if she wasn't sure he could see them clearly. "You have to learn how to read the subliminal messages."

"This is ridiculous," Chris took the last sip of his drink and pushed the glass away.

"Fine, whatever, Colfer." Ashley sat back in her seat and watched the rest of the show without paying any more attention to Chris, who was sort of happy to be left alone. He had to convince himself not to believe in his friend's crazy words.

He didn't need to live in an delusion.

* * *

It was one of those rare cloudy days in Los Angeles and Chris had it off from work. He had the apartment to himself, since Darren had texted him to tell him he had gotten a last minute audition and he didn't know when he'd be home. So Chris had been making good use of the silence and writing almost non-stop, turning the tiny living room into an office for the day. He had papers, books, notebooks and his computer all over the table and a fresh pot of coffee going in the kitchen. If there was one day he was going to get something significant done with this script, it would be today.

He was just about to go pour a second a second cup of coffee, when the front door opened and Darren stepped into the apartment. Chris looked at him with a smile that vanished as soon as he saw his friend's face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, worried.

Darren ran a hand through his hair roughly, closing his eyes in frustration. "Everything's wrong."

"Was it your audition? Didn't it go well?" Chris put his mug down and walked towards him.

"Of course it didn't go well!" Darren practically screamed, causing Chris to jump almost a foot in the air. "I'm such an idiot!"

"Oh, Dare, don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure everything will work out eventually," Chris put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Just because some stupid casting director doesn't see how great you are…"

"It was a fucking _porn movie_," Darren muttered, walking to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator's door and slamming it shut again.

Chris blinked. "You… you auditioned for a porn movie."

"I didn't know that's what it was!" Darren exclaimed. "This dude told me I looked perfect for a movie he was going to film and that I should go audition, but when I got there they wanted me to take my clothes off and then there was a chick waiting there to lick my fucking nipples…"

"Oh my God…" Chris' eyes had gone wide. "What did you do?"

"I turned around and left. What do you think I did?" Darren dropped down on the couch and buried his face on the armrest. "I don't know why I even bother. What's the point? This damn city is full of people like me trying to get the same job. I should've just taken my clothes off. At least I would've gotten paid."

"_Darren_," Chris said, sharply, taking a seat next to him. "Stop that right now."

"I don't want to," Darren answered petulantly, his voice muffled by the couch.

"You're acting like a child," Chris tugged on his arm until Darren turned around. The defeat in his hazel eyes was heartbreaking. "What happened to the guy who told me I have to keep trying?"

"He hit rock bottom when he realized people only wanted to hire him if he was naked," Darren groaned miserably.

"That's not true. I'm sure he's still here somewhere, as optimistic and enthusiastic as ever," Chris replied firmly. "He just needs to have a little hope and a little patience. No one said it was going to be easy, but I know of someone who has absolute confidence in his talent and believes he's going to make it really soon."

Darren tilted his head to the side, a curious spark in his eyes. "Who?"

"Me, you silly," Chris smiled and poked him on the side. "You're the most talented guy I've ever known."

Very slowly, a smile appeared on Darren's face, too. "Why are you so amazing?"

"I'm not, I'm just realistic," Chris bumped their shoulders together before standing up. "And now, I'm ending this pity party of yours. Would you like to watch a movie with me?"

"Disney?" Darren asked, hopefully.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Disney," he confirmed anyway.

Chris popped _The Lady and the Tramp_ into the DVD and went back to the couch, after clearing up the coffee table a bit so they could put their feet on it. As soon as he sat down, Darren snuggled against his side and rested his head on his chest. Chris was afraid Darren could feel his heart beating like crazy, but he said nothing.

Darren was humming along to the music and Chris had never felt so comfortable or so happy as he felt then with the other boy's body pressing against his, making him feel so warm and safe.

It was probably halfway through the movie when Darren lifted his head slightly to look up at Chris. When he felt him moving, Chris looked down and their eyes met for just a fraction of a second. Without even saying a word, Darren pressed their lips together, softly, sweetly. Chris stopped breathing, although Darren pulled away very soon, resting his head back on his chest as if nothing had happened. But something had happened, because Chris was seeing fireworks and stars and rainbows and kitties and puppies jumping around.

He didn't know what it meant for Darren, but he knew what it meant for himself.

He was deeply in love with this boy.

Darren spent the rest of the movie tracing random patterns on Chris' stomach through his shirt. Chris spent the rest of the movie feeling his lips aching for one more kiss.

* * *

Ashley spat her coffee all over Chris' apron.

"Ashley!" He exclaimed, looking down at himself, grateful the hot drink hadn't sprayed on his skin.

"He kissed you? Oh. My. _God_!" She squealed, causing a few customers to turn around to look at her. "I knew it! I knew he was into you, I told you!"

"Ash, can you keep it down?" He growled, smiling apologetically at the woman who was waiting for her order. "We're not alone."

She made a dismissive gesture with her hand, showing that she clearly didn't care who listened to their conversation. "I want to know everything. What happened after the kiss? Did he knock you down onto the couch and then you had the most awesome make out session ever? Did he drag you into bed and have his way with you? How does he look naked?"

Chris' face was so red he was surprised he hadn't burst into flames. "Please, please shut up."

"Not until you give me some details," Ashley started tapping her foot on the floor, impatiently.

Chris sighed and gave the poor woman (who looked like she wanted to run away) her change. She turned around and practically flew out of the coffee shop. "Nothing happened. We finished watching the movie, we had dinner, I took a shower and then he left for his show."

Ashley stayed very still as if she was waiting for him to continue. When he didn't, she seemed personally offended. "You're kidding me, right? He kissed you and you did nothing?"

"What did you want me to do?" Chris asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"Something! Anything!" Ashley threw her arms in the air, groaning. "You two are unbelievable."

"Look, he was upset and he probably did it because he needed comfort, okay?" Chris said, finally voicing what he was most afraid of: that it hadn't meant anything to Darren. "So I'm not going to read too much into it."

He had just finished saying that when the door opened again and Darren walked in, looking around curiously, since it was the first time he'd been there. As soon as he located Chris and Ashley he smiled and waved, walking towards them.

Chris stopped breathing, shocked to see him there.

Ashley pinched his ass as if she were saying _if he's not into you, then what is he doing here?_

"Hey guys, how is it going?" Darren said once he got to the counter.

"Oh, you know, just a normal day at the coffee shop. People come in, get their drinks and leave," Ashley answered, trying to act nonchalant but sounding incredibly obnoxious, in Chris' opinion. "So my boy Colfer and I have had lots of time to talk and gossip…"

Chris elbowed her in the ribs. "What are you doing here, Darren?"

"Uhm, I was just…" was Darren _blushing_? "Well, I had nothing to do so I went grocery shopping and when I got back home I decided to make something for lunch and I made too much without even realizing and I thought maybe you were tired of eating sandwiches and stuff, so I brought you some." He explained, a little too quickly, as he pushed a brown paper bag towards Chris over the counter.

Chris hesitantly grabbed the bag. He didn't really know what to say. Darren was acting a little weird (well, weirder than usual) and Chris couldn't help thinking that his bringing him food and getting all flustered was because the kiss _had_ meant something to him, after all.

"It's just a salad," Darren immediately muttered when Chris opened the bag to peek inside. "Don't think it's a big deal or anything, it's not like I made a fucking salmon or whatever, it's just salad."

Chris smiled, his blue eyes incredibly warm when they found Darren's. "It's still great. Thanks, Dare. You didn't have to."

Darren grinned happily. "It was nothing."

They just stood there, staring at each other, smiling and silent, until Ashley groaned, impatient.

"You two are so infuriating," she said, raising her eyes to the ceiling. "Why don't you just stop being so ridiculously slow? I have the key to the backroom where we keep all the cleaning stuff. I'll put some music on and no one will hear your…"

"Ashley!" Chris exclaimed, scandalized. "Don't you have some coffee to make?"

"Fine," she rolled her eyes and walked away, leaving behind two boys who looked self-consciously shy.

He turned back to Darren who was looking down at his feet. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with her."

"Don't worry about it," Darren bit his lip. "I should go actually, and let you go back to work."

"Yeah, sure," Chris held the paper bag against his chest. "Thanks so much for stopping by and bringing me…"

"Oh, don't even mention it," Darren cut off, chuckling. "I'll see you later, Chris!"

"Bye, Darren."

Oh man. He had it bad. He had it real bad for his roommate.

* * *

Writer's block had to be one of the things Chris hated the most. After staring at his computer screen for over an hour without being able to type even one word, he shut it down and put it on the coffee table, frustrated.

Darren, who was standing by the bookshelf, looking for a book to read, turned to look at him and, noticing how stressed his friend looked, sighed and abandoned his search.

"Come on, get up, we're going for a walk," he said, dragging Chris off the couch.

Chris didn't protest or question him. He had learnt to just go with the flow with Darren and a walk actually sounded good. He wasn't going to get anything done locked up in their tiny apartment. He needed fresh air and fresh ideas.

The night was slowly taking over the city and there was a chilly breeze floating above their heads. Darren was glad he had the night off: the café where he played on Tuesdays was closed for a week because they were renovating the kitchen. Chris walked beside him, mostly silent and thoughtful.

Something had been eating at Darren insides for weeks now, so he moved a little closer to Chris and decided to look for answers. "Can I ask you something?"

Chris hummed his consent, still a bit distracted.

"When your parents came over for lunch that time… well, Hannah told me something that I wasn't really expecting," Darren said, looking at Chris carefully for any sign of discomfort.

He frowned, a little confused. "What was it?"

Darren cleared his throat. He wasn't sure how Chris would react at him knowing about it. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. But Darren had to know. He had to. "She told me the night before you left Clovis some guys beat you up."

He could feel Chris tensing beside him. He chanced to glance at his friend and found him staring straight ahead, his jaw tightly clenched.

"I… I'm sorry if I'm overstepping," Darren stopped, standing right in front of Chris to force the other boy to stop walking, too. They were on a crowded sidewalk and people had to sidestep to avoid them. "And I won't mention it again if you don't want to talk about it. But… I just need to know if it's true."

Chris swallowed, his blue eyes bright with what looked like unshed tears in a way that made Darren's heart ache. He seemed so hesitant, and Darren regretted mentioning that night at all.

"It's true," Chris admitted after a few seconds. "That's why I left Clovis."

Darren nodded slowly, having to bite back the tears of pain and anger that Chris' words produced in him. "I'm sorry. Thanks for telling me." He grabbed Chris' hand and intertwined their fingers together, squeezing lightly. "I'm here, Chris. Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

Chris smiled sadly. "I know you are."

They started walking again, neither of them making the effort to pull their hands apart, so they kept holding each other. As they waited in a corner for the red light so they could cross the street, Darren leaned closer to Chris and kissed his cheek briefly.

"We went out to find inspiration for your writing, not to make you feel bad about anything," he said quietly. "Let's just look around and breathe the city in, okay?"

Chris managed a tiny, little smile. "Sounds good to me."

* * *

He couldn't breathe or move. There was a constant pressure on his back as he was held down against the cold, wet pavement. He could feel his nostrils filling with his own blood and his eyes were full of tears he just refused to let go. He tried to push himself up using his hands, but the foot keeping him down only pressed harder and he was sure if he kept trying, his ribs would be fractured.

He could hear noises, screams, insults. They weren't directed at him this time, like before. His blurry eyes focused on where half of the boys that had caught him were leaning down to get closer to another person lying on the ground like him.

Chris mentally prepared himself for the sight of blonde hair and blue eyes. He prepared himself to see his sister being punished for sins that weren't hers. He prepared himself to push himself up even if that resulted in him getting all his bones broken. He wouldn't leave his sister go through the same hell as he had.

But what he saw wasn't what he expected and that knocked the air out of his lungs, leaving him dumb and confused, before the desperation started growing in him.

_You like going around kissing fags, don't you?_

_Leave him alone, leave him alone, leave him alone._

_You deserve to die as much as that other queer._

_No, not him, not him, please, not him._

A kick, a fist colliding with a bone, a crack.

A cry of pain.

_Darren! Darren! No, no, no, don't hurt him, please!_

A pool of blood spreading on the pavement.

_Darren!_

The crash of glass breaking against the floor and the flash of light reflecting on a broken bottle.

_No! Darren!_

"Wake up! Chris, please, wake up!"

He was being shaken. All the lights in his room were on and he immediately focused on Darren's panicked face staring back at him. They were both panting and he knew he was crying, he could feel the tears coming down his cheeks.

It should've embarrassed him how relieved he was to see Darren sitting on the edge of his bed with his hands still clasped on his shoulders. He should've known it was just a bad dream, again. But he was shivering and the images had seemed too real, even more so than last time, so Chris quickly sat up and wrapped his arms around Darren, burying his face in the crook of his neck and sobbing uncontrollably against his skin.

This time Darren didn't whisper any reassurances. This time he just held Chris as close as he could, his lips pressed against the top of his head and breathed with him. It was as if he was in a trance and it took him a couple of minutes to be able to speak.

"You were saying my name, calling me."

Chris nodded into his shoulder. "They were hurting you."

"Chris…"

"They found me after work. It was so dark, I didn't even see them coming," Chris sobbed, clutching Darren tighter. "They'd been bullying me since high school. They've always hated me."

"Chris, you don't have to…" Darren muttered weakly, as his hands twitched against Chris' back.

"I've bought Hannah's medicines that day and they took my bag. I just wanted her pills back and they got angry when I told them to give them to me…" One of Darren's hands moved up until he could tangle his fingers into Chris' chestnut hair. "I thought they were going to kill me…"

"You're okay," Darren muttered, his voice cracking with every word. "You're okay, Chris. You escaped. You're here with me and no one else is going to hurt you again…"

"How can you be so sure?" Chris asked in a little voice.

"Because I'm not gonna let them," Darren kissed his hair, then his temple, then his cheek, frantically. "_Fuck_. I can't believe someone would… _fuck_." Darren held him even tighter and Chris could barely breathe, but he didn't care. "I promise, Chris. I promise, I promise…"

Somehow they ended up lying side by side, still holding each other tightly. Chris was exhausted but he was scared to fall back asleep. Darren rubbed soothing circles on the small of his back.

Dawn was scratching the horizon when Darren finally said something, a mere whisper against Chris' temple. "I'm glad you've made it out of Clovis. I'm glad I found you."

Chris sighed, nuzzling his face further into Darren's chest. "I'm glad you found me, too."

* * *

**So there we go! They shared a little kiss, things are obviously happening and we also got a little drama. What did you guys think? Hit that review button and let me know!**

**The song Darren sings is, obviously, Human. I don't own it. I wish I did. And I wish I owned Darren too. But I don't.**

**Thanks to my beta for her usual and fantastic help.**

**I hope I can get another chapter up by next weekend. No promises, though. I'll barely have time to breathe the next few weeks.**

**Thanks so much for reading and until next time! :)**

**L.-**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone!**

**Yes, yes, I'm updating earlier than expected, I know. My afternoon class was suspended today and I found myself with some free time I wasn't expecting but I'm definitely welcoming. So I thought... what better than giving you guys a new chapter?**

**Thank you so, so, so much for all the amazing reviews. I hope you'll like this one, too!**

**Thumbs up for my wonderful beta and friend, Wutif.**

**I own nothing!**

* * *

Waking up in Darren's arms had to be one of the most fantastic, yet terrifying things Chris had ever experienced. The warmth that surrounded him and the rhythmic puff of breath hitting the top of his head was foreign but comforting and the scent of the other boy all around him had an almost sedative effect in him: all memories of the horrible dream that had haunted him hours before didn't seem as bad now, not with Darren holding him tightly.

Chris didn't know how to handle the feelings flooding him. Darren was the first guy to ever get close, and want to spend time with him. Darren was the first man he had ever shared his bed with, who had ever held him… who had ever kissed him.

Chris wasn't sure what to do with any of that. Why did Darren do those things? Was it just because he was open and caring? Was it because he had feelings for him? Was it just his nature to be so warm? The reasons could be so many and yet none seemed to make sense.

Feeling his head spinning from too many questions he had no answerst to, Chris carefully untangled himself and stood up. Darren whined low in his throat and started to shift until his face was buried in Chris' pillow. He hugged it to his chest as he smiled softly and sighed in contentment. Chris' heart clenched at the sight.

He felt the need to distract himself with something, so Chris started working on breakfast. He was nervous about what would happen once Darren woke up. Would he ask him more about the dream, his past and his bullies? He took a deep breath and started cracking eggs into a bowl with more force than necessary, and ended with half the shell in the bowl.

Darren stumbled out of his room a few minutes later. His hair was a mess and his eyes were still half-close. He scratched the back of his head as he stood there, sleepy and confused, watching Chris in silence.

Chris pretended to focus on breakfast although his entire body was tingling just from being in the same room with Darren again. He scraped the pan with the spatula to keep the eggs from sticking. "Good morning."

Darren padded into the kitchen, but when he answered, his voice was almost in Chris' ear and the younger boy jumped nearly a foot in the air. "Morning," Darren brushed a kiss to his cheek, as his hand settled on the small of his back. "Did you even get some sleep?"

Chris swallowed, feeling breathless, his entire body on edge and Darren's hand _was still there_. "I… yeah, I… yes."

Darren smiled, still sleepily. "That's good, man. Maybe I should sleep with you more often if that helps," he said, and Chris couldn't tell exactly what he meant by that. Was Darren flirting? His heart stopped anyway. "What's for breakfast?"

Chris actually needed a couple of seconds to form a response. "Um… scrambled eggs. I was going to make some bacon and…"

"Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I'll work on it," Darren moved to the fridge and Chris felt his brain getting back on track.

Chris divided the eggs into two plates, giving Darren his turn at the stove. He poured two cups of coffee and leaned against the counter, eating quietly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Darren asked, as he served the bacon. "Do you want to talk about…?"

"No," Chris interrupted, a bit embarrassed. "It's fine, Darren, thank you."

"Hey," Darren nudged him with his shoulder and smiled encouragingly. "There's no reason to feel bad about it. Everyone has bad dreams sometimes, especially after going through tough stuff like you have."

Chris stayed silent, his appetite gone all of a sudden.

Darren put his plate and mug down and took Chris' from him and placed them down on the counter, too. He stood between Chris' outstretched legs and grabbed him by the hips, causing Chris to gasp a bit in surprise.

"What do I have to do to show you that there's no reason to be uncomfortable with me?" Darren's hazel eyes were burning into Chris' blue ones. "Chris, I _hate_ that all that crap happened to you, but I meant what I said last night…"

What would happen if Chris leaned down the few inches that separated them and kissed him? What would he do if he threw his arms around Darren's neck? How amazing would it feel to have the other man glued to him as they breathed together and moved together and existed together as if they were one? "I know," he muttered. "I just… I need some time to get over it. And… I don't really like talking about it, either."

When Darren moved his hand up and brushed Chris' hair off his forehead, Chris knew there was no way the other man didn't feel him shivering against him. "We don't need to talk about it. You just need to know I'm here."

Chris nodded shakily and braced himself for what might come next. If Darren kissed him…

Darren took a step back and grabbed his mug again, taking one last sip. "I'm gonna go shower. Thanks for the breakfast, dude."

Chris watched him walk into the bathroom wondering how it was possible for one person to be so damn confusing.

* * *

Ashley was fed up with those two dancing around this thing. It only took a minute after Chris told her everything that happened with Darren for her to come up with a plan.

"Colfer, I'm going to teach you how to seduce your man…"

"Ashley, don't even think about it…"

"Ssh, I talk, you listen," she said, covering his mouth with her hand to keep him quiet. "After your shift is over today, you go buy his favorite food, go home and prepare a nice dinner for two. Then, you'll go with him to his gig and spend the entire night eye-fucking him like he did that time I went with you to one of his shows. And then…"

"Ashley, that's ridiculous," Chris protested, moving her hand away so he could speak.

"What did I say about keeping your mouth shut, Colfer?" Ashley quirked her eyebrow at him severely. "And then, when you two get back home, you kiss him."

"I can't kiss him!"

"Why not? He did it, didn't he?" Ashley shrugged. "But kiss him for real, passionate and…"

"I'm not going to listen to any more of this insanity," Chris turned around and walked to a table that had just vacated and grabbed the abandoned empty paper cups to throw in the bin.

"Fine!" Ashley yelled from the other end of the coffee shop, causing all the customers to turn around to look at her. "Don't come crying to me in a few weeks because you're not getting laid!"

"_Ohmygodshutup_," Chris covered his face, completely red with embarrassment by now.

Ashley turned to the old lady who was waiting for her green tea and shook her head. "I swear, if he doesn't tap that sweet ass soon, I'm going to step in."

The lady left the store, scandalized.

* * *

Chris ended up promising Ashley to try her plan if she would just stop mentioning to every single person who entered the coffee shop. She smirked smugly at him and called it a deal.

His stomach was bubbling in nerves and excitement. Maybe he did have a chance with Darren. Maybe there could really be something between them. Maybe it hadn't all been a product of his imagination.

He stopped by Darren's favorite Chinese place after he got off work and bought dinner for two. He hesitated, but then decided to go all out and made another stop to buy a few scented candles to put on the center of the table. All the way back home, he couldn't help but try and plan conversation topics, ways to get Darren's attention to the one thing he wanted to know: could they be more than friends and roommates?

Once he got to their apartment, he stood in the hall for a long minute, taking a deep breath and anxiously touching his hair, making sure it looked good. He knew it was just a silly excuse, but he couldn't help it. He finally pushed the door open.

And then he froze by the doorway.

Darren was sitting on the couch with a guitar on his lap, as he often did. The unusual part was the pretty, slim woman with short hair sitting next to him (so close. _Much_ too close), who was also holding a guitar. They were laughing at something and she had a hand on his arm.

Seriously, they were way too close.

"Oh, hi, Chris!" Darren said brightly, grinning up at him.

"Hi," Chris answered dumbly, barely remembering to toe the door shut behind him.

"This is Charlene, she…"

"Nice to meet you," Chris interrupted, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He moved into the apartment, to get to his bedroom. "I'm sorry, I have something I have to do…"

"You bought dinner?" Darren asked, eying the bag.

"No. Yes. Yes, I bought dinner," Chris replied, putting the bag on the coffee table.

"Awesome! I hope there's enough for the three of us…" Darren started peeking into the bag.

"I'm not hungry right now," Chris muttered. "You two have fun."

"Thank you," Charlene said sweetly, but frowning at the same time at Chris' weird behavior. "We're playing together later tonight. Would you like to come with us?"

Chris gripped the doorknob of his bedroom too tightly. "No, I'm sorry. I can't. I have… I'm meeting Ashley," he lied. And before either of them could add anything else, he locked himself in his room and leaned against the door.

Why was he such an idiot? Why did he think he had any chance to be with Darren when Darren was straight? He and Charlene had looked so cozy, so comfortable with each other… Gosh, he felt so stupid.

He fumbled to take his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed Ashley's number. She picked up not even ten seconds later.

"You'd better be butt-dialing while you're making out on the couch with…"

"Can I come over to your place?" Chris choked out, trying to speak quietly so Darren and Charlene wouldn't hear.

There was a pause and then Ashley spoke softly, this time with no teasing in her voice. "What happened, babe?"

"When I got home, he had a girl here with him," he explained, refusing to cry. "They're practically cuddling on the couch. I need to get out of here, please…"

"Grab your pajamas, boy, we're having a sleep over," Ashley said, trying to sound cheerful.

Chris hung up and took another second to try and breathe, hoping Ashley had ice-cream and an Adele album.

He needed them, badly.

* * *

The next day things weren't going well for Chris at Caffeine Fix. He couldn't focus, he kept getting the orders wrong, miscounting the change and messing up _everything_. He hadn't slept much the night before at Ashley's and the fact that she kept glancing at him as if she was expecting him to burst into tears any minute didn't really help.

He needed to get over this thing with Darren. That was more than clear. And Ashley had given him an idea the previous night that was starting to sound attractive.

"Why don't you move in with me?" She had said as they sprawled on her bed staring at the ceiling. "You won't be able to get over him if you're around him all the time."

The only problem was that Ashley's apartment was even smaller than theirs and he would have to sleep on the couch or share the bed with her and he wasn't very keen on that idea. Besides, he'd constantly be waking her up with his nightmares. But even sleeping on her couch sounded preferable to being heartbroken because of his stupidly charming roommate.

"You have to stop thinking so loud," Ashley muttered, standing next to him as he stared at the coffee machine trying to remember what he was supposed to do next. "I swear, people in China can hear your thoughts. You need to chill."

Chris sighed hopelessly and let her take over. "I can't. I don't know what to do. I don't even want to go back home…"

Ashley efficiently made the mocha he had forgotten to make. "Then don't. Stay with me again, you know I don't mind."

"I have to go back someday," Chris rolled his eyes humorlessly. "I can't avoid him forever. He's oblivious but he's not stupid."

He had a headache. He was tired. He was hurting but, mostly, he was a fool.

"Look, why don't you take twenty minutes and go for a walk or something? Maybe some fresh air will help you think," Ashley cupped his cheeks between her hands. "Go. Don't worry about anything, just go."

Chris nodded slowly, took his apron off and walked out of the coffee shop, knowing that a simple walk wasn't going to solve anything at all.

* * *

It hadn't been even ten minutes since Chris had left when Ashley turned around from the coffee machine and was greeted by a bright smile and a mess of curls.

"Hey, Ash!" Darren said cheerfully. "How are you?"

Ashley couldn't help it. She scowled at him with the most unfriendly expression that had ever appeared on her face. "_Fine_."

Darren blinked, a bit surprised. "Uhm. Good. That's good! Is Chris busy?"

"He's not here," she answered curtly.

Darren frowned, getting more and more confused. "What do you mean? His shift doesn't end for another three hours…"

"He's on his break and he went out. Did you need anything?" Ashley asked, acting so overly polite that it sounded cold.

Darren leaned on the counter. "Is there something wrong?"

She shook her head, but stayed silent.

Sighing, Darren rubbed his face with his hands. "Listen, Ash, I don't know what's going on… but I'm worried about Chris. He left suddenly last night and he looked really upset about something but he didn't even give me time to…"

"Are you a complete idiot?" Ashley finally snapped, exasperated.

Darren immediately shut his mouth and his eyes went wide.

Ashley had had enough. "You keep giving him mixed signals all the damn time, you get all cuddly and clingy and bring him lunch and kiss him out of nowhere and you expect the poor guy not to feel confused?" A man approached the counter to place an order and Ashley turned to him with fire in her eyes. "Don't you see I'm busy here? There's another coffee shop around the corner, so get out!" Then her attention went back to Darren, who flinched under her gaze. "You can't be _that_ stupid, Darren. If you keep messing with his head like this, you're going to hurt him for real. And don't you think the kid had already had enough pain in his life? He doesn't need to deal with your crap, too. So if you're going to kiss him and then invite random chicks to hang out with you and play guitar while you get all lovey-dovey on the couch, then you better set things straight with him, pun _intended_!"

Darren was gaping like a fish out of the water. "I… he… he told you about Charlene?"

"Oh my God, I'm going to punch you right now," she mumbled, as she started rolling the sleeves of her shirt up.

Taking a few steps back, Darren held his hands up in defense. "Wait, no! It's not what you think! It's not what _he_ thinks! Charlene is a friend of mine. We've known each other for years and we played together last night, so we were practicing when he got home! And I…"

"You, what?" She spat, impatiently.

Darren closed his eyes, gathering the courage he needed. "I trust her, okay? I really do and I needed to talk to someone I could trust. So I invited her over so she could meet Chris…"

Ashley stopped rolling her sleeves to look at him. "What?"

"I… I've been talking to her about him and about how I…" Darren swallowed, frustrated. "About how I'm starting to… you know, have _feelings_ for him and shit. And she said she wanted to meet him and I…" He collapsed on the counter. "I ruined everything now, didn't I?"

Ashley walked around the counter, grabbed Darren by the elbow and dragged him to the nearest empty table, forcing him to sit down and then taking the seat opposite his. "Are you serious right now?"

"Of course I'm serious!" He exclaimed. "I mean, I… I'm still trying to figure things out, but I really like him and I didn't want to screw up everything between us. I want to be sure…"

"You're taking too long and you're confusing him," Ashley smacked the side of his head. "He thought that Charlene chick was your girlfriend or something."

"Oh God. He didn't even let me introduce her properly. He just bailed as quickly as he could…" Darren crossed his arms over the table and hid his face in them.

"Look, it's good that you're trying not to screw things up," she muttered, leaning closer to him, "but if you don't get your shit together soon, it'll be over before it starts." Ashley took a deep breath. "He's considering moving in with me."

Darren lifted his head so quickly that his neck cracked. He rubbed it, his face scrunched up in pain. "What? Why?"

"He's tired, Darren, he's tired of being hurt all the time," she explained. "Wouldn't you be, if you were him?"

Darren closed his eyes again and nodded regretfully. He was silent for a few seconds. "Can you buy me some time? I just need a little while longer while I try to get my shit together? I don't want him to move out…"

Ashley rolled her eyes. "I guess I could come up with something. But if you ever hurt him again…"

Darren stood up, almost tripping over the chair. "I know." He hurried to envelope her in a huge hug. "I know, Ash. Thank you."

"Good. Now get out of here before he comes back," she pushed him towards the exit and watched him as he walked down the street.

Those two were going to end up together even if she had to handcuff them.

* * *

It was hard to avoid Darren, to keep his distance, to try and be mad at him, to simply stay away. Two days later, even though Chris' heart still ached in his chest, things had gone back to normal. If by the time he went into his room at night his smile instantly vanished from his face… well, Darren didn't need to know that.

* * *

He had nightmares two more times.

Both times, he woke up to Darren's hands on him, trying to calm him down.

Both times, he fell back asleep in his roommate's arms.

* * *

Chris discovered that the only thing that helped when he started feeling homesick was writing, so he spent most of his free time glued to his laptop, typing non-stop. Darren would often sit nearby, playing the guitar softly and keeping him company, and there was a point when Chris wasn't sure if what comforted him was his world of fiction, or the man he loved sitting so close to him.

* * *

It was late, and Chris had had a terrible day. He was lying on the couch, wearing his favorite pair of sweatpants and his oldest t-shirt, eating cold noodles he had found in the fridge, though god only knew how old they were. The TV was on, with some pointless reality show playing in the background, but he wasn't really paying any attention anyway. He had his laptop on the coffee table in front of him, opened and waiting for him to start typing.

He had the feeling, though, that he wouldn't get any writing done that night. He was tired from working double shift… fuck it, no. Who was he kidding? He was tired of his _life_. Why had he thought that coming to LA was going to solve all his problems? Okay, yeah, he wasn't getting beat up every night, but what kind of big, life-changing thing had happened to him in the last few months? Getting a job in a coffee shop? Falling in love with his straight roommate? He could definitely do without any of that.

Yeah, Chris was bitter. After twenty one years of getting his dreams crushed, he had the right to be.

The front door crashed opened violently, startling him, and he looked over the back of the couch to see Darren stumbling into the apartment, his guitar case hanging from his shoulder, his messy curls messier than ever. He was panting and sweaty and had to hold himself upright against the wall not to collapse on the floor.

"Oh my god, Darren, what happened to you?" Chris asked in concern. He stood up and frowned as Darren raced towards him. When the older man threw himself into Chris' arms, Chris froze. "Are you okay? Did something happen?" He tried to pull away to check if Darren was hurt because, hey, the fatalist in Chris always expected the worst had happened.

But when Darren pulled away and looked up, he was grinning widely, showing all of his teeth, his hazel eyes bright and his dark hair falling on his forehead. "I just…" He laughed, as if he couldn't hold back his excitement. "I'm just so happy…" and, surprising Chris, he gave him a peck on the lips. "So happy," another one, as Chris just stood there, unable to breathe, unable to think, unable to react. "I can't believe what happened," now Darren's hands were cupping his face and moving him closer so he could keep kissing him in between words. "Chris, I just… _gosh_, I wish you'd been there, it was…" and now Darren released a long, growly sigh before just diving in for a real kiss.

Chris wasn't exactly sure what was happening. He was only able to register that Darren's lips were on his and that Darren's arms were circling his waist and _Darren, Darren, Darren_ was all around him.

He knew he should probably push him away because Darren couldn't just kiss him like that every time he wanted to. He couldn't play with Chris' heart like that… but Chris' body had other ideas and it started responding to Darren automatically, illogically, stupidly.

His hands were suddenly on Darren's shoulders and his head was tilting to the side for better access. His lips parted on their own accord and Darren's tongue slipped tentatively inside, tasting him almost shyly, the scruff on his face scratching Chris' skin.

He pulled away, his blue eyes wide and dazed, panting.

"W-what…" He mumbled.

"_Chris_… Chris, please, kiss me again," Darren moved forward, his mouth searching for his and the way he said those words, almost needy, almost begging, caused Chris' entire body to shake, but he pushed him away nonetheless, to clear his confusion.

"No, no…" Chris shook his head, swallowing, trying to ignore the craving to get back to Darren's. "You… you can't keep doing this to me, Darren. You can't just kiss me when you're vulnerable or happy or sad or excited about something. You just…"

"I want to kiss you because you're beautiful," Darren interrupted, frantically, his hands moving to cup Chris' face. "I want to kiss you because I think about doing it every minute of every day."

"Don't lie to me!" Chris snapped, shoving Darren's hands off him and taking a step back. "I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing with me, but I can't do this anymore!"

Darren's eyes were big and scared, bright as if he were about to cry. Chris almost regretted his words, but he knew he had to stay firm. Darren needed to understand what he was doing to him.

"I just… I think it would be better if I…" Saying it was hard, but Chris knew it was for the best. "It would be better if I moved out…"

"No!" Darren exclaimed immediately. "No, Chris, please. Please, don't leave. Don't leave me. I swear I won't kiss you again if you don't want me to, but please don't go. I like living with you, I love having you around…"

Chris' heart ached like it had never ached before. "You don't understand."

"Then help me to," Darren begged, looking so miserable that Chris wished he hadn't been the one to erase the beautiful smile off his face.

"I'm in love with you, you idiot!" Chris yelled, without even realizing what he was doing. "Don't you see? Don't you see what you do to me? You just walked into my life with your stupid smile and your gorgeous eyes and your ridiculously pretty curls and made me feel everything I thought I'd never feel for twenty one years!"

Darren's breath caught in his throat.

"And you just don't care! You play with me, you kiss me out of nowhere and then leave without giving reasons, you sleep next to me and comfort me when I have nightmares and then you go on dates and bring girls here and…"

"She is just a friend," Darren interrupted, anxiously. "Charlene," he clarified when Chris stopped mid-rant to stare at him doubtfully. "She's been one of my best friends for years. Nothing ever happened between us, not even a drunken kiss or anything…"

Chris felt his knees weakening, so he collapsed back onto the couch, letting his head fall into his cupped hands. "What do you want from me?"

"I just want _you_," Darren answered, so sincerely that Chris had to look up in astonishment. "And I know that sounds cheesy as fuck and that I may have taken my time to figure it out. I screwed everything up more than once but I… Chris, I'm not gonna lie to you, I've had several relationships before and some of them were great and others weren't, but… none of them compare to what I have with you. We're roommates and friends and, shit, I hope someday we can be more. But I totally get it if you're not ready to be with me or if you're mad because I'm such a douchebag and I…"

Chris groaned and hid his face in his hands again. "Do you ever stop talking?"

"No. Yes! I can stop. I can stop now," Darren said in a hurry, and then gestured with his hand as if he were zipping his mouth shut.

Chris was silent for such a long time that Darren started to panic, but then he finally looked up and his eyes were full of tears he refused to cry. "I… I'm scared."

Darren carefully moved to the couch and sat beside him. He settled a hand on Chris' knee and squeezed in support.

"At this point, I think I'm used to the physical pain, but… I'll never get used to the kind of pain that shatters your heart and makes you ache everywhere," Chris couldn't look Darren in the eyes and the warmth of his hand was almost burning through his pants. "And I'm just… I'll never be the perfect guy for anyone. I'll never be anyone's first choice or…" Chris paused when Darren frantically pretended he wanted to unzip his lips. He chuckled without being able to help it. Darren looked pleadingly at him and, rolling his eyes, causing a single tear to trickle down his cheek, Chris gestured over Darren's lips with his index finger and thumb, as if he were unzipping them.

"Thank you," Darren caught Chris' hand before he withdrew it away and clasped it between his. "Chris, I… Look, I'm an idiot most of the time and I never take anything seriously and apparently I'm the most oblivious motherfucker that has ever existed in this universe, but…" he scooted a little closer, until their thighs were glued together. "You've got to be the most amazing guy I've ever met and the only way you would be someone's second choice or third or last, is if they were even dumber than me."

Chris laughed softly because he didn't know what else to do and because Darren sounded so adorable that there really wasn't any other choice.

"And I can't tell you what's going to happen in a week, a month or a year," Darren lifted Chris' hand to his lips and kissed his sweetly. "But if you want to take this chance with me, maybe we can find out together…"

Chris hesitated a bit at first, but there was no denying Darren's words had melted him completely, so he finally gave up and moved forward to claim Darren's lips in a new kiss. It was slow and gentle and so, so cautious at first, but once they both realized they wanted it with the same intensity, it became open mouthed and passionate, with fingers burying in hair and shirts being fisted tightly.

Somehow they ended up lying together on the couch, cuddling closer. The television kept playing on the background and Chris' laptop had been completely abandoned but all they could care about right then was the way their hearts seemed to be beating in synchrony, lulling them both into sleep.

* * *

**Are you guys happy? Please tell me you guys are happy!**

**I wrote this last scene with the kissing and Darren being an adorable idiot even before I wrote the first chapter of this story, so I was really excited about finally publishing. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about it!**

**Have a wonderful end of Thursday/Friday/weekend!**

**L.-**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys.**

**It's been a long day, of a long week, of a month that just starts and I need it to end already. So the real reason I'm updating is because it helps with my stress, believe it or not :P**

**I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the awesome reviews you've been sending :)**

**A huge hug needs to be given to my beautiful Beta, Wutif.**

**I own nothing!**

* * *

Chris woke up to fingertips tracing the lines of his face, carefully, softly, delicately. Feeling lazy and sleepy, he opened his eyes slowly and found Darren hovering over him, smiling. He was staring down at him lovingly and Chris couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Good morning," Darren muttered, his thumb brushing one of Chris' eyebrows and then down his nose.

"Hi," Chris said, blushing a bit. He wasn't used to all of this attention, to having someone looking at him so intently, so closely.

Darren's finger followed its path, now outlining Chris' lips, sending shivers down the younger man's spine. "I've never mentioned how much I like sleeping with you..."

Chris' heart started beating a little faster. "No. No, you haven't."

"Well, I do," Darren grinned brightly. His finger moved to the outline of Chris' jaw. "But I can't decide which is my favorite part..."

Chris hummed, trying to focus both on Darren's voice and his light touch, feeling the pull of his skin wishing for more.

"I like falling asleep next to you. I like sleeping in your arms," Darren moved his hand until he could bury his fingers in Chris' hair. "And I like waking up with you, too."

Chris cupped Darren's cheek and Darren immediately nuzzled the palm of his hand. His curls were always completely out of control when he woke up in the mornings and today was no exception. But this morning he looked a million times more beautiful, something he'd never thought possible.

"I never have nightmares when I sleep with you..." Chris whispered, mostly to himself, in a surprised tone. He blinked. He hadn't realized that before. He used to have nightmares pretty much every night, but when Darren slept with him, even when they accidentally fell asleep side by side on the couch while watching a movie, his dreams were harmless. "Darren... I don't have nightmares when I sleep with you."

Darren's smile was wide. "You _do_ realize you're giving me an even better excuse to sleep with you every night, right?"

Chris chuckled, sliding his hand to the back of Darren's neck to pull him down for a kiss. They moved slowly, but a lot more certainly than the night before, letting their lips get reacquainted with each other, brushing noses as they changed the angles of their heads, Darren's stubble scratching Chris' chin the same way it had the first time.

And then Chris pushed him gently away, looking up at Darren with a shocked expression on his face. "Oh my God. I never asked you why you were so happy last night!"

It was Darren's turn to chuckle wholeheartedly. He caressed Chris' cheekbones with his knuckles, but his eyes lit up with a new kind of excitement. "Well, we obviously had more important things to worry about..."

"_Darren_," Chris frowned and pushed him away a bit more. "Come on, tell me."

Darren sat up on the couch, energy thrumming through his body with even more intensity than usual, bouncing a little. "You're not going to believe this! Shit, Chris, I wish you had been there to see it!"

Chris sat up, too, watching him intently.

"So I was playing like I always do, but yesterday I was in a Disney kind of mood because, fuck, who _isn't_ sometimes in a Disney mood, right? So I played a lot of songs from the movie soundtracks," Darren explained and his lips widened into a bigger and bigger smile. "And I fucking killed it with _Part of Your World_, man, I fucking killed it..."

"You always do, Darren," Chris laughed, putting his hand on the other man's knee and it felt so good. So weird, but so natural, at the same time, to be able to do that.

"When I was done I sat down for a moment at a table to have a beer and chill and then this guy came over and slid his card towards me... Hold on, I think I have it here," Darren started fumbling in the back pocket of his jeans until he pulled out a business card. "And he works for the goddamn Disney studios!"

Chris' were so big that they were very close to bulging out of his skull. "Oh my..."

"Wait! There's more!" Darren cut him off, ecstatic. "He told me he really liked what I did and that he was involved in a project for a new movie and that they were looking for someone fresh and talented for one of the secondary characters..."

"Are you serious?" Chris was about to freak out, if the way his voice went all high pitched was any indication.

"Serious as a fucking heart attack!" Darren twitched a bit on his spot, barely able to hold back his need to jump all around the apartment. "Chris, I'm fresh and talented!"

"Oh my God, yes, you are!" Chris stood up as well and immediately pulled Darren into a hug.

"I have to go to his office on Monday for a formal casting audition, but he said I was the best thing he'd seen in a while!" Darren's fingers were pressing into the small of Chris' back. He moved a few inches away so he could look the other boy in the eyes. "I'm not only porn material after all!"

Chris had no other choice but to laugh.

* * *

There were a lot of creepy things about Ashley, like the way she talked to her cat as if it were a real person, sometimes even consulting the indifferent animal about what she should wear or which book she should read next. She could also recite by heart every line of every episode of Sponge Bob and she had somehow started absorbing Chinese just by reading the take-out menu. But the creepiest thing of all had to be what happened later that day as soon as Chris stepped into Caffeine Fix.

"Stop right there!" Ashley yelled, narrowing her eyes. Chris stood there, paralyzed and wide-eyed, feeling all the customers' gazes on him as his friend walked towards him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Chris asked, a bit embarrassed.

Ashley stayed silent for a really long time, just staring at him and then she pointed at him with an accusing finger. "You and Darren kissed again."

Chris gaped, incredulous. "How the hell do you do _that_?"

"Just tell me there's no reason for me to go punch him in the face," Ashley replied severely.

"Oh, Ashley, please, don't even..." Chris started saying, rolling his eyes, but then the door opened behind them and Darren rushed into the coffee shop.

"There you are!" Darren exclaimed, smiling, a little breathless. "You dropped your keys in the car, dummy," he added, shaking Chris' keys in front of him.

"You shouldn't have come back for that! I could've gone pick them up later," Chris smiled as he reached to take them, but Darren hid them behind his back.

"Yeah, but I forgot something else too, and I sort of need it..." Darren answered.

Chris seemed confused. He searched into his pockets, wondering what the hell Darren was talking about. "What?"

"This," Darren cupped the back of Chris' neck and brought him closer for a quick, yet sweet kiss. "There. Now I can go through the rest of my day..."

Blushing slightly, Chris tried to act nonchalant, but failed terribly. He was a hundred percent conscious that they weren't alone there, that the coffee shop was quite crowded and that Ashley was staring at them in something that looked a lot like a mix of joy and shock. "Okay, well..."

"See you tonight?" Darren whispered, letting their fingers tangle together for a few seconds.

Chris nodded, feeling as if he were floating on fluffy clouds. "I'll see you tonight."

"Great," Darren finally tore his eyes away from Chris and acknowledged Ashley's presence for the first time. "See ya, Ash!"

"I... goodbye, Darren," she mumbled, not really sure what to say or do.

Chris stared at him as he left in that awful yellow car for a moment before Ashley snapped him out of his trance.

"You have a lot explaining to do and I hope it comes with graphics and a documentary," she said, and then she paused, thoughtful for an instant. "Oh, wow, you two are going to have a fantastic sex life..."

Chris felt himself reddening like a bashful schoolgirl. "I knew the day would come when I would regret being your friend..."

"Yeah, sure, where else are you going to find someone who's happier when you get dick than when she does?"

Chris ignored the embarrassment and pretended he wasn't wishing for the earth to swallow him.

"Chris!" Ashley followed him as he moved towards the counter. "Talk to me! Tell me everything!"

"Not until you stop being such a pervert," Chris sing-sang. He put his apron on and then turned around slightly to smile almost smugly at her.

She slapped his ass before moving to greet the next customer. "You're not getting away without giving me all of the dirty details, Colfer. You'll be all mine during lunch break."

Chris couldn't really stop smiling. He just rolled his eyes and started working, a bubble of happiness floating around him, and he just couldn't wait to get back home.

To get back to Darren.

* * *

That night, Chris barely had time to open the door before Darren grabbed his arm and pulled him into the apartment, their lips immediately crashing together.

"Hi," Darren muttered not even bothering to break the kiss to speak.

Chris smiled without being able to help it. "Hi."

He could definitely get used to this kind of welcome everyday.

* * *

Even when they went to bed separately, Chris would wake up every morning to a mop of messy, curly hair right in front of his eyes and a soft puff of breath hitting his neck where Darren hid his face to sleep.

He didn't wake up screaming in the middle of the night because of a bad dream not even once. Not when Darren was right there.

He had never felt so free before.

* * *

On Monday morning, Darren was a bundle of nerves and energy. He kept jumping around the apartment like a lit firecracker. Chris couldn't really blame him for being excited, but he still kept the coffee pot away from him: he definitely didn't need to add caffeine to the mix.

"Darren, come sit down and have breakfast!" Chris called from the kitchen area as he put a stack of pancakes on a plate.

"I'm too nervous to eat!" Darren answered as he climbed onto the coffee table.

"Well, you don't know how long this casting session will be so you need to eat," Chris insisted, pouring some orange juice into a glass and directing a pointed look at the other boy. "Come on!"

"Yes, mom," Darren rolled his eyes but obliged anyway and Chris smacked him on the arm when he was close enough. "I wish you could come with me. I'd feel so much better having you there..."

Chris gave him a sad smile. "I know. I'm sorry. I tried changing my shift at work, but no one could cover for me."

"It's okay," Darren shoved a piece of pancake into his mouth and chewed, thoughtfully. "You'll just have to give me a big good luck kiss before I go."

Chris sighed, trying to hold in his grin. "You just want an excuse to make out."

"Duh," he took a sip of orange juice and ate another bite of pancakes before pushing his plate away. "I'm done."

"No, you're not," Chris quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Please, Chris, I think I'm going to throw up," Darren whined. "What if I'm just getting my hopes up for nothing?"

Chris put his own plate down and grabbed Darren's hand in his instead. He squeezed it lightly. "You're amazing, Darren. It won't be for nothing."

Darren pouted miserably. "But what if it is?"

Chris moved a few inches so he was sitting right by Darren's side, with their thighs and shoulders pressed together. He leaned his head on the other boy's temple. "You'll still be amazing. And if this isn't your big break, then it's because something else even better is waiting for you. Something much bigger and better. So don't let it bring you down, okay?" He kissed Darren's cheek, causing a big smile to spread on his face. "But I have faith in you. I think you're going to be awesome today."

Darren seemed to relax a little bit and angled his head enough to give Chris a quick peck on the lips. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Chris smiled, too. "If you're done eating, then you should start getting ready. You don't want to be late."

"I will," Darren nodded and, after one last sip of orange juice, he stood up and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Chris was still smiling as he finished his breakfast and stacked the dirty dishes to take them to the sink. He had to start getting ready for work himself, so he went into his room to find some clothes to wear for the day. He really needed to get some laundry done soon...

Darren appeared at Chris' door, holding two shirts in the air for Chris to see.

"Chris, if you had to wear one of these for an audition with Disney people, which one would you wear?" Darren asked. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was still wet and...

Chris would've choked on his own drool because of all the beautiful skin on display, but his eyes were too busy focusing on Darren's face to wander over his body. "Darren..."

"Yes?" He said eagerly.

"Are you planning to shave before getting dressed?" Chris muttered. He couldn't remember the last time Darren had shaved and the hair covering his face was starting to have a life of its own.

Darren frowned. "I thought you liked my stubble."

"You can't call that stubble anymore," Chris answered. "It was stubble two weeks ago. Now it's a full on beard."

"I don't like shaving. My face gets all itchy afterward," Darren scratched at his chin as if to make a point.

"Maybe you're not careful enough," Chris brushed the tips of his fingers along Darren's jawline. "I think it would look better if you got rid of it for your interview. You can let it grow back afterward."

"But my eyebrows feel lonely when I shave," Darren pouted.

"I have no idea what you're talking about half of the time," Chris sighed, grabbing Darren's wrist and tugging him back to the bathroom. "Come on. Do you really want to meet some of the most important people at Disney studios looking like that guy who sleeps outside the bank?"

"Oh, that guy has such a cool beard. It's so long. I bet he could braid it..." Darren mumbled, lost in thought. The bathroom was way too small for two people, so he ended up pressed against the counter.

"I would never make out with you again if you had such a horrible beard," Chris said, putting a new razor on Darren's hands. "I already end up with a bit of a rash after..."

"Please, don't make me do this," Darren pouted even more. "My skin gets all red and irritated. It'll look worse..."

Chris sighed and patted the edge of the sink. "Okay, hop, come on."

"What?"

"Just do it, would you?"

Darren did as he was told and sat on the edge of the counter. Chris stood between his legs and opened the bathroom cabinet, looking for some shaving cream.

"What are you doing?" Darren asked, hazel eyes wide open as he watched Chris spread the white foam all over his face.

"I'm shaving you," Chris replied, as if he did that every day. "I have to be really careful every time I shave because my skin gets irritated easily, so I know exactly how to avoid that..."

There was something really intimate about letting Chris do this and Darren sat there very still for a moment, with his eyes closed, soaking in the deliciously pampered sensation. Chris' hands felt amazing on his skin and they were so close they were practically inhaling and exhaling the same air.

"You make me feel so calm..." Darren whispered, feeling his body loose and unstressed.

Chris smirked. "Funny thing to say when I'm holding a razor against your face."

Darren glanced at him intensely. "You know what I mean."

Chris returned his gaze, now completely serious. "Yes, I do."

For a few minutes, they were silent. Darren's skin was warm and Chris wanted to trace his fingers all over it. He wanted to get more familiar with the dips on his collarbone and his torso and he wanted to circle his belly button and find all the spots where he was ticklish. But instead, he managed to stay focused and shave Darren slowly and carefully.

Darren, on the other hand, wasn't a creature born to stay still for too long. At first he was content just sitting there close to Chris, but then he got restless and started swaying his legs from side to side, humming softly. Chris reprimanded him and told him not to move, but it was pointless. Darren was bored.

"Darren, stop it!" Chris said, half impatiently, half amused.

"You can't expect me to sit here for so long! How much longer?" He whined.

"It's been less than ten minutes. Don't be such a child. I'll be done soon," Chris put his finger on Darren's chin to tilt his head to the side so he could work better,

"How soon is soon?" Darren asked.

Chris chuckled. "Just... soon."

Darren frowned, but then he grabbed some shaving cream on his finger and smeared Chris' nose with it.

"Darren!"

There was a playful smile on Darren's face. "Yes?"

Chris sighed and wiped his nose clean. "You're such a silly boy..."

"Am I, now?" Darren bit his lip and put some more white foam on Chris' nose, dotting more on his forehead and cheeks.

"Oh my God, Darren, you're hopeless," Chris laughed despite himself. He was... happy. How could he not laugh? "If you don't quit playing around, we'll never be done."

"Good. Can't we just stay home and make out all day?" Darren winked seductively.

"No. I have work and you have an audition and I don't care how nervous you are, you're not skipping it," Chris kept working carefully as he spoke. "Stop trying to sabotage your own career."

"It's not like I don't have options," Darren shrugged. "I _was_ offered a big career in the porn industry, after all."

Chris put the razor down when he finished, as he laughed. "You're all set."

Darren hopped off the sink and examined himself in the mirror, closely. "It doesn't itch at all..."

"Good," Chris leaned and kissed the back of his shoulder. "Now, if you excuse me, I have to get ready for work..."

Darren tugged at his arm before he had time to take two steps away from him and pulled him until he crashed back against his chest. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Chris whispered as they kissed. "And Darren?"

"Uhm?"

"Wear the red shirt. You look incredible in that color," Chris gave him one last peck before leaving the bathroom to return to his room.

He couldn't understand why all of this felt so natural when it was so, so very new.

* * *

No matter what he was doing that day, Chris kept his cellphone in plain sight in case Darren texted him or called him to tell him how his audition had gone. He had been able to hide his nerves from the other boy quite well, but as soon as Darren was out the door, Chris' smile vanished and it was replaced by an annoying stomachache.

"No news from your boy yet?" Ashley asked every fifteen minutes and all Chris could do was shake his head and try to keep working.

He messed up a few drinks and had to do them again, earning him some annoyed looks from the customers that he frankly couldn't care less about. He was convinced Darren would be great at his audition, but he was afraid of how sad Darren could be if something went wrong. Chris had more faith in Darren than in himself, that was certain, but it wouldn't be the first time that being nervous could ruin someone's chances. He just hoped Darren would be able to control it.

Chris was handing her change to one of the customers when the door opened abruptly and Darren ran into the coffee shop. His hair was messier than usual and he was breathless. Chris could see the yellow car angled in the street right in front of the entrance. It seemed like the engine was still on.

Chris didn't even have time to react before Darren was slipping around the counter and pulling him into his arms. He tried to crash their lips together, but he was so frantic that he missed Chris' mouth and kissed his chin instead. He didn't seem to mind, though, and started peppering kisses all over the boy's face.

"D-Darren," Chris mumbled, trying to free his arms that were trapped in Darren's grip.

Darren buried his face in the crook of Chris' neck. Chris could feel his skin dampening and realized Darren was crying. He froze momentarily, bracing himself for the worst...

"I got it," Darren whispered shakily. "I got it, Chris..."

Chris moved his hand up to tangle his fingers in Darren's hair and tugged gently to force him to look up. When he did, his hazel eyes were bright with tears and he was smiling softly. Chris laughed out of sheer happiness.

"Oh, Darren, I knew it!" He exclaimed, forgetting about the line of customers and the curious glances. "I knew it! Congratulations, sweetheart!" He kissed him passionately right there and then, although he couldn't stop laughing, so it wasn't as perfect as he intended it to be. "You have to tell me everything!"

"I..."

"No, wait! We have to go out and celebrate!" Chris was ecstatic and he didn't even realize when he started jumping up and down. "I have to take you out to celebrate, yes!"

Darren laughed as he wiped his tears. "Chris, you don't have to..."

"I want to!" Chris leaned in and kissed him again. "We're going out for dinner tonight and..."

"I hate to interrupt this beautiful show, you little lovebirds," Ashley said, as she stood next to them. "But I'm gonna ask you to move your freak-out somewhere else before we all get fired."

Chris didn't spare a single glance towards the customers or his co-workers. He grabbed Darren's hands and guided him to an empty table by the corner. Before he had time to even say something, Darren bet him to it. He was smiling bashfully, and his eyes were still so bright and excited that Chris couldn't look away.

"Did you just ask me out on a date?" Darren muttered, biting on his lower lip.

Chris gaped, nervously, for a moment before realizing he had, indeed, just asked Darren out. "I... yes. Yes, I did. If you want to?"

Darren's smile grew even wider, if that was possible. "This has to be the best day of my life."

Chris squeezed his hand. "I want to know everything about your audition."

Darren covered his face with his free hand, chuckling. "I'm not sure I remember what happened. I think I played a song on my guitar and then I read a bit from a script they handed me but I just... wow. I can't believe it, Chris."

"So... what now?" Chris asked with his lips still stretched into a big smile.

"Now I have to go in later this week to sign my contract and then they'll send me the script. They told me I could get some vocal coaching if I needed to since I'll have to change my tone a bit for the character, but..." He leaned across the table to kiss Chris quickly. "I'm going to be in a Disney movie."

"You're a Disney star," Chris said, fondly. "It's just a matter of time until they give you your own show and television movie full of annoying songs no one will be able to stop humming..."

"Did you notice you called me sweetheart?" Darren blurted out, suddenly. Chris blinked, confused. "Just a few minutes ago. You called me sweetheart."

"I-I'm... sorry?" Chris hesitated.

"Don't be," Darren cupped his face lovingly. "You're always inhibiting yourself so much... it felt nice to see you forget about being in the middle of your work place and have you openly calling me that and kissing me..."

Chris blushed, not sure what to say.

Darren was still smiling. It felt as if he wouldn't ever be able to stop smiling from now on. "So... where's my beautiful boyfriend taking me out on a date tonight?"

Chris felt the flutter in his stomach when Darren used _that_ word and he was sure he would've floated all the way up to the ceiling just with the force of his happiness if it weren't because Darren's hand was still gripping his tightly.

Before he had time to say anything, Ashley's voice broke through their daze. "Yo, Darren! That ridiculous thing you call your car is being towed!"

They both looked up and Chris barely had time to register what was happening before Darren was jumping out of his seat and running out of the coffee shop to try and save his car.

Ashley appeared next to Chris, cleaning her hands on a cloth and also watching as Darren started talking to a man outside.

"You know you're never going to get bored with him, huh?" She commented.

"What can I say? My boyfriend is a mess," Chris sighed, following Darren with his eyes dreamily. Ashley glanced down at him, smirking. "He's the most wonderful of messes."

* * *

That night they went out to eat and ended up in a McDonald's, because they didn't need a big, fancy first date. Darren ate a Big Mac and a Happy Meal (_You don't have to be a kid to want the little toy, Chris_) and Chris stole a few of his fries and then they shared a chocolate sundae. They held hands the entire time and talked and laughed and were just plain happy and comfortable with each other.

Later, they got in Darren's car and drove around LA without anywhere particular in mind to go to until they ended at the beach. It was deserted and a bit chilly with the night breeze and they lay side by side on the sand, knowing they would have it everywhere in their clothes by the time they got up, but not caring. Their hands were tangled together in between them and the sky was starry and beautiful above them.

"If things go well, we could get a bigger apartment," Darren mumbled, with his eyes closed and a lazy smile on his face.

"I like our apartment," Chris answered softly. "It was a refuge for me when I didn't know where to go."

"But you don't need a refuge anymore," Darren said. "I want you to have a home with me."

Chris scooted closer and buried his face on Darren's neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent deeply. "This is home."

They were silent for a while, just enjoying the proximity of the other and sharing slow touches and sneaking kisses every now and then. The sound of the sea and each others' heartbeats were the only things they could hear in the quiet night.

Chris was almost drifting off to sleep when Darren spoke.

"Chris, baby?" Darren waited until he heard a distracted hum from his boyfriend. "I have sand in my underwear."

Chris started shaking with silent laughter, but he didn't move and Darren didn't force him to. Having him in his arms felt too nice to let go and he didn't really care about anything else.

* * *

Darren had to quit a few of his gigs because of the time his new job demanded of him. He didn't feel bad at all doing so, considering how excited he was about the movie he was working on. He was asked to get as involved as possible in it so he would know his character well, and he was learning a lot about the animation industry. It helped a lot that he truly was a Disney fan. Sometimes he arrived home with his cellphone filled with new pictures of all the amazing things he'd found at the studio and he would show them to Chris grinning non-stop, and talking a mile a minute.

Chris used most of the time he was home alone to sit down and write. He finally felt like he was getting somewhere with his script, though he knew it still needed a lot of work. At least it started looking like it was shaping up to be a decent script and not just a mess of notes and corrections.

He also went with Darren to the three weekly gigs he was still doing. Sometimes they met with some of his friends, sometimes he brought Ashley along, and sometimes it was just the two of them. The rest of the week, they stayed home, relaxing and ordering take-out, both too tired to try and venture into another cooking quest, especially after Darren tried to surprise Chris with a romantic dinner only to end up burning the oven mitts.

They slept together every night and they both knew it was getting harder (pun intended) to ignore the erections that were begging to be pressed together. But they had agreed to take things slowly, so they would pretend nothing had happened and then take extended showers (mostly, cold).

But they were happy, the happiest that they had ever been. Darren smiled, sang and jumped around even more than usual and Chris found himself feeling relaxed and unafraid. He kissed his boyfriend when he wanted to. He held his hand when he wanted to. He nuzzled into the warmth of his neck when he wanted to. He lived the life he had been denied for far too long.

In their perfect little world, they had it all.

* * *

**I hope you liked this! Please share your thoughts about it with me :)**

**Also, I wanted to clarify... some people reviewed saying Chris was a little too OOC in this story, but that's actually on purpose. This is a Chris who had to stay in Clovis and go through a lot more bullying than canon!Chris, because he didn't leave until he was 21. I feel like it's a representation of what Chris would be like if he hadn't broken free in time to go after his dreams like he did. Or at least, my very own representation! This is why this fic is AU :)**

**Again, thank you all for reading. Love you all! I hope I can give you chapter 7 in about a week or so :)**

**L.-**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone. I hope you're all having a good weekend.**

**I thought updating this would give me a reason to relax. I'm stressed, tired, moody and upset. I have one last term test this week and the first of seven finals. The next few weeks are going to be even more of a pain in the ass than the last ones. So here, have this!**

**Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are amazing.**

**As usual, I own nothing. Enjoy!**

* * *

It was just a few weeks later that Chris' insecurity returned.

Darren was sitting next to him on the couch reading a magazine and Chris had his computer on his lap and was skyping with Hannah. He talked to her on the phone every couple of days, but made sure they video-chatted at least once a week. It was nice seeing each other and even though the picture froze every now and then, Chris liked to pretend he was in the same room with his sister instead of having to see her through a computer screen.

They had just been talking about a movie they had both seen recently when Hannah just blurted out the question.

"So, are you coming home for my birthday next weekend? Mom said she'll get me whatever I want but I just want to see you."

Darren could feel Chris freezing next to him and he was about to reach to grab his hand when Hannah's image changed to Chris' mother, looking worried.

"Christopher," she said, without being able to hide the sadness. "You don't have to come here. We understand. We can take her down to LA the weekend after her birthday so she can see you, and that way you don't have to come to Clovis."

Chris swallowed and looked at Darren hesitantly. He knew his mother couldn't see his boyfriend and she was probably wondering what he was looking at. Darren squeezed his hand comfortingly, as if he was trying to say he was there, no matter what his decision was.

Chris thought of Hannah, his little sister, the girl he had sworn to himself that would always come first. He hadn't seen her in forever and he missed her so much. He felt a lump in his throat and, before he knew it, he was looking back at the camera and nodding.

"I'll be there," he said, trying not to choke on his own words. "I'll come home to Clovis for Hannah's birthday."

Karyn Colfer didn't even have time to answer, before Darren leaned closer to Chris so the camera would be on him, too, and smiled at his boyfriend's mother.

"Hi, Mrs. Colfer!" He waved. "I hope you don't mind, but I'd love to be there for Hannah's birthday, too! I'll drive with Chris and maybe I can stay for the party?"

The love Chris felt for Darren threatened to overflow his heart, but he managed to hold it back and settled for squeezing his boyfriend's hand instead, at least while his mother was watching.

He wasn't sure what he'd do without him.

* * *

Darren asked for the weekend off at the bar and café he played at every Saturday and Sunday and, on Friday afternoon, as soon as Chris was done with his shift at Caffeine Fix, they left for Clovis.

For the first forty minutes or so, the ride was nice. They listened to music and talked about their days while they had the coffees and bagels that Ashley had packed for them at the coffee shop. But as the miles between them and Clovis began to decrease, Chris grew more silent.

Darren reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze without taking his eyes off the road. "Are you okay?"

"Just tired, but I'm really looking forward to seeing my family," Chris said with faked enthusiasm.

Darren sighed and smiled sadly at him for a second. "You know that's not what I asked you."

Chris swallowed, nervously, and said nothing for a couple of minutes. He let his gaze wander, taking in the bright sky, the cars all around them and the view becoming less and less populated with every mile they drove away from LA.

"I don't know what I'm going to find there and that sort of scares me," Chris confessed at last. "I don't want to see _them_. And I definitely don't want them to see me with you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Darren..."

Darren brought Chris' hand up to kiss his knuckles. "Nothing will happen to either of us. It's not like we're going to be walking around town at midnight looking for trouble. We'll just be staying with your family..."

"You're used to San Francisco and LA and..." Chris protested, shaking his head, but Darren interrupted him.

"It doesn't matter what I'm used to, Chris. I promised I wouldn't let anything happen to you and I meant it. Even if I have to run over them with the damn car to keep them away from you, I will," Darren lifted his arm when Chris started to scoot closer and let him snuggle as close as possible, pressing him tightly against his side. It couldn't be a comfortable position for Chris, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Darren?" He muttered softly, his nose tickling the skin of Darren's neck.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you either."

Darren had to pull over and kiss Chris and hold him in his arms for a few minutes before he could focus on the road again.

* * *

Even with his boyfriend's reassuring words, Chris got really fidgety as they entered Clovis and drove through his old home town. He directed Darren, telling him which way to go, but it was obvious he was distracted and looking warily at every car and every person walking down the streets, especially since it was getting darker.

They pulled into the driveway at Chris' home and the front door immediately opened. Hannah ran out, smiling happily and the car wasn't even completely parked before Chris was out and running towards his sister, too. Darren smiled as he watched them, and he turned the engine off and climbed out so he could let them have their moment. By the time he got their bags out of the back seat, Chris' parents had joined their children in a group hug.

Chris' dad finally walked to Darren and extended his hand to shake his. "Hi, Darren. It's nice to see you again."

"Thanks for having me, sir," he answered politely.

"Let me help you with those bags," Tim grabbed Chris' bag and Darren carried his own. "Come on, guys, let's go inside."

"Oh, yes! I have dinner in the oven. It's ready!" Karyn half laughed, half wiped the tears away from her eyes, with one of her arms still wrapped around Chris' shoulders. "Oh, Darren, darling! How are you?"

"I'm fine, Mrs. Colfer, thank you," he accepted the one arm hugged she offered, before turning to Hannah. "Hey, birthday girl."

"Hi, Darren," she smiled up at him.

Karyn ushered everyone inside and she immediately went to the kitchen to check on dinner while Tim explained to Darren where the guest room was. Chris' attention was once again being claimed by his sister, so Darren decided to step upstairs to take his bag and guitar case to the bedroom he would be occupying for the weekend.

The Colfers had a nice house. It felt homey, and welcoming, as Darren walked down the hallway looking for the room Tim had told him about. He stopped to look at some pictures hanging on the wall and couldn't help the smile when he saw a little Chris obviously acting in a play, playing Snoopy. It was too cute for words.

He entered a room he thought was the guest room, but realized a few steps in that it had to be Chris' bedroom. There were some posters from musicals and superhero movies on the walls and a bookcase full of novels and old school books. A ratty teddy bear that had probably been his when he was little was on the bed, against the pillows. There was a stack of notebooks and papers on a corner of his desk, with an uncapped pen on top of them, uncapped. There was a book with a marker inside on his nightstand and an empty spot where he supposed a frame with a picture of his family used to be. It probably was the same one he had in his room back in LA now.

The whole room looked like it hadn't been touched in a while and, at the same time, it looked like someone had been there but left in a hurry, leaving behind little things, unfinished, forgotten.

Darren knew it had been exactly like that.

"Are you lost?" A soft voice asked behind him and Darren turned around to see Chris leaning against the doorway with a little smile playing on his lips.

"I thought it was the guest room, but it's not," Darren answered, taking a few steps towards his boyfriend. "I like your Harry Potter posters."

"I was sure you would," Chris brushed some of Darren's curls back. "Your room's next door. Do you want me to show you?"

"In a minute," Darren moved forward and pressed a sweet, quick kiss to his boyfriend's lips. "Are you feeling better now that we're here?"

"Yes," Chris replied, sighing in contentment as Darren's arms wrapped around his waist. He rested his forehead against the other boy's shoulder. "Thanks for coming with me."

"No need to thank me," Darren tilted his head so he could bury his nose in Chris' hair. "Do you really think I wanted to stay alone in that sad, tiny apartment? In my big, cold bed? No way."

Chris laughed and kissed his jaw. "You'll have to sleep alone here, you know."

"At least we're under the same roof," Darren grinned.

"Silly," Chris walked into the room and put his bag on the bed. "Come on, I'll show you your room and then we can go back downstairs. We'll eat in a few minutes."

Darren grabbed Chris' hand and followed him to the next room. It was pretty much the same size as his room in their apartment, but not nearly as messy. The bed seemed comfortable and the window looked over the backyard. There was a small closet and a bedside table. Darren put the guitar on the bed and the bag inside the closet.

"This is really nice," Darren said.

"My parents always insisted on having a comfortable guest room. With Hannah's health, it's easier if our family comes to stay here with us," Chris explained, straightening the comforter on the bed unnecessarily.

Before Darren could say anything, Karyn's voice came from downstairs. "Christopher! Darren! Wash your hands and come down!"

Chris' mom had made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans and Darren's stomach growled when he sat at the table and smelled the delicious food. During dinner, Chris was the one who talked the most, especially since his parents couldn't stop asking him questions about his job and his everyday life. They laughed when Chris told them about Ashley and some of her shenanigans but not once did they address the elephant in the room: Chris and Darren's relationship. It was obvious they behaved differently together than they did a couple months ago when Tim, Karyn and Hannah had last seen them, but they didn't comment on it.

There was apple pie for desert, but they decided to have it in the living room, so Tim helped Karyn with the dishes and Chris insisted on helping, but he wouldn't allow Darren to do anything, so he sat in the living room with Hannah and talked about her birthday planned for the next day.

Darren had to admit he was feeling lonely and distanced by not being able to hold Chris' hand or act as they normally would since they had gotten together, so he decided telling Hannah about them couldn't do any harm.

"Do you remember what you asked me the last time we met?" Darren said in a confidential tone, leaning closer to her.

Hannah narrowed her eyes for a moment, but then nodded.

"Ask me again," Darren smiled.

"Why do you have so many princesses movies if you're a boy?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Not that one. Try again."

Hannah was thoughtful for a few seconds, until she seemed to remember exactly what he was talking about. "Are you Chris' boyfriend?"

Darren's smile became wider and brighter. "Yes, I am."

It felt so good to say it.

* * *

When Chris went to bed that night, smiling after hugging his sister and his dad, kissing his mother's cheek and sneaking a little kiss from Darren when they parted in the hallway, he wasn't expecting to have nightmares, but they hit him like a freight train.

It was about the same thing as usual, but now that he was back here in Clovis with Darren, they seemed so much more realistic. He could see them breaking into the house and hurting his family, beating Darren until the sheets were nothing but a mess of blood. Chris was paralyzed in his own bed, hearing the screams of pain and the violent laughter and he couldn't move to help anyone.

He woke up sweating, shaking and crying, but somehow he had avoided screaming, which he was grateful for because waking up the entire house was the last thing he wanted to do. He tried to calm down, breathing heavily and feeling a horrible ache in his chest, holding his pillow closely and reminding himself that nothing had happened and that everyone was sleeping soundly. But it was impossible. His heart wouldn't slow down and the lump of anguish in his throat was choking him.

Chris knew exactly what he needed and when he was sure his legs would support him, he kicked his blankets off, made his way out of his room and stopped right in front of Darren's door. He took a deep breath before pushing it open and padding inside softly.

The room was dark. Darren's sleeping form was barely illuminated by a glow of moonlight coming from the window. He was wearing his oldest Michigan t-shirt and his curls were unruly on top of the white pillow. He was lying on his side, facing the door and as soon as he saw him, Chris felt an irresistible urge to crawl into bed with him.

He lifted the covers and slid inside carefully, trying not to wake his boyfriend up, but as soon as he tried to fit himself in Darren's arms, he felt the other boy stirring.

"Chris?" He asked sleepily.

"Ssh, go back to sleep," Chris mumbled, hating that his voice still sounded raspy from all the crying.

That woke Darren up completely. He shifted so he was almost over him, looking down at his boyfriend and trying to discern his face in the semi-darkness. Chris could see his frown of worry and wished he had stayed in his room and sucked it up.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Darren probed, sweetly. He cupped his face in his hand. "Was it a nightmare?"

The fact that Darren instantly knew why Chris was so upset was already comforting. He leaned a bit into the touch and breathed in relief, as he nodded.

"It's okay," Darren whispered, kissing his forehead. "It's okay, Chris. I'm right here. I've got you. It was just another bad dream."

"I can't sleep without you anymore," Chris sniffled, miserably.

The ghost of a smile appeared on Darren's face. "Then stay here with me."

Darren rolled to lie on his back and Chris immediately snuggled against him, burying his face in the warmth and comfort of his shoulder and neck. Darren's arms wrapped around him tightly and Chris could feel Darren's lips on the top of his head, pressing silent kisses in his hair. Their legs tangled together and their chests moved with the same rhythm as their breath evened out.

It was amazing how connected they were, how familiar with each other their bodies were when they actually hadn't been together for long. But even more amazing was how quickly Darren was able to calm him, with just a few words and a few touches.

Darren was somehow like the sun glowing in the sky in the middle of the storm that Chris' life used to be – and still was, somehow. And Chris wanted to soak up his light. He wanted it to warm his days forever, if it was possible.

* * *

Sighing in contentment, Chris opened his eyes when he felt the brush of lips against his forehead, his nose, his chin, the corners of his mouth. He was immediately presented with a blurry view of Darren's face very close to his, as his long, messy curls tickling his cheeks.

"Hey," Darren muttered when he noticed his boyfriend was awake.

"Hi," Chris lazily threw his arms around his neck and nuzzled closer to him.

"Did you sleep okay?" Darren asked with a slight vestige of worry in his voice that made Chris remember the nightmare he'd had.

"Yeah, I'm..." Suddenly fully conscious, he realized he had slept with Darren in the guest room. And judging by the light coming from the window, it couldn't be too early. "What time is it?"

"Almost eleven," Darren answered, glancing at the clock on the bedside table. "You were so tired that I..."

"Oh my God," Chris closed his eyes. "I've never slept later than nine thirty when I lived here! My mom probably went to my bedroom to look for me!"

Chris sat up in bed, ready to fly out of the room, but Darren put a hand on his chest and pushed him back down.

"Relax, Chris. You're not a kid anymore," Darren said soothingly. "You shouldn't be hiding the fact that you're in a relationship..."

"I'm not _hiding_ it," Chris replied, biting his lip. "It just makes me nervous. Everything seems so... new. So foreign."

Darren kissed the tip of his nose. "We don't have to say anything if you're not ready, but you need to know there's nothing wrong with us acting like a couple here with your family, in this house, in this town, with your family."

Chris nodded thoughtfully and Darren got up, stretching his arms over his head.

"I'm gonna take a shower," Darren announced. "Will you wait for me or do you want me to meet you downstairs?"

"I'll meet you downstairs," Chris said as he got up, too. "I better go see if my mom needs help with Hannah's birthday party."

"Okay," Darren dropped one last kiss, this time on Chris' cheek, before grabbing clean clothes and going into the bathroom.

Chris took a deep breath before pulling the door open and going out to the hallway. He could hear the sounds coming from the kitchen as he walked slowly down the stairs. He found his mother decorating a big chocolate cake while Hannah sat at the breakfast bar putting snacks into different bowls, humming to herself. He kissed the top of his sister's head.

"Happy birthday, Hannah," he smiled.

She looked up at him adoringly. "Thank you. Did you bring me a present?"

Chris chuckled. "Of course I did. It's upstairs. I'll go get it in a minute." He turned to his mother. "Do you need any help, mom?"

"No, no, it's fine..." She put the spatula she was using to spread the icing over the cake down and looked at him quizzically. After glancing quickly at Hannah, Karyn lowered her voice. "Did you... did you sleep in Darren's room?"

Chris swallowed. He had to give his mother credit for cutting right to the chase. "I..."

"Darren is Chris' boyfriend," Hannah said and somehow they hadn't noticed that she had moved to stand beside them. Chris startled a bit.

"Hannah, how do you...?" Chris mumbled, surprised.

She shrugged. "He told me last night. Can I wear my new t-shirt for my party today?"

"Darren told you?" Chris repeated. He blinked. "I..."

"Good morning!" Darren walked into the kitchen with his curls damp and a huge smile on his face that faltered as soon as he noticed everyone's eyes were on him. "Uhm..."

"You told my sister about us?" Chris asked, choking a bit on his words when he realized he had, indeed, just confirmed his mother's suspicions.

"I... yeah?" Darren smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I wanted to tell someone and I couldn't help it..."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Karyn quirked an eyebrow. "Did you think we wouldn't accept it?"

"Of course not!" Chris exclaimed. He leaned against the counter. "Look, I just... I'm still learning how to be comfortable with myself and now I have a boyfriend and it feels surreal... I didn't say anything because I didn't know how to say it."

Darren smiled and took a few steps forward until he was next to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer. He dropped a quick kiss to his temple. "You can let me do the talking in the meantime, if you want," he teased.

Chris blushed, feeling his mother's and sister's gazes on them, but feeling extremely calm. How could he feel any other way if he was surrounded by Darren's warmth? "You get to tell my dad, then."

Darren gulped audibly and the other three laughed.

"As long as you take good care of our boy, you have nothing to worry about," Karyn said, smiling, putting a hand on Darren's shoulder. "And as for what I've seen so far... you're doing a great job."

"Thanks, Mrs. Colfer. I try," Darren grinned brightly. "He takes better care of me, though..."

"Oh, gosh, shut up," Chris nudged him playfully, but he was still pretty much red. He turned back to Karyn. "So, is there anything I can help you with, mom?"

"I still haven't set the tables in the backyard, if you want to do that," she answered and Chris immediately turned to where they kept the tablecloths. "And take your boyfriend with you so he can help you move them around."

Chris and Darren exchanged a glance. They really liked how that word sounded.

* * *

Darren didn't know how numerous Chris' family was until he saw them all together at Hannah's party that afternoon. He lost count after cousin number ten and stopped trying to remember everyone's names, knowing he would fuck up either way.

They all seemed really happy to see Chris and most of them didn't really know why he had left, or even that he had _planned_ to leave. Darren made sure to rescue him when the conversations got too awkward with simple excuses like _hey, I think your mom needs you_ or _Hannah wants you to help her with something_ or _can you please remind me where the bathroom is? _Chris had smiled gratefully at him every single time.

He was introduced to everyone as Chris' roommate and Darren tried to be supportive and not get too clingy. Maybe Chris wasn't out to some of his relatives yet, or maybe he didn't feel comfortable announcing their relationship in the middle of a party. Either way, Darren understood, but he was pleasantly surprised when, right after a conversation with an uncle that seemed to never end, Chris dropped into a seat next to him and rested his head on his shoulder, throwing an arm around Darren's waist to pull him a little closer. Without being able to hold back his smile, Darren kissed the top of his head. They both forgot for a moment that they weren't alone and neither cared what anyone else thought, either.

After a little while, Chris was enlisted by his father to help with the barbeque and Darren felt weird sitting there by himself, so he went into the house to see if Karyn needed any help in the kitchen. She was cutting some ingredients for salad, so he grabbed a knife and a cutting board and started helping.

Karyn was distracted talking with a woman (Darren couldn't really remember who she was. Chris' aunt? A neighbor?) about gardening but, after a couple of minutes, the other woman's cellphone started ringing and she excused herself before leaving. Karyn turned to Darren with a soft smile.

"You don't need to help, dear. You're our guest, too," she said sweetly.

"Oh, it's fine. I want to. Chris is busy and I felt weird sitting there by myself," he answered, smiling back at her.

The conversation became trivial for a moment (_I can't believe how lucky we were with the weather. I actually heard there could be some light rain this weekend..._) before Darren actually heard Karyn swallow with difficulty. She put her knife down and leaned against the counter next to him, watching Darren intently.

"How's Chris doing? Be honest with me, Darren," she muttered in a quiet voice, probably to prevent anyone from eavesdropping.

"He's doing alright. He eats all his meals and..."

"That's not what I mean," Karyn interrupted with a pleading look in her face.

Darren put his knife down, too and looked at her. The woman seemed worried and Darren understood. It couldn't be easy to see your kid leave home because he just wasn't safe there. It had to be one of the hardest things a parent had to go through...

"Fine, I guess," he sighed. "He still seems to feel unsure about some things, but I think he's happier in LA."

Karyn nodded. "Is he taking care of himself?"

"He is," Darren assured her. He paused before continuing. "He... he has trouble sleeping sometimes. He has lots of nightmares. That's why I..." he started fidgeting, nervous. "Uhm. That's why I sleep with him, sometimes. That's why I was with him last night. He doesn't have nightmares if I'm sleeping next to him."

He had barely finished saying those words before Karyn pulled him into her arms. Darren was pretty sure he heard a little sniff as he awkwardly hugged her back.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He pulled away a bit to glance at her, confused. "For what?"

"For being there for him in a way not even his parents can," she kissed his forehead and stepped back. "I can't explain how grateful I am that he has you, Darren."

Darren smiled warmly, turning back to the counter to keep cutting. "I think I'm even more grateful for having him."

When they all sat down to eat at the big wooden table that they had set up earlier, Darren saved a seat for Chris next to his and grinned widely when his boyfriend took it. He put his hand on Chris' knee and squeezed softly and they talked quietly to each other, ignoring the guests for a few minutes, as if they needed to just be themselves for a little while to recharge their batteries.

It was late when the guests started leaving. Saying goodbye to everyone was even more exhausting than the entire day itself. Hannah went straight to bed as soon as the last person was out the door and Chris' parents moved to the living room to relax and maybe watch a movie. Darren followed Chris upstairs and into his bedroom, where they both sat on the bed.

"I'll go to my room in a minute, I promise," Darren said. "I just want to have a few minutes alone with you."

"It's okay, silly, you don't have to leave yet," Chris kissed his cheek and then sighed, tiredly. "I'm exhausted. I've forgotten how tiring it is to be around so many little kids..."

"You shouldn't have agreed to all those piggy back rides," Darren murmured teasingly, nudging their shoulders together.

"Ugh, don't even mention it. My back is killing me," Chris answered, reaching a hand behind him to try and knead at a knot on his back and not really succeeding. "I didn't think all of them would want me to give them rides..."

"You're adorable around kids," Darren tilted his head to the side and stared lovingly at him.

Chris rolled his eyes and tried to get more comfortable against the pillows, but he didn't seem to find relief for the ache traveling down his spine. He arched, and groaned.

Darren shook his head in disapproval. "Roll over, come on."

Chris blinked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Just lie on your stomach, would you?" Darren knelt on the bed and made room for Chris to lie on the center of it. "I'll give you a massage."

"That actually sounds fantastic..."

"Of course it does, come on," Darren patted the bed and Chris obliged, lying on his stomach and resting his forehead on his folded arms as he hugged a pillow tightly under him. He sat on the back of Chris' thighs, holding himself up a little so he wouldn't crush him and started working on the knot he easily found at the base of his neck.

Chris exhaled shakily. "Oh, gosh, Darren, you're really good at that..."

"Ssh, don't talk. Just relax, okay?" Darren muttered soothingly.

Humming in contentment, Chris nodded and let his body melt against the mattress. Darren carefully worked his way through all the knots in Chris' back and the younger boy got so boneless that he didn't even protested when Darren suggested he removed his shirt so he could massage him better.

Chris' skin was smooth and pale and Darren's breathing stopped for a second as his fingers twitched, eager to see what it would feel like to brush against the line of his spine, his sides, his shoulder blades...

Chris had a kind of beauty that Darren had never seen in his life before. It was almost overwhelming and it made his heart beat faster and his stomach twist with emotions that threatened to choke him with their intensity.

He leaned to brush a kiss to the back of Chris' neck, causing him to shiver. "Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?"

Chris snorted, incredulous.

"Hey, it's true," Darren insisted, as his hands moved down Chris' sides. "You have the most amazing _everything_, fuck, your eyes and your lips and your hair is so think that I... fuck, I can't even believe you'd want to be with someone like me..."

Darren could see how the blush extended all over Chris' neck and cheeks. "You're the gorgeous one in this relationship, mister..."

Darren dropped another kiss, this time right on the center of Chris' back. "Oh, well, yeah, I'm attractive as shit, I'm not saying I'm not..."

Chris chuckled at that. "And super humble too."

"Right," Darren straightened up. "Okay, stop laughing! You're getting all tense again and I'm not done with you yet!"

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry," Chris took a deep breath before relaxing one more time, hugging the pillow a bit closer.

Darren kept going until his hands reached the small of Chris' back, where the ache must have been stronger, because as soon as Darren found the right rhythm and kneaded on the right place, Chris let out a low moan that shocked Darren's body like a bolt of lightning. Darren was absolutely sure his boyfriend had no idea he was releasing such delicious noises, because he would've been mortified if he had. Darren applied a bit more of pressure and it must have been exactly what Chris needed because he involuntarily arched up towards the touch and his ass unconsciously brushed against Darren's groin... where he was hard.

The contact startled them both. Darren groaned and his fingers tightened against Chris' skin and Chris froze.

After he managed to push away the wonderful sensation that had flown through him, Darren started panicking. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Chris, I didn't mean to. I swear, I wasn't..."

"Darren," Chris said, trying to sound calm, but his voice was too affected and failed. "Don't freak out..."

"But I don't want you to think that I..."

"I liked it."

Chris' words hung in the air for a moment as Darren tried to process them. "Really?"

"Of course, I..." Chris gripped the pillow almost violently. "It feels so good... I... would you... would you do it again?"

Darren hesitated for a moment, as if he was waiting for Chris to say he was just joking and that he'd better get the hell off him. But when Chris started trying to arch back up, Darren bit his bottom lip and grounded his hips against his boyfriend's ass.

They gasped and moved together, trying to get more, to get used to this sensation that was so new to them. Darren certainly wasn't a virgin and he had tried a lot of things in his life, but somehow this wasn't the same, and not only because it was with a guy instead of a girl. It was at a deepest level in which he felt different and he thought that it probably had to do with the fact that Chris made him feel a whole new shade of things that he hadn't even dared to dream of.

"More?" He asked.

"More," Chris confirmed.

It was mostly curiosity that made them try to build up a perfect pace for both of them. That, and the fact that it felt incredible. Darren held onto Chris almost desperately, forcing himself not to go too fast, not to rush things, to give Chris time to feel.

But reality soon got in the way. Chris had just bitten back a whimper at Darren thrusting sharply against him, when they heard footsteps that could only mean that Karyn and Tim were coming up the stairs to go to bed. They both stopped, paralyzed and trying not to breathe too hard. Darren gritted his teeth to keep himself still because his cock was pressed deliciously against the crack of Chris' ass and the temptation to move was threatening to overpower the need to be quiet.

They waited with lumps in their throats until they heard the door at the end of the hall closing before Darren lowered himself and tried to kiss Chris' neck again.

"Darren, wait..." Chris pleaded brokenly. "Not now. Not here. My parents... my sister... I can't."

Darren rolled off him and faced the ceiling, willing his erection to disappear. He turned to Chris and saw the regret in his eyes. He cupped his cheek and kissed the tip of his nose. "We'll have plenty of time for that whenever we want at home. I'll just go to my room and let you..."

"No, please," Chris interrupted, his fingers closing around Darren's wrist to keep him in place. "Don't. Sleep with me. I don't want to have any more nightmares..."

Darren smiled softly, comfortingly and moved forward to kiss his lips as sweetly as he could. "Of course, honey. I'll go get my pajamas and I'll be right back."

"Okay," Chris let go of his hand and watched as Darren left the room. He heard his quiet steps in the hallway and the distant sounds of him in his bedroom as he gathered his stuff. Then another door closing, which made him think he'd gone to the bathroom. When he heard the shower starting, he knew he was right.

Chris' heart was still thrumming in his chest and he felt dizzy. Things had happened really quickly and he wasn't sure if he was ready for where they were heading. There was only one thing he was certain of, and that was that being with Darren was an adventure everyday and he was grateful for it.

It made life worth living.

* * *

The next night, while Chris showered, Darren sat outside in the backyard with his guitar and looked up at the stars as he played soft melodies. In LA it was a bit harder to actually enjoy the night sky. He let his bare toes dig into the grass and leaned back in the wooden bench, humming to himself.

"Aren't you cold?" Chris asked as he walked out of the house. His hair was still a little damp. Darren just turned his face to look at him and smiled, not stopping his humming. "It gets chilly here at night."

"We can go inside if you want to," Darren answered.

"No. Let me just..." Chris raised Darren's arm and snuggled against his side, burrowing his face against his boyfriend's hoodie. "Mm, there, better."

Darren sighed in contentment and kissed the top of his head, inhaling the nice scent of his shampoo. "Someone's cuddly tonight..."

"You've been amazing this weekend. With my parents, with Hannah, with everything," Chris nosed at his neck. "I can't thank you enough."

"You don't need to thank me," Darren tightened his arm around him. "I had a great time too."

"Part of me wishes we didn't have to leave, but another can't wait to get back to Los Angeles," Chris said. "I like being with my family, but I can't walk down the street holding your hand here. Actually... most times I can't even walk down the streets alone here," he added, a bit bitterly.

"Ssh," Darren cooed lovingly. "We don't need to think about those things now..."

Chris closed his eyes. "You're right."

They were silent, just breathing together and contemplating the beauty of the night sky, until a blanket was suddenly wrapped around them from behind. They looked up and found Karyn standing behind the bench, smiling down at them.

"Thank you," Darren said, making sure the blanket covered Chris properly.

"Do you mind if we join you guys?" She asked. In that moment, Hannah and Tim came out of the house carrying three boxes of pizza and a pack of soda. "It's a beautiful night."

"Sure!" Chris replied, sitting up a bit as Darren put the guitar down on the patio next to them. "It'll be like a nocturnal picnic!"

They moved one of the tables that they had used the previous day during Hannah's birthday party and another bench and they sat together, but Chris didn't move, still clinging to Darren and snuggling against him, too comfortable and content to move. They ate and talked about everything and nothing at all and Darren laughed at Tim's bad jokes and made Hannah giggle and Karyn smile. It was so amazing to see his boyfriend interact with his family, as if he had always been a part of it. It made him feel warm inside, as if he had made the best decision of his life when he decided to let Darren into it.

And gosh, he was sure that was true. Darren made everything a million times better. He was like a puzzle piece that fit with his family, with his mornings, with his ideas, with his rhythms.

Darren looked at him when Tim and Karyn were distracted talking about something else and Hannah had gotten up to play with the dogs. "Are you okay? You're really quiet."

"Yeah, I'm just thinking..." Chris paused and the next words left him in a soft breath, "I love you."

Darren's eyes went wide for a second. It was such a huge step for Chris to be saying those words, especially since Darren hadn't said them yet. Darren had always thought he would have to say I love you first. He thought his boyfriend would need more time to build up his confidence to say something as big as that.

But the best part about Chris was how fucking surprising he was.

"I love you, too," Darren smiled, kissing the tip of his nose.

It felt as if they weren't saying it for the first time. It just sounded so natural, as if loving each other was something they had taken for granted. But they treasured those words and they treasured every kiss, every caress, every gesture.

For once in his life, Chris felt overwhelmingly happy as his hometown surrounded him. Darren had managed to light up the darkness of his memories of Clovis and for that, Chris loved him ever more.

* * *

**So, there it is. I hope you guys liked it! As I always say, let me know what you thought of it.**

**I have no idea when the next chapter will be up. Both me and my beta have a lot going on, so I'm gonna have to ask you to be patient with me. I'll be back as soon as I can.**

**This story is almost done! Only two more chapters and an epilogue left.**

**Until next time,**

**L.-**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone!**

**Thank you so much for being patient with me. It's been crazy lately, and I'm still not even done. I have five more finals left spread out over the next few weeks, and I just want it to _end_. But I'm finally back with a new chapter! So I hope the wait will be worth it :)**

**My endless love goes to my beautiful beta Wutif who's been going through some hard times lately. I honestly can't express in words how grateful I am that I have her in my life. So go read her stories and leave some reviews for her and cheer her up :)**

**I own absolutely nothing, only a pervy little imagination. Enjoy!**

* * *

Los Angeles gave them a frantic welcome back. Darren was called into the studios unexpectedly to record something they had come up with out of nowhere and Chris decided to spend his day putting their apartment in order, since he would have to go back to work the next day, too. Then, he used as much time as he could to write, before Darren came back by dinner time, carrying a bag from their favorite take-out place.

They went to bed early, wanting to be well-rested before really going back to their routines.

Chris woke up with the alarm and stretched to reach it and turn it off, still very sleepy and tightly wrapped in his boyfriend's arms. Darren was behind him and Chris could feel the dark curls tickling the back of his neck. Once the room was silent again, Chris moved back to his place. It was then that he noticed Darren was hard against his lower back.

Chris was half-hard, too, obviously. It was morning, he slept with a very attractive man and he was only human. Part of him wanted to press back against his boyfriend and the other wanted to let the cold water in the shower take care of his problem.

Darren moaned in his sleep and shifted even closer to rut against his ass. Chris bit his lip, unsure of what he wanted to do. Darren's arms tightened around his waist and his lips brushed his neck. Chris swallowed nervously.

"_Chris_," Darren groaned, starting to move a bit faster.

Chris' stomach jumped inside of him. He wondered for a moment if he would need to rush into the bathroom for a much different reason than the one he initially anticipated.

The soft, whiny noises Darren was emitting behind him made Chris' heart thump wildly in his chest. His whole body was urging him to move, to join Darren's rhythm, to enjoy it, but his stupid mind wouldn't shut up and his thoughts were so loud that he couldn't even make out what they were screaming at him.

He reached behind him to still Darren's movements. "Darren? Darren, wake up."

That was all that took for Darren to stir and immediately realize what he had been doing. He jumped out of the bed so quickly that he almost knocked Chris out of it, too, and stared down at his boyfriend with wide eyes.

"Oh my God, Chris, I'm so sorry," he mumbled, still sleepily.

Chris' eyes involuntarily traveled down his boyfriend's body, where the strain of his erection in his loose pajama pants was apparent. Darren's hands went instantly down to cover himself.

"I-I..." Darren's cheeks were flushed and Chris hadn't had many opportunities to see him embarrassed and uncomfortable before. He decided it wasn't something he liked to see. Darren was always so free-spirited, so carefree... seeing him like this was so weird. "I'm just gonna go... you know, get breakfast started or something..."

And without another word, he practically ran from the bedroom and into the living room, leaving Chris alone with his thoughts. He seemed to start calming down as soon as Darren's warmth wasn't enveloping him like an extra blanket on their bed.

Chris could hear him curse as he moved around the kitchen. He felt like an idiot. He knew he was letting his fears get in the way of his relationship with Darren. His body was more than willing to take the next step with him, but something in the back of his mind kept asking him to protect his heart. Chris had spent most of his life being told that he wasn't good enough, that he was disgusting, that no one would want him… and deep down inside, he was terrified of Darren changing his mind about him. he was terrified of Darren seeing him in a way no one had ever seen him, and deciding that all those others who had made Chris' life a living hell were right.

He knew Darren wasn't like that. He knew Darren was nothing like those idiots. But every time he looked himself in the mirror, he still saw all the flaws and unattractive qualities. Chris wanted to be perfect for Darren. He wanted it so much…

They had said I love you for the first time, so it was silly to be feeling like that, right? Darren didn't care about how he looked… he loved him for who he was…

Right?

He remembered how good it had felt to have Darren pressed against him, not only just a few minutes ago but back in Clovis when they've had gotten carried away. The desire had spread through him with a strength he had never experienced before.

Chris rolled on his side and hugged the pillow Darren had used, burying his face in it. He sighed, thinking about how tired he was of being afraid and of letting judgement, ignorance, intolerance and all those bad feelings that filled the world lead the direction of his life. He wanted to be the one who chose the course his life took. He wanted to be the one making the decisions, without having to stop and consider what others thought. He wanted to fucking _live_ his life. But, mostly, he wanted to be unafraid, because he had let fear be his guide for too many years and, for once, he knew he had a shield against adversity in the love Darren showed him every day.

Without allowing himself more time to think, because thinking led to nerves and nerves led to chickening out, he got out of bed and walked out of the bedroom with sure steps and his heart still steadily thumping against his chest.

Darren's back was to him. He was just finishing setting up the coffee machine and Chris heard some quiet whispers and realized Darren was still reprimanding himself in a low voice, upset about what had happened when he was in bed with his boyfriend.

He was still talking when he turned around to move to the fridge. "… so stupid. I bet he freaked out and now I won't… oh, hey, Chr-"

Darren couldn't even finish talking before Chris pushed him back against the counter and started kissing him breathless. Chris' hands settled on Darren's hips, as if he needed to hold on to something to feel grounded.

Darren was clearly confused at first and it took a few long seconds before he started kissing back hesitantly and then he completely lost it when Chris slid their tongues together.

They had to pull away for air eventually and Darren leaned his forehead against Chris' shoulder.

"What was _that_?" He asked with a hoarse voice.

Chris turned his head to the side so he could nibble at Darren's earlobe. "This is me trying not to be afraid of wanting you so much…"

Darren groaned. "Chris…" He moved even closer to his boyfriend. "I don't want you to feel like we _have_ to do anything just because…"

"No, Darren, no," Chris shifted to fit their hips together. Darren gasped. "I want to learn to let you love me. All of me…"

Darren swallowed audibly. The outline of Chris' erection was trapped against his hipbone and his hands were twitching, wishing he could touch and caress and discover all of Chris' beautiful skin…

"I'm just…" Chris exhaled loudly. "I'm just scared you won't like what you see…"

Darren lifted his head to look into his boyfriend's stunning blue eyes. They were so wary, so full of nerves, that Darren wished he could just wrap Chris in his arms and sway him back and forth, cuddling him to his chest.

"Chris," he said, as calmly as he could when his own erection was pressing against his boyfriend's leg. "Listen to me, and believe when I tell you I'm not saying this just because I want to get in your pants," he paused to smile at him and brush his sleep-dishveled hair back. "I love you and everytime I look at you, I can't believe someone as gorgeous as you would want to be with a big-haired goober like me…"

"Don't say that," Chris muttered, tangling his finger in one of Darren's curls. "I love your hair."

"And I love yours," Darren let his own fingers bury in Chris' hairline and massaged his scalp softly. "And your eyes," he moved forward to kiss each of Chris' eyelids, "and your nose. It's so cute," he kissed the tip of it, making Chris giggle. "And your cheekbones," he kissed each of them and then trailed down, slowly, towards Chris' mouth. "And your lips…"

They kissed passionately, desperately, feeling as if they couldn't get enough of each other. Chris clung to him, gripping Darren's shoulders tightly. When they pulled away, needing to breathe, it was a wet, popping sound that resounded through the otherwise silent kitchen.

"_Darren_," Chris practically whined, letting his desire consume him completely.

"Tell me what you want," Darren whispered into his ear, flicking his tongue around the shell. "Tell me what you want and you can have it…"

"This," Chris moaned as he thrust his hips forward, starting a slow, yet amazing pace. "Just this."

"Bed?" Darren proposed as he joined him.

"No," Chris moved his hands to the back of Darren's head and fisted his curls loosely. "Here."

They kept rutting against each other, changing the angle of their hips to make them fit even more perfectly. Darren's lips were everywhere: in Chris' neck, his ear, his mouth, his jaw. It was as if he couldn't get enough of kissing him, as if he needed to taste every inch of his skin.

Chris was having trouble trying to hold back the noises of pleasure that were trying to escape from his throat. He was biting so hard on his own lip that he was sure it was going to start bleeding soon. When Darren moved to kiss him on the mouth again, he noticed what he was doing and started licking at the same place Chris was biting to make him let go.

Chris' hands tighetened in Darren's hair and his hips stuttered before gaining even more speed, practically slamming Darren against the counter behind them. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge and when Darren let his hands wander down to grab at Chris' ass, he couldn't help it anymore. He moaned loudly and threw his head back, Darren's lips immediately attatching to the hollow of his neck, and then he came long and hard.

Darren groaned and tilted his hip to keep rubbing himself at Chris' leg instead and it didn't take too much longer for him to follow. His orgasm hit him like a freight train as he inhaled with his face still buried in Chris' neck, and the combination of his boyfriend's scent and sex in the air was too much for him to take.

The kitchen was filled with the sound of their panting breaths as they tried to recover. Darren seemed to do it quicker, and he immediately started kissing Chris' face, frantically, as he kept murmuring _I love you, I love you, I love you_.

Chris untangled his fingers from Darren's hair, realizing it must have gotten painful at some point and looked down at his boyfriend with pleasure-dazed eyes. His lips were red and swollen and his cheeks furiously blushed. There was a red mark forming on the base of his throat and he looked seriously debauched.

And he felt damn great.

"Was that okay?" Darren asked, needing to make sure they hadn't crossed any lines they shouldn't have crossed.

Chris nodded. "I loved it. I love _you_."

They held onto each other, wishing they didn't have to move, wishing they could just stay in their tiny kitchen all day just making each other feel loved. But they both had to go to work and time didn't stop just because they had gone through something new and intimate together. The world kept spinning around.

"I need to get out of these pants…" Chris said eventually and they both chuckled.

Darren kissed his temple. "You can shower first. I'll finish with breakfast…"

Chris moved away from his arms but pecked him quickly on the lips before walking to the bathroom. It should've felt as if something completely life-changing had happened, but Chris realized it felt natural. Just as with everything they did together, it seemed as if it was meant to be.

* * *

Once they were both showered and they washed the dishes they had used for breakfast, Darren offered to drive Chris to work. Caffeine Fix was in the way to the studio where Darren recorded for the film, so knowing it wouldn't be that much trouble, Chris accepted.

They listened to the radio, as they usually did when they were in the car together, and Chris teased his boyfriend about the fact that he knew every single song that came on, even the ones that belonged to those artists that had a vast fanbase of mostly twelve year old girls.

"I think I'll get another coffee while I'm here," Darren said as he parked the car in front of the coffee shop. "Apparently, I have a long day ahead."

"Sure, I'll make it for you," Chris smiled and opened the door to climb out of the car.

They entered the coffee shop hand in hand and Chris pulled Darren along to the back of the counter, where they both greeted Ashley.

"Hey, loverboys," she grinned at them as she wrote someone's name on a paper cup. "Did you two have a nice weekend?"

"It was great," Darren answered as Chris put on his apron and moved to start making his coffee. "His family is lovely."

"Now that you two came back maybe we can do something together soon," Ashley said while she started mixing a customer's drink. "Dinner or movies or drinks. Anything. I'm bored as hell."

"Whatever you want, I'm on board," Darren said enthusiastically. Chris gave him his coffee. "Thanks, love. I'll see you tonight?"

"I'll see you tonight," Chris nodded and Darren gave him a peck on the lips before kissing Ashley's cheek and practically running out of the store towards his car.

"You won the lottery with that one," Ashley said as she gave the customer his drink and got ready for the next one. "He's cute and he's got a nice ass…"

Chris blushed, memories of that morning rushing into his mind. "I still don't know how I managed to get so lucky." He turned to the girl that had moved to the beginning of the line and smiled at her. "Good morning! What can I get you?"

"I want a different barista, please," she said coldly.

Chris blinked in confusion. "I'm… sorry?"

"I want someone else to handle my order," she replied, looking at him with sharp green eyes.

"Is there a problem, miss?" He asked, as patiently as he could.

"Yes. I don't want a fag touching my food," she crossed her arms over her chest. Her hair was dark and her skin obviously artificially tanned. She couldn't be much older than Chris or Ashley. "So get someone else, right now."

Chris was frozen. His hands twitched where they were resting on the counter next to the computer where he rang in the orders. He could feel the rage spreading all over his body. He had just arrived from Clovis, where he had been bullied all of his life, where he had gone with his boyfriend and had faced absolutely no trouble at all. And now that he was in a place where he thought he was accepted, this happened? He was so tired of intolerance and people who thought had the right to judge everyone else…

"It's okay, Chris," he heard Ashley saying, as she moved to stand beside him. She pushed him aside a bit to stand on his spot. "What can I get for you?"

Chris could feel his face on fire and he kept his eyes on the floor because he knew that if he looked at that stupid girl once more, he would jump across the counter and punch her in the face.

"I want a non-fat cappuccino and a bagel," the girl answered.

"Coming right up," Ashley turned around and started working on her drink

Part of Chris wanted to scream at Ashley, too, to ask her why she was doing this, why she wasn't cutting that girl to pieces, why she was being extra nice to someone who was such a bitch…

But Chris understood, even when he was so mad. Ashley couldn't risk her job, just as Chris couldn't risk his, and that was the reason why he was quiet and just waiting for that girl to disappear.

Ashley set the cup on the counter and then grabbed a bagel and put it in a paper bag. Before handing it to the girl, she spat into the bag, loudly and in plain sight of the entire coffee shop. "There you are, sweetheart. Can I get you anything to put on your bagel or will your homophobia be enough?"

Chris' eyes went wide. The girl opened her mouth in disgust and stared at Ashley as if she was crazy. Which she probably was, but Chris had to admit he loved her for it.

"Oh my god, you're both so sick!" She said, completely horrified. "I'm never coming back to this place!"

"Oh, no! How will we survive?" Ashley exclaimed, covering her mouth in fake desperation. The girl turned around and started rushing out the café. "Please, come back! I don't know what I'll do if I need to spend the rest of my days without admiring the ugliness of your orange tan!"

The coffee shop was in absolute silent after the girl slammed the door shut. Chris was still gaping at his friend in shock as Ashley dropped the bagel and cappuccino into the trash can.

"Show's over, people, get back to your own business!" She exclaimed. "And don't worry, your drinks are all clear!"

"Ashley…" Chris whispered.

"Can you get the next customer, Colfer?"

"Yeah, sure, I…"

"Good. I'll go clean the tables, then."

Chris watched her in awe for a moment, before turning awkwardly to the next guy in line and already wishing this day could come to an end.

* * *

When Darren got home that night, Chris was lying on the couch, wearing one of his boyfriend's hoodies and sweatpants and staring into nothing. Darren sighed, dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and walked to him.

"Scoot over, come on," he simply said, gesturing for Chris to do exactly that. Instead, Chris sat up. Darren rolled his eyes and sat next to him before pulling him to lie across his lap. "Are you okay?" He asked as he ran his fingers through Chris' thick hair.

Chris nodded absently. "Yeah."

"Ashley texted me," Darren muttered. "She told me what happened. She was worried about you."

"I was just upset," Chris shrugged.

"You don't look upset now," Darren pointed out.

"I'm not upset anymore. I'm just sad." Chris turned so he could look up at his boyfriend. "What is it about me that makes people want to throw their hate at me?"

"Oh, honey," Darren wrapped his arms around him as best as he could. "It's not you. It's society. This world's still fucked up, but that doesn't mean it's your fault."

"I just…" Chris sighed, exhausted. "I just wasn't expecting it. I was so happy this morning. We had a great weekend when I actually expected it to be a disaster. I was ready for hate and disgusted looks in Clovis. But I thought I had left that possibility behind as soon as we got back here…"

"Stupidity and ignorance aren't a matter of geography, Chris," Darren said bitterly. "There are ignorant assholes everywhere."

"It's like I can't escape…" Chris bit his lip, probably trying to hold back some tears, and Darren's heart broke a little.

"You don't need to escape. You just need to be the better person," he leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Tell me something. Are you happy with me?"

"Of course I am," Chris answered immediately.

"Then that's all that matters," Darren smiled at him. "Next time something like this happens, just remember that. Remember that you get to come home to me, that you get to go to sleep with someone who loves you more than anything in the world… and what do those idiots have? They live in the dark because they aren't clever enough to see that love is love, and that it comes in different shapes and colors. They have hate and we have each other. Who do you think is the winner here?"

Chris smiled softly. "Me," he answered. "Because I have you."

Darren's lips were stretched into the biggest smile ever when he leaned again so he could kiss his boyfriend. "I love you."

"I love you more."

They didn't say anything else for a while. Holding each other was more than enough.

* * *

Chris still went to, at least, one of Darren's gigs every week. Darren didn't have one each night as he used to, since he was busier now, but he hadn't wanted to cancel all of them. He had a great time performing, and he would always prefer giving up sleep to do that.

Usually, Darren would pick Chris up at Caffeine Fix if Chris had a later shift and they would drive together, sometimes with Ashley, sometimes just the two of them. Some of Darren's friends would join them randomly and they would all go out for burgers and fries after. But that day, Darren texted his boyfriend to let him know he would be arriving a little later because he was stuck in traffic somewhere, so Chris decided to go to the little, cozy café on his own.

It was still early when he got there, so he sat at his favorite table, grateful that he had his laptop with him that day. He had been writing almost obsesively lately and his screenplay was almost completed. He was going through a revision, before writing the final scenes. He didn't know what he was going to do with it once it was entirely written, but he would figure it out when the time came.

He was deleting something that for some reason he had considered funny at three in the morning when he wrote it, but didn't make sense now, when a shadow fell on his keyboard and he looked up to see what caused it.

"Hi," it was a man, probably a few years older than him, with blonde hair and dark eyes. "I couldn't help but notice how lonely you look right now. Would you like some company? I'll buy you a drink."

"Uhm," Chris blinked in confusion for a few seconds. Was someone really trying to hit on him? "Actually, I'm busy."

"Oh, come on. It's Friday night! I'm sure you can relax and have a drink!" The stranger smiled charmingly as he took the seat opposite to Chris, who arched an eyebrow, incredulous. This guy really couldn't take a hint. "What would you like to have?"

Chris kept typing on his computer, nonchalantly. "Nothing. I'll have a drink when my boyfriend gets here."

"Boyfriend?" The guy chuckled. "You're too pretty to waste your time with a boyfriend. You should relax and have more fun."

"I have plenty of fun with him, thank you. Now please, leave me alone," Chris smiled a phony smile at him. "Goodbye."

"Oh, come on…"

"Dude, take a hint," Darren said, rolling his eyes, as he stood next to where Chris was sitting. "He said no. Hi, honey," he added as he leaned, smiling, and pecked Chris on the lips.

"Hi, sweetheart," Chris' smile became sincere and bright in just a second. The guy stood up and left, mumbling something about stupid couples being lame. "Gosh, what a douche."

"I can't blame him," Darren shrugged. "I wouldn't take no for an answer with a guy like you, either."

"I wouldn't say no to you," Chris winked at him, smirking suggestively.

"Oooh, I like the sound of that," he kissed his boyfriend cheek and glanced at the computer screen. "How are you doing with your screenplay?"

Chris sighed. "I'm almost done, but I still don't know if it's any good or not…"

"Would you let me read it when you're done?"

"Will you be honest and tell me the truth if it sucks?" Chris looked at him pointedly.

"I promise I will," Darren nodded earnestly.

"I was thinking about asking Ashley to read it, too, so I could have two different opinions," Chris' eyes fell back on the words reflected on the screen. "I just hope I'm not doing this in vain."

"Nothing's in vain," Darren kissed the top of his head (_seriously, he couldn't stop kissing him_). "I'm gonna go get ready and we'll talk afterward, okay? I'll take you out to eat."

"An improptu date? Sounds good to me," Chris smiled at Darren as he walked away and then turned back to his computer. There was a time in which he'd believed nothing in his life had a purpose or a solution. And then he had met Darren.

So now Chris believed that everything would be alright, eventually.

* * *

It was a Sunday morning when Chris finally printed the script and handed it to Darren, as he took a deep breath. He had rarely allowed someone to read his stuff. Hannah had always been the one with the most reading privileges, especially since most of the stories he had written when he was younger had been fairy tales he had created for her.

Darren took the pages reverently and went back into their room (the one that had been originally his, but Chris had moved in with him a few weeks prior. Now Chris' room was sort of an office where he locked himself up to write and a place where they kept all the other things that they couldn't fit anywhere else), leaving Chris in the kitchen. Feeling anxious, he started washing the dishes they had used for breakfast and, once that was done, he looked around for something else to keep him busy. Their fridge was pretty much barren, so going to the grocery store seemed like a good idea.

He walked to their bedroom. Darren was lying on his stomach on top of the messy sheets and pillows, with his feet in the air and swaying them back and forth distractingly. He was still only in his underwear and Chris allowed himself a few seconds to just stare at how good his ass looked in those tight red briefs, before speaking quietly.

"Dare? I'm gonna go to the grocery store for a moment, okay?"

"Ssh, I'm reading."

Chris rolled his eyes as he turned around to walk into the other room, where he still kept all of his clothes, to get dress. "Dork."

By the time he arrived back at the apartment, Darren was still in the same position, reading. Chris put the things he had bought in their place and then flipped through the channels of the TV really quickly, a little bored. He heard Darren chuckling quietly and, starting to feel a bit too anxious, he turned his laptop on and tried to guess which page his boyfriend was reading and if it was a scene he had meant him to laugh at or if he had written it so horribly that Darren was just laughing at it because it sucked.

Finally, glancing at the clock, he went back to the kitchen area, trying to decide what to make for lunch and wondering if Darren was hungry or not. He wasn't hungry himself, but he needed to do something, anything, as he waited for a verdict. Because it felt like a verdict, somehow.

He ended up making some sandwiches and he was in the middle of spreading some mayonnaise on a slice of bread when he suddenly felt a pair of arms sneaking around his waist and holding him tightly. He turned his head to the side in time to see Darren burying his face on his neck, the black, plastic rim of his glasses digging against his skin.

"Darren?"

"You're fucking amazing," Darren mumbled against his shoulder.

"I…"

Darren flipped him around so he could face him and kissed him noisily, almost obnoxiously. "My boyfriend is going to be a big Hollywood screenplay writer."

Chris rolled his eyes. That seemed to be all he could do around Darren sometimes. "Oh, please…"

"I mean it," Darren's eyes were bright and his smile wide and just beautiful. Always beautiful. "You're so talented. I knew you had it in you, Chris, but… reading this, having real proof of what you can do…"

"I haven't done anything yet…" Chris said, blushing slightly. "It could end up in the trash can in a few months because no one wants to do something with it…"

"No," Darren shook his head, determined. "You're not the kind of guy whose work ends up forgotten. You're the kind of guy who makes a change, who marks people…" He moved forward to give him another kiss. "Chris… I'm being completely honest with you. You're smart, you're witty, you're funny and you sure as hell know how to bring people to tears, too."

Chris bit his lip, nervously. "You really think so?"

"Yes," Darren answered without any hesitance in his voice. "I've never read anything like this."

Chris' face almost split in half when he smiled. "Thanks for reading it."

"Thanks for letting me read it," Darren grinned widely. "I can't wait until it's a real movie and it's picked up to be at some huge festival and you walk down the red carpet and everyone takes pictures of you…"

"Oh my god, shut up," Chris chuckled, rolling his eyes one more time.

"… and everyone will be like _Chris, Chris, look this way, look this way_," Darren started pretending he had an imaginary camera in his hands and was trying to take pictures of him. "_Chris! How does it feel being nominated for an Oscar?_"

Chris snorted and pushed him away, unable to stop laughing. "You're such an idiot…"

Darren kept pretending to follow him around like a paparazzi. "_Chris! Who's that stunningly attractive man walking next to you?"_

"You mean Hugh Jackman?" Chris smirked playfully and Darren gasped, offended, holding a hand to his chest.

"How dare you? Does that mean you're going to leave me as soon as you become rich and famous?" He started chasing him around the living room, Chris still laughing uncontrollably. "You're just going to forget about me and date a hot Australian instead?"

He finally caught him and they both fell on the couch. Darren started tickling him and Chris did his best to stop him, shaking with laughter, with his face red and his stomach twisting and tensing in the most amazing way because he just couldn't stop.

The only thing he thought could be effective actually worked: he fisted Darren's hair and brought him in for a kiss, causing Darren to instantly melt against his body and start kissing back.

When they parted, Chris' eyes were sparkling and his lips a bit swollen. Darren smiled softly at him, but before he could say anything, Chris threw his arms around his neck to pull him even closer.

"I'd never leave you. Not for a hot Australian, not for anyone," he assured sweetly. "I love you, Darren."

Sighing in contentment, Darren settled more comfortably on top of him, wrapping himself around his boyfriend. "I'd never let you go anyway, so don't even try."

Too happy to move, they stayed there, together, forgetting about lunch, forgetting about the world, forgetting about everything that wasn't the silent promise of forever that was floating around them in the air.

* * *

Ashley dropped the stack of pages on the counter in front of Chris, startling him just when he was about to steam some milk and spilling it all over the wooden surface. He blinked at her.

"If you don't start doing something to make this movie happen, I'm going to steal this script, claim that _I_ wrote it and do it myself," she said severely. "You've been warned."

Chris knew that, coming from his best friend, that was one hell of a compliment.

* * *

Flopping down on the couch, Chris sighed, exhausted, and gratefully accepted the Diet Coke Darren handed him.

"You took it everywhere?" Darren asked. Chris nodded. "All of the indie studios, too?"

"Everywhere," Chris replied. He opened one eye to look up at his boyfriend. "Now it's just a matter of hoping someone will like it."

"They will," Darren leaned down to kiss his forehead and then spoke again in a cheerful voice. "So, what are you in the mood for, today? Chinese? Pizza?"

He ended up being in the mood for cuddles. Darren didn't object.

* * *

**So there it is! I hope everyone liked it! Please share your thoughts with me :)**

**There's only one chapter left and the epilogue. I don't know when I'll be able to update again, but hopefully it'll be soon.**

**Thanks so much for reading!**

**Love,**

**L.-**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone! **

**I'm back at last with this last chapter of ABITC. But no worries, there's still an epilogue left!**

**Thanks so much for all the beautiful comments/messages/reviews you've been sending me. I appreciate every single one of them and every single one of you who take the time to read :)**

**Once again, huge thanks to my amazing beta, Wutif.**

**I own nothing!**

* * *

A couple of months passed.

No one called.

Darren had to stop Chris from deleting the script from his computer four times.

* * *

It wasn't that Chris hated Caffeine Fix.

He really didn't.

That's where he had met Ashley and that girl certainly lit up his life every single day.

It was just that he couldn't help but wonder if he would be serving coffee for the rest of his life.

And even though he had Darren and that was more than enough to joyfully embrace the life he had, he wanted to be his own person. He wanted to be someone he had always dreamed of being.

He wondered if rejection would ever stop being a part of his life.

* * *

Hannah called.

"Darren told me you're upset. Why are you upset?"

"Does he tell you everything these days?" Chris sighed and leaned back against the pillows on their bed. "I'm just disappointed. You know how much I like to write, how much I wanted that to be my life…"

"Did you write the book?"

Chris frowned. "Book? What book?"

"The book! The one about the twins! That story you used to tell me all the time before I went to bed!"

"No, I…" Chris hesitated. That fairy tale had been buried in the back of his mind for many years. He had stopped believing in them somewhere along the way.

"Write it. It was really good."

Hannah had always been his weakness. He couldn't say no to her.

As soon as the call ended, he turned his laptop on and, opening a new document, typed the title _The Land of Stories_.

* * *

Darren peeked into the room and saw Chris writing, completely absorbed that he didn't even notice his boyfriend standing a few feet away from him.

He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and sent a text to Hannah.

_Thank you._

* * *

Ashley apparently had picked up the habit of slamming things down on the counter to get Chris' attention. He arched an eyebrow at her, absolutely unimpressed by it.

"What is that?" He looked at the piece of paper she'd had the need to set down so violently in front of him.

"There's a contest," she said. "You need to submit your script before the end of the month."

Chris huffed, annoyed. "Ashley, we already talked about…"

"Colfer, get your damn script into the contest," she interrupted, menacingly.

He ignored her and turned back to the blender where he was mixing a frappucino.

Two minutes later, his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text from Darren.

_Listen to Ashley or I'll send it myself._

* * *

Chris sent the stupid script, mostly so both Darren and Ashley would shut up about it.

* * *

It was rare for Chris to have weekends off lately. Another of the baristas had gotten pregnant and left a month ago, so he was covering for her, leaving him with free days only during the week.

It didn't really bother Chris all that much since Darren had finished recording his voice role for the movie and had gone back to playing gigs, although the people from Disney had been absolutely charmed by him and it was just a matter of time until they called him for another project.

Though it wasn't usual to have lots of rainy days in Los Angeles, the sky had been grey the entire morning of Chris' day off. He and Darren had woken up lazily in a tangle of limbs and naked skin and, after a hot make out session, a shower together and breakfast in bed, they started discussing their plans for the day. They ended up deciding to go buy some DVDs, since they hadn't watched any new movies in a while and the day was perfect to stay inside and cuddle on the couch.

That's how they ended up walking down the aisles at Target, inspecting the different DVD cases and trying to decide which ones they wanted to buy. Darren already had five movies tucked securely under his arm and Chris couldn't convince him to pick just one or two. He wanted them all.

Both seemed to be in a superhero kind of mood. Darren had the latest Iron Man in his hand as Chris studied a new special edition set of Batman movies when Chris' cellphone started ringing in his pocket. He fished it out, distractedly.

"Hello."

Darren frowned, unable to decide on which movie to take. He looked between Iron Man and the little pile he was carrying around, wondering if he would be able to get away with buying all of them. Maybe if he bought Chris a huge chocolate bar…

"Wait, what?" Chris' eyes were wide with shock when Darren turned to look at him, surprised to hear his voice had gone so high. He looked half terrified and half about to start freaking out right there in the middle of Target. "You… I… of course. Yes. Yes."

Darren moved a little closer to see if maybe he could listen to whatever the person on the other end was saying, but Chris shushed him away with his hand.

"Yes. My e-mail. Okay, I got it," he sounded breathless and Darren was more and more confused. "Thank you so, so, so much. See you then."

Chris' hands were trembling when the call was over and Darren stared at him, expectantly, as he put the phone back in his pocket and clutched the Batman movies against his chest as if they were a teddy bear.

"What was that about? Is everything okay?" Darren asked, worried.

"I…" Chris swallowed. His blue eyes were threatening to bulge out of his head. "My script."

"You… _Struck by Lightning_? What's with it?" Darren frowned even more.

Chris nodded as his chest started moving agitatedly as he panted. "It was selected. Darren… I won that damn contest. Darren…"

The almost girly scream that came out of Darren's mouth startled a few shoppers that were near them as he dropped the DVDs in his hands and launched himself at his boyfriend, kissing him franctically.

"Oh my god! Chris!" He kissed his nose, his cheeks, his mouth, his forehead, everywhere he could reach, as Chris remained frozen in his arms. "Baby, you did it! You did it! I knew you could do it!"

Chris was obviously on the verge of hysteria. "Darren. Oh my god, oh my god. My script. A movie. My script."

"What did they say?" Darren wanted to know.

"I have to go in for a meeting tomorrow," Chris explained, paler than usual. "They sent all the details to my email…"

"Oh shit, we have to call Ashley and Hannah and your parents!" Darren started bouncing up and down, excitedly, as Chris was still too shocked to react. "And let's call my parents, too! Let's call everyone!" A lady was passing next to them and Darren hugged her out of nowhere. The woman clearly panicked and tensed, looked ready to scream. "My boyfriend is going to be a movie star, ma'am!"

Five minutes later they were being escorted out by security, not caring that they hand't bought anything at all.

* * *

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck_," Chris kept pacing around the room in his underwear as Darren went through his closet, trying to help him find something to wear. "Is this how you felt when you had that casting call at Disney? I don't like this, Darren. I'm nervous. I can't do it."

Darren picked up a shirt he loved on Chris and put it down on the bed, careful not to wrinkle it. "Yes, this is exactly how it felt. But you're going to be amazing, so don't worry about it."

"I can't _not_ worry about it!" Chris shrieked. He looked at his boyfriend miserably. "Can't you go for me? I'll ruin it. Say you're me. They've never seen me. They won't know."

Darren sighed, put his hands on Chris' shoulders and guided him back to sit him down on the bed. "Okay, sit there. We have some time."

"Time for wha-" Chris cut off and shrieked again when Darren pulled his briefs aside as he knelt down between his legs. "What are you doing?!"

"Helping you relax," Darren said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You shaved me, I'll suck you. Fair's fair."

"I don't think that's the same thi-… oh my god, _Darren_," Chris choked when Darren simply leaned down and took him in his mouth, pressing his tongue against the underside firmly and going down, down, down. He didn't know if he wanted to grab his hair to pull him off his cock or to keep him in place.

They had done this several times already. After that time they had come together in the kitchen, they had explored each other freely. They hadn't gone all the way yet, but they knew that day was getting closer and closer the more comfortable they felt with the things they did together. Chris loved this, loved feeling Darren's wet, hot mouth around him and he was so lucky that his boyfriend was not only enthusiastic, but so fucking remarkably good at it. He had gagged a bit the first time, but the following ones had been smooth and perfect and Chris always lost control when the tip hit the back of Darren's throat and, sometimes, kept going.

Like right now.

"D-Darren, please," Chris' hips tilted up in their own accord. He didn't have time for this. He had a meeting. He had a future to deal with. Oh god, but he had his boyfriend's tongue circling his slit. Everything else could go directly to hell.

"Just relax, Chris," Darren said happily, as he licked around the head. "Let me take care of you. You'll feel better."

The room was soon filled with nothing but the dirty sounds of Darren's mouth working on Chris' cock and Chris' panting breaths and moans. Darren lapped eagerly at the drops of pre-come and Chris knew he wouldn't be able to last too long. Darren hummed, content, causing shots of pleasure to spark all over Chris' body. He had already confessed, late at night, when it was dark, when he had Chris' cock in his hand and was stroking it teasingly, how much he loved blowing him, how much he enjoyed feeling the weight and the taste in his mouth. Chris had come harder than ever that night.

When Darren felt Chris' orgasm was near, he increased his pace, his head bobbing up and down faster, with a steady rhythm that was driving Chris crazy. He buried his fingers tighter in Darren's messy hair, tugging at the curls, knowing how much Darren liked that. Darren groaned, causing it to vibrate all through Chris, as he arched his back and started coming down his boyfriend's throat. Darren swallowed everything eagerly and didn't pull off until Chris tugged on his hair again, way too sensitive.

Darren smiled lazily up at him and Chris looked down with pleasure-dazed eyes. "Did it help?"

"I don't know," Chris mumbled, letting himself fall back on the bed. "Is it bad that I can't even remember my name right now?"

Darren laughed, and it was hoarse and sexy and Chris wished he had the strength and the time to tackle him into bed and have his wicked way with him. "Come on, silly. Get ready and I'll make some coffee in the meantime!"

Chris eyed him as Darren stood up. He was also only in his underwear and the erection straining against the soft cotton was painfully evident. "Uhm. Do you want me to… you know, take care of that?"

"No, don't worry about it," Darren smiled and, before leaving the room, he added with a wink, "I'll jerk off in the shower once you leave."

Chris' head fell back with a thump. That wasn't the kind of image he needed to have in his mind while he was at a meeting.

* * *

The man who had launched the contest Chris had won was a producer who liked to discover promising new talent, writers that had all the tools to make a piece of art, except for the money to make it happen. He also moved in the big Hollywood circles, but liked to keep opportunities open to those who still hadn't made their name known. He knew what it was like having to start from the very bottom of the pyramid, and with the speed with which things moved these days, people who didn't have it all could never make it. Chris had the story, the brilliance and the eagerness and he had the money. It was as simple as that.

Chris had thought, before he was asked to come into the office, that it was probably some sort of interview, that it wasn't something sure already. He thought he was being tested somehow, that his dream still wasn't reachable.

When he left, almost three hours later, once all the details were laid out in front of him, Chris had in his bag a whole schedule, including dates in which he needed to attend casting meetings to choose the perfect actors for the characters and a estimated time in which they would start filming.

The dream was resting in the palm of his hand. He just needed to close his fingers around it and not let it go.

* * *

Darren had gotten tired of waiting for Chris at home. He was too anxious to wait there alone, so he ended up going to Caffeine Fix, to wait with Ashley, who was as nervous as he was.

When Chris crossed the door with the biggest, most beautiful smile that had ever appeared on his face, Darren crossed the coffee shop as quickly as he could and enveloped his boyfriend in his arms, hugging him tightly.

Ashley joined them just a few seconds later.

* * *

"I'm so proud of you," Darren muttered in the dark of their bedroom hours later. They had to wait until Chris' shift was finished and then until Darren's gig was finished, and then they had to wait forever at their favorite take out place. But they were finally in bed together, tangled in each other, bodies sweaty and sticky. They knew they needed to get up and take a shower, but they were too comfortable, too happy, too relaxed to move. Not now. Just a little bit more.

Chris sighed and cuddled closer, tracing circles on Darren's chest with his finger. "Part of me is afraid to screw it up, so I don't want to be excessively happy…"

Chris swore he could see Darren rolling his eyes in the dark. "You won't screw it up. Stop being your own obstacle for once in your life and enjoy it."

Dropping a kiss right where Darren's heart was beating in his chest, Chris smiled and nodded lazily. "Okay. I'll be good, I promise. I won't sabotage myself."

"Good," Darren's arms wrapped around him tighter. "And we need to celebrate, too. We didn't have enough time today, but I want to do something. Take you out for dinner, maybe, to that place that was a few streets away from Caffeine Fix that you liked so much…"

Chris shifted next to him as he felt his heart pound a little harder. "We could celebrate tonight," he suggested in a low voice.

Darren frowned. "Now? You want to get up and go out? Isn't it a little late to go out for dinner? I mean, we already ate and all that…"

"No, I don't mean that I want to go out for dinner. We could… you know, stay here," Chris held his breath for a moment, letting Darren process the information. And then…

"Oh! I know! What about a Mario Kart marathon? I'll even let you be Mario this time and I'll behave if I lose, not like the last time we…" Darren said, enthusiastically, but Chris moved to hover over him and put a finger on his lips to silent him.

"I don't want to play video games, Darren."

Pouting slightly, Darren tilted his head to the side. "You don't?"

"No," Chris took a deep breath, telling himself he didn't need to feel so nervous right now. He leaned even closer, until their noses were brushing, and spoke the next words right against Darren's lips. "Would you m-make love to me?"

Darren's hazel eyes went wide and his eyebrows shot up, ending up hidden under his curls. The hand that he had put on Chris' hip squeezed him a little. "Is that what you want?"

Chris bit his lip and nodded. "Only if you want to, of course."

"If I wa-… are you fucking kidding me?" Darren muttered and his voice was already hoarse and his cock half hard against Chris' thigh. "Shit, Chris… I… yeah, I mean… how could I not want that?"

"I-I don't know. Maybe you're not ready?" Chris huffed and let himself drop on his back again, hating that he couldn't even ask his boyfriend for sex smoothly.

"Chris," this time it was Darren who moved to hover over him. "I've been ready to have sex with you since that time you didn't know I was in the apartment and you came out of the bathroom only in your briefs…"

"That was, like… two weeks after I moved in," Chris pointed out, confused.

"So? You have a wonderful ass," Darren shrugged, smirking. "It doesn't take too long to notice that."

Chris smacked his arm, but couldn't keep a smile from appearing on his face. "You're crazy."

"Crazy for you," Darren sighed dramatically and then leaned to capture Chris' lips in his, kissing him long and sweetly for a moment. When they pulled away, they were both a little breathless and the desire in their eyes was obvious even in the darkness of the room. "So… how do you want to do this?"

"Like this?" Chris asked, hesitantly, spreading his legs so Darren would fall between them.

Darren growled as their erections accidentally brushed. "Fuck, Chris, you can't just do shit like this, oh my god." He kissed him again as he thrust his hips just a little bit, just to get enough friction to take the edge off. "This is going to be so much better than Mario Kart…"

Chris chuckled. "I certainly hope so…"

Words got lost in new kisses as Darren's hands startedwandering over Chris' body, not being able to believe that he was lucky enough to be allowed to touch Chris, to kiss him, to have him close. To make love to him.

He had his fingers coated with lube and his lips wrapped around one of Chris' nipples when he started feeling like an anxious, inpexerienced teeneager. He looked up at Chris. "Will you tell me if you want me to stop or if I'm doing something you don't like or…?"

Chris cupped his face with his hands and pulled him in for another kiss, less desperate, all love and sweetness. "Don't freak out on me, Darren."

"I'm not," Darren swallowed. "I just want it to be perfect for you."

"It already is," Chris answered, nuzzling his nose against Darren's stubbly cheek. "I'm with you."

The happy smile on Chris' face turned into a gasp when Darren's finger circled his entrance. When Darren pushed inside carefully, he moaned softly. It felt weird and amazing all simultanously and he couldn't even imagine how much more overwhelming having Darren entirely inside of him would make him feel.

Darren opened him up and stretched him lovingly, peppering kisses all over his body and giving him plenty of time to adjust to the feeling. He crooked his fingers, searching, until he brushed the perfect spot that sent a rush of pleasure all over Chris, causing him to arch off the bed and moan Darren's name, his voice going high, impossibly adorable and sexy at the same time.

Chris could've come just from that, from Darren's fingers and his lips sucking his hipbones and thighs, but he took a deep breath and resisted it. He wanted more. He wanted it all.

They looked each other in the eyes, without even blinking, as Darren positioned himself. Chris could already feel the tip of Darren's cock against his entrance, and he licked his lips in anticipation, a bit nervously. He buried his hands in the mass of Darren's curls and tugged him down for a quick kiss.

"I love you," Darren said, smiling at him in such a sweet, tender way that it almost looked out of place right then.

"I love you, too…" Chris whispered back, raising his legs to wrap them around Darren's waist.

Darren pushed inside swiftly, but as delicately as he could and paused, panting, to give Chris some time.

Nothing could've prepared Chris for how it felt to be connected to Darren like that. It was so much more than sex. Something so much deeper than having someone's cock inside of him. it was about trust and love and knowing how right they were together and a lot of other things that he couldn't find names for yet, because all these feelings were still so _new_. He had been with Darren for only a few months, but the word _lifetime_ flashed in front of his eyes in neon lights, trying to get his attention. Forever. Destiny. Together.

After a couple of minutes, Darren moved all the way in and then shifted to kiss Chris, desperate and eager, as he leaned on his forearms.

"You feel so amazing…" he mumbled, hoarsely.

"You too. So full…" Chris closed his eyes and threw his head back, trying to memorize all the sensations running through his body, tickling his skin, burning him so perfectly. Darren's lips immediately latched to the expanse of his neck, so pale and kissable, and started sucking on the skin there.

They started rocking together rythmically, slowly, getting used to the other's pace and trying to match it. Darren's hands looked for Chris' and their fingers intertwined. He moved them up, above Chris' head, resting on the pillow, using their hold as leverage to thrust more steadily into his boyfriend. The heat building around them and in them was so good, that they couldn't hold back the moans and groans escaping from their throats.

Darren didn't even let go of his hand to stroke him and Chris didn't need to. Their love exploded in millions of little fragments of the wildest pleasure and, for a moment, Chris thought that there were fireworks lighting up the room. They were everywhere and in every possible color, and they vibrated through his sated body as he clenched around Darren, who was still shaking with his own orgasm.

They stayed silent, snuggling as close as they could and trying to breathe normally again. Darren couldn't stop kissing him lazily and Chris' hand found its way to the back of Darren's head and he played with the curls, lovingly. It was all he had strength for.

"Perfect," Darren mumbled against the crook of his neck, where he was kissing him. "You're perfect."

Chris smiled and sighed happily. "I could say the same thing about you…"

"Love you," Darren threw an arm around his waist and moved even closer, so much that their sticky, sweaty bodies were glued together. "Love you so much."

Chris hated to be the one to break the bubble of bliss. "We need to shower."

"But you're so comfortable and warm…" Darren complained, frowning sleepily.

"And gross," Chris chuckled. "Come on…"

It took a lot of convincing, but Darren finally agreed to get out of bed and shower with him. They got back into bed fifteen minutes later and, just before falling deeply asleep, Darren murmured: "So much better than Mario Kart…"

Chris fell asleep soon after, still giggling and so happy that he was sure the smile on his face was going to cause his lips to crack open. And maybe this was the meaning of happiness: falling asleep in his boyfriend's arms after being loved in such an exquisite way, and feeling the puff of his breath against his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

He couldn't remember falling asleep to anything more perfect in his entire life.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed this! Like I said, there's only the epilogue left, and I think it'll be up sometime next week :) I would love to hear your thoughts on this!**

**Thanks so much for reading!**

**L.-**


	10. Epilogue

**Hello everyone and Happy Glee Day! Who's excited for tonight?! I know I am.**

**Here's the epilogue. Please, read the author's note at the end.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

**A year and a half later.**

When Chris' movie was picked up to be featured in the Tribeca Film Festival in New York, Chris almost had a heart attack before he could even tell Darren about it.

Darren had barely had time to close the door behind him before he had his arms full of a quivering Chris. His boyfriend had started kissing him frantically and, for a moment, Darren panicked when he noticed the tear tracks on his pale cheeks.

"Whoa, sweetheart, what's up?" He asked, gripping Chris' arms and gently pushing him away a few inches so he could look at him.

"My movie!" Chris practically yelled, enthusiasm and excitement evident in his voice. "Darren, I just got a call…"

That was all the explanation he had been able to get from Chris for at least fifteen minutes, but when he calmed down enough to be articulate, he explained what had happened. That resulted in another fifteen minutes of Darren screaming like a girl and running around the apartment in rapturous excitement.

"Oh my god! Oh my god, Chris! Have you called your mom yet? We need to call them! We need to call Ashley! Oh my god, let's call everyone!"

Chris just smiled, tugged at his boyfriend's arm and pulled him in for a kiss that tasted salty because of his tears of joy.

* * *

Chris had never been on a plane before. Saying he was nervous wasn't nearly enough to explain how he felt. He gripped Darren's hand tighter as the sounds of the plane getting ready to take off resonated in his ears.

"Ssh, everything will be fine," Darren kissed that spot under his ear that he absolutely could spend hours kissing.

"I don't even know if I'm more nervous about the flight or the festival…" Chris admitted, letting his head drop back against the seat.

"Look at me," Darren whispered and Chris turned to face him immediately. The love he found in those beautiful hazel eyes caused him to sigh deeply. "I've told you many times before that you're amazing. There's nothing to worry about. You'll do great."

Chris shifted closer and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, still trying to figure out how he'd gotten lucky enough to find Darren to shine a bright light on his days, when all he had known before was the dull darkness.

* * *

It was loud and crowded and Chris couldn't stop looking around, trying to make sense of the things surrounding him. He felt his tie choking him and wished he could loosen it a little. Darren squeezed his hand before he was pushed by someone he didn't know towards some journalist who was there waiting to interview the people from the festival.

Chris was surprised to find out the woman knew who he was and was sure he blushed intensely when she started praising the movie and saying how brilliant it was. He was a little wide-eyed and tried to answer as humbly as possible, hoping he wasn't stuttering so much.

"One last question, Chris," she said with a smile. "Have you brought anyone as a date to your very first festival?"

His heart quickened. He looked over his shoulder, to where Darren was standing a few feet away, waiting for him. He reached his hand and Darren took it immediately. "Yes. I brought my boyfriend."

Darren's eyes had never sparkled as much as they did right then.

* * *

Even though Chris was done with all of his movie-related appearances, they decided to stay in New York for the rest of the weekend. Darren had been there a few years ago, but it was Chris' first time in the city, and they wanted to make the most of it.

They stayed at a cozy little hotel. Darren woke up earlier than Chris and went down to a cute coffee shop around the corner to buy coffee and bagels, which they ate together leaning against the open window of their room, overlooking the city. Darren put his cup and bagel down and wrapped his arms around Chris' waist, dropping a few quick, sweet kisses to the back of his neck.

"We could get married here, you know?" He said, out of nowhere. "We could just do it, in a place like this."

Chris smiled. If Darren had said something like that a year before, he would've choked on his breakfast. But now, he wasn't only completely used to his boyfriend's antics. He also really believed, with everything he was, he had and he hoped, that Darren was the man he was going to end up marrying.

Still, he just turned his head to the side, enough to kiss Darren's cheek and then took a sip of his coffee. "Not yet," he murmured and it sounded like a promise.

A promise that made Darren's lips stretch into a big, bright, gorgeous smile.

* * *

Los Angeles seemed a bit colorless after a few days in New York. Chris still loved it way more than he had ever loved Clovis, but he couldn't help but think how right everything had felt in New York.

"We can always go back there, live there for a while, if we want to, someday," Darren told him when Chris voiced his thoughts late one night, as they lay next to each other on their bed, with their skin a little sticky and their breath still a bit fast. "It's not like anything is stopping us…"

"We never know what life has planned for us," Chris sighed and moved closer to his boyfriend's warmth. He yawned, resting his head on his chest. "Maybe it'll surprise us."

"It surprised me with you," Darren muttered, kissing his hair, inhaling the sweet scent of his shampoo. "I'm still grateful everyday."

Chris fell asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

After everything that happened with _Struck by Lightning_ in the festival, and how successful it had been, people wanted to know who that guy with the angelic face and the brilliant talent was.

"He's my boyfriend," Darren would say to anyone willing to listen, grinning proudly. "He wrote and starred the movie. He's amazing."

Then, somehow, and not even Chris was sure how, because he couldn't believe this was his life now, a publishing house showed interest in _The Land of Stories_.

The first time Chris saw his name on the cover of the book that told the same story he had told his sister when they were kids, he cried in Darren's arms for almost an hour.

"He's my boyfriend," Darren would say to anyone willing to listen, grinning proudly. "He starred on a movie he wrote himself, and he's also a published author. He's fucking amazing, man."

Every time, Chris would blush and tug on Darren's curls to force him into a kiss, half because he wanted to shut him up and half because he couldn't help it.

* * *

To say that the people from Disney were totally and completely in love with Darren, was an understatement.

Since he had worked with them for the first time in that movie, they had kept calling him, always for small parts, but always keeping him around, giving him a song or two to sing, say a few lines on a TV show, record a voice for another character.

Chris had always known it was just a matter of time until Disney made a star out of Darren. he just didn't think it would happen _that_ way.

Chris came from having lunch with Ashley. They still met several times a week even though Chris didn't work a Caffeine Fix anymore. Neither did Ashley. She had been cast in a sit-com as a secondary character but considering how hilarious she was, it was probable she would be promoted to co-star of the show in just a couple of seasons.

Darren was sitting on the couch, completely still, staring at his cellphone, which he was clutching tightly in his hand.

"Dare?" Chris called, carefully, worried. "Is everything alright?"

"The people from Disney just called," he said, still not moving.

"Yeah? What did they want? Do they want you to record a song for a movie or something?" Chris asked as he sat down next to him and put a hand on his knee.

"They're making a Broadway musical of The Little Mermaid and they want me to be Eric," Darren answered, unexpressively, but then he turned to Chris and his eyes were wide and blown away and he was paler than Chris had ever seen him. "They said they won't even make me audition. They said the role is mine if I want it…"

Chris' mouth fell open and, just a couple seconds later, he started laughing, not sure what else he could do with the sudden surge of happiness inside of him. "Oh my god! Darren, that is fantastic!"

Darren just blinked. It was unusual for him. he was always a ball of energy and bliss bouncing off the walls and now just… nothing. Chris grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Is something wrong, love?"

"No," Darren shook his head. "I'm just… shocked. They want me to _star_ a Broadway musical."

"You worked really had for an opportunity like this, Darren," Chris smiled and kissed the corner of his boyfriend's mouth. "I'm so, so happy for you…"

"We're gonna have to move to New York…" Darren said, still blinking, bewildered.

Chris nuzzled their noses together. "When do you want to start packing?"

* * *

One night Chris woke up and glanced at the clock on his bedside table. The clock reflected the hour in a green, annoying light: 3.48 AM.

He realized, sitting there in the darkness with Darren's body wrapped around his, that he hadn't had a nightmare in almost two years.

* * *

Now that they were a lot busier than they used to, they had a deal with their families to take turns to spend each holiday with them. They had spent Thanksgiving in San Francisco with Darren's family (his mother was absolutely in love with Chris, so much that both Darren and his brother were even concerned about being demoted and replaced by him) so for Christmas it was the Colfers' turn.

They hadn't gone back to Clovis for a long while, not since that first time Darren went there. They usually invited Karyn, Tim and Hannah to join them in LA or New York, but Darren knew Chris didn't like coming back, so he always tried to make fun plans for everyone elsewhere. But Hannah had had a couple of hard weeks and, even though she was better now, his parents hadn't wanted to stress her with flights across the country and crowded cities.

Chris wasn't sure why they had gone out for a walk. Maybe because Darren still didn't know Clovis except for the street where his parents' house was and the house itself, maybe because he thought his boyfriend had some sort of right to see where he came from. Maybe because he wanted to exorcize the vestiges of the poison of his previous life by walking down the streets of the town that had seen him at his lowest and not feeling afraid.

Their hands were clasped together (_I don't care what the bigoted assholes in this place think, Chris. I'm used to holding your hand while we walk and I will do it here, in New York or at the end of the world_) and they walked mostly in silence. Chris commented random things every now and then (_I worked there when I was seventeen. That crack on the street has been there since I can remember, and once I tripped on it and skinned my knee. Hannah loved it when I would take her to that park._) and Darren mostly listened, knowing exactly when to squeeze his fingers comfortingly or when to pull him closer depending on what Chris was saying.

They were considering turning around and going back home when a voice stopped them.

"Hey, Colfer, wait!"

Chris froze. Darren could feel him tensing next to him. He threw an arm around his waist protectively, letting Chris know that he was there, letting him know that no matter what would happen, Darren would never allow anyone to hurt him again.

When Chris saw the guy who was approaching them, he tensed even more. It wasn't one of the guys who had attacked him that terrible, distant night, but he had always been friends with those idiots, had always treated him like nothing but garbage when he walked down the hallways at school or down the streets of their hometown. Still, he held his head high, proudly, not showing his fear.

The guy looked a bit uncomfortable, especially since Darren wouldn't take his eyes off him. "Uhm. I was wondering… could you give me your autograph? My sisters love your books," he said, scratching the back of his head, almost nervously.

Chris blinked, incredulous. "You want…"

"If you don't mind, dude," the boy said, shrugging a bit, avoiding his eyes.

Chris exchanged a look with Darren and then he muttered, awkwardly. "I don't have any paper or pen…"

"I do. Give me a second," the boy said, searching in his pockets and finally extending a piece of paper and a pen to Chris. "Thank you. It'll mean a lot to them…"

Chris took both things from him, being very careful not to touch the other's hand. He hesitated, but then he signed the paper and handed it back to the boy. He forced a tiny smile on his face and turned around, dragging Darren with him and leaving the boy behind.

The autograph read: _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Keep that in mind. Chris Colfer._

* * *

Life was a curious thing. It could be beating you down one day and showing you everything was beautiful and so very worth it the next. If anyone had learnt that, that had been Chris.

Even though he had healed, he had never been able to forget those days of utter darkness, and he didn't want to. He was who he was and he had gotten where he was because of the way his past had marked him. For so long he had been searching for a way out, crawling blindly and almost hopelessly until there was a break in the clouds and a ray of light had allowed him to see how to get out of there, how to find what he so desperately needed and didn't know how to find.

His past had led him to mornings waking up next to Darren and frantic days writing non stop to meet his deadlines and nights seeing Darren on stage for the millionth time but glowing as much as he did that very first night when he was so terrified and so excited. His past had led him to this, to this love and this happiness and it had made him stronger in the process. He wasn't grateful for his nightmares, but he couldn't deny how wonderful it was to know that his reality was even better than his craziest dreams.

* * *

**It's been a pleasure writing this for you guys. You always make publishing my stories so worth it, with every comment, every review, every message. Thank you so much for that, and I hope you've enjoyed this as much as I did.**

**This idea's been around in my head for almost a year, and it frustrated me lots of times when I think I couldn't get it right. During those times, I always count with my wonderful friend Brandi, who helps a lot more than she thinks she does. So I probably wouldn't have finished it without her. I love you, dumdum.**

**The one person that always, always is there for me and puts up with my endless mistakes and typos is my fantastic beta, Wutif. I have no idea what I did to deserve her, but I'm so glad I did it. She's a great writer and you all should go right now and check her stories out. I mean it! I love you, B :)**

**Next story brings Klaine back! It's a story I never planned to write. I got the idea and I had to start typing it immediately. It's complete and it's about the same length as this one. It's called Heart Without a Home and it should be up in the next few weeks. I hope you guys will give it a chance and enjoy it!**

**Once again, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading. I love you all.**

**Enjoy Glee tonight!**

**L.-**


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